A Compilation Of Romantical Tidbits
From The Tomes Of Marcus


Perhaps somewhere along time's vista
as I stroll down the lane
twixt the cherry blossom snow
and the baby blue blanket of sky,
a crystal miracle
will flutter down
on the fragranted breeze
to alight on my honored shoulder,
blow a kiss in my ear
and say “today is your day,
what do you wish?
I shall grant reality
to whatever desire is most special.”
there would be sining,
elven voices mingling in the air.
there would be dancing,
a wild run midst the night skies.
I would pluck stars from their heavenly roosts
and place them like flowers in hair
to wink at me from inside your sparkle,
try vainly to outshine you
and finally bow to the Queen of their own.


memories
and memorabilia
substitute for your presence
as mementos embrace me
with their hint of your essence.
they fill me with silly fanciful notions
of lazy afternoons
and the coursing of unbridled passion
almost furious in its urgency
promising ecstasy and rhapsody
and calm in its permanency
whispering this is rapture and sincerity.


I see images of a rose,
love on the vine.

an erstwhile poet
dancing in his orbit
around the center of his universe --
you, the inspiration for each verse.

want to dive into your ocean
and ride the waves of emotion.
there's no worry I'll drown
for weightless is love's crown.

I yearn for the touch of your words
to fall like silken snowflakes about my head,
burst into flames once heard
and set my paper soul burnng in their stead.

there's so much to share:
a sweet kiss;
a gentle caress.
flattery may get you everywhere.


they say sweets that pass the lips
stay forever on the hips.
so sweetness gathered from twixt the hips
should spend eternity on the lips.
the nectar makes me giddy
like honeymoon champagne
and forever intoxicates me --
love's fine wine thrills my brain.


LOVE is a big word
woven from a million smaller 'luvs'.
I luv being with you,
it adds dimensions to my personality
and makes ego insignificant.
I luv the way you smile,
how your eyes reflect the joy of the soul
and the soft glow you radiate
flares brighter.
I luv the rush of color
it brings your gently drawn cheeks.
and I luv your lilting laugh,
a simple sound that melts me
and absorbs me into its echo.
when you wish to laugh
laugh with me,
it moves me along
in a soothing warm cascade.
when you want to smile
smile on me,
it removes obstacles
and lights my way.
when you need to cry
cry into me,
I'll soak up your tears
and return truth,
fantasy
and support.

listen to me.
I sound just like
some foolish romantic,
young and in love.
guess I am
from time to time.
wish I could be that way
every second, every day.

Was That Love In Yur Eyes I Saw
Or Merely The Reflection Of Mine?
AKA Previous Brokens Were Essentially Only Scratches
aka guess i've given up on my dreams


I met You,
  You were the mostest
    (I met the mostest!!!)
What was I supposed to do
other than Love You?
    forever and then some,
      whatever may come
        (mmm, make You ***)!

I actually believed You Loved me too,
  felt forever future was finally true.
Had i learned nothing from always being me?
  How could You feel a future being with me?
    (Yur future be being with me?)

And as much as i miss Yur kiss
  (where i could happily stay all day),
that's not what i miss most,
  not even close!

Do You know what it is i miss the most?
Do You know what memory i kiss the most?
  GGF?
  BABF?
  The nervous excitement coursing thru Clint
    when time was about to be with You spent?
  Every text, pebble, clown horn, rock n roll ring tone?
  Every time seeing the freeway sign for “our” home?
  Pulling into Yur driveway?
  Walking thru Yur doorway?
  Seeing you?
  (Z-O-E's excited hug
    yeah, i'd do that drug!!!)
  The minutes and/or hours with You?
  Our blue-eyed soul-share-stare?
  Every single second of every miracle minute?
    Yeah, that's it!!!!
      EVERYTHING!!!!

**** here far after the shatter,
none of that will ever again matter.
It's all irrelevant regardless,
  and a lot of useless less.

And despite all the times i re-journey
  the paths & places She showed me,
She ain't there,
  so i'm just nowhere.

Much too much to lose
  how do i choose
    to just play the blues
     & survive this core bruise

Noe mere heart-hurt
  the shriek-leak down my my shirt,
    spirit tears in full-on spurt,
      metaphysical face pushed in the dirt.

Was it so simple sweetie
  to leave me?
Will it be oh so easy
  to forget me?


That 1st night at the fire
(sparks flitting floating flirting higher
   and Yur personality flowed from You)
i was already aching to touch You
  (oh sweet reality
     who hath so often forsaken fooled and ****** me
        please let this be true)

And You knew
  and smiled inside
and were already wondering
  and maybe knowing
    where we were going....

And that nervous spastic excitement,
  that purring calm contentment,
    the breathless rushing rollercoaster,
      making love and then cuddling in nature...
i felt them every single solitary eternal moment!!

(and every time i see You
  or think about You
    that will still always be true)


Did you see her there?
  the ultra rare
    beyond compare
      barely even touched by the air???

My today had never promised more tomorrows
where I would smile and dance
    and nurture Yur joy
And now i've never ****** down such sorrow
  with the bile and lost balance
    of the thrown away toy
Prince of the Fair
  to King of Despair...

You saved me
gave YOU to me
and then left me
  with only me
and lone wolf
  alone wolf
    lonely wolf
      is trapped in rabid agony

You made me think
  let me think
    I had never been worthless
      now i've never been worth less

Listen closely...
  less close to me
    than i've ever been,
      can you say broken....

faded clown
  fallen down
unable to mend??
never to rise again?!

i don't know much of much anymore
  forgot how to care why i'm here for
you could **** me today
  that would be okay
    i'm basically dead anyway

but because of others
i'm not allowed to cross over
**** i HATE life without You
  *** do i do?

guess i'm gonna end up one of those spectres
  the dark abandoned spirits of despair
a glacial stink stain in the ether
  long gone **** unable to move on
locked in yesterday's eternal sorrow
  haunting with hurting forever tomorrow

oh ****
  guess i already am

Ever had the most rad?
  The holy ghost of glad?

I had seven months of spastically happy,
  miles of miracles more than ever been in me!
I was lifted beyond unknown heights,
  kiss-gifted to upon cloud-shown sights!

**** my sweetest taurus
  tore US
and i was tossed aside
  cast back across cliff-side
on the catapult
  of my-fault

Stranded,
  broken before i landed,
and after,
  all that's left is shatter...

Crying daily,
  well,
    more sobbing uncontrollably,
      spirit crying as it's dying
the essence of yur being
  screaming as it's bleeding...

what is there but weeping and sleeping?

Flowers for the ones you've known,
  the dead given new life grown.
Except it ***** even more than ever before,
  cuz yur heart is being ****** upon Death's shore.

And my present somewhen
  is i shall never shine again.
My rare laughter
  is a terrorist to me,
    a foreigner ex-family.
Anything non-shatter
  is an unwelcome stranger
    nonsense cult danger...

i keep going thru the motions,
  despite nooooooo!!! emotions...
having empty echo conversations,
  exerting energy in wasted creations...

trying to care
why'ing to share
  **** nah
    i got nothing there...
other than a why the **** would i care,
  and a barren sigh soul-struck stare...

Almost all smiles are fake forced and painful,
  ain't that the definition of ******' wonderful?!
**** oh woe is me,
  i s'posed to be oh so happy...
Oh yes sir Cap'n,
  that's gonna ******' happen...

except i ain't got no mend
  and this ain't got no end
other than forever....

My Murdered Miracle


so sometimes it seems a miracle may be murdered
  viciously visceral
with the shock
  and the shattering
  and the mangling of the emotions
    (and of course the inability to breathe as your soul is strangled)
      as your future is ****** over the cliff by an evil **** ******
    (and the fall may even be your fault)

yeah, I noe,
  not exactly a ******* surprise
if you've watched the decades of dying in my eyes
  or read my blog anytime after the age of 10
    (****, was that really the first poisoned when)

whatever whenever of forever later
  the sharpest shock
  the shardest shatter
the dank blank dead stare
  dried blood stains  
    un-resuscitated remains
      of what I used to share

my deep blue eyes
  open as wide as emotion allows
are riptide embraced
  into the motions beyond the shallows
    by Yur deep blue eyes
and I see straight into Yur soul
  instantly the fate of my soul
  (ooohhhhh, what I saw
     I had never even dreamed of seeing
       and You were the infinite microwave thaw
         to my forever frozen being)

**** I took the Doves of Love
  (these birds can't fly)
and with selfish enjoyment of every moment
  lagged in my movement
    towards where we were meant to be
giving them an over the cliff shove
  (why why why why why)

She is SHANNON
  SHANNON!!!
the MOST of the MOSTEST i've ever known
the PERFECT in every part and tone
  and She luved me
         SHE LUVed me!!!

I made her move and groove
  smile and giggle
  *** and then ***
    and then some

I learned and grew
  and she knew
I massaged and inspired
  until my tongue was tired
I held her as close as I could do
  and still have our heartbeats be two

**** i believed too much in my belief
  (beware the ides of grief)
failed to fast forward to what she needed
  and ended up behind what she needed!!!!

i met an angel
  and She wanted me...me
i met my angel
  and SHE Loved me...me

maybe you don't understand the historical universal infinite implications of what to you seems to be a simple detail...the coolest chick in the history of the world glowed in luving me (simply the singular most wonderful woman in strength intelligence hotness beauty empathy honesty silly sweet intensity kindness lust for life and ACTUALLY BEING ALIVE)

and i knew what to do. and it was going to give the me i've wanted to be. yo, i noe, **** i was way too slow.   FFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK

every single solitary second
  felt like the first
    excited nervous giggly jiggly
each kiss such a lip lock on joy
  that i missed the fragile of the real
    left with lonely chapped lips which shant heal



...but maybe a similar distant cousin miracle shall be the 2nd Best feeling ever that keeps him alive...

he met his angel
and even if she won't keep kissing him
he still gets to noe her right?
  Right?

Have You Ever Had A Heart?

When we're here at the end
  how where do I begin?
With stars upon thars
and scars upon ours?
With she broke me
  **** she did it nicely?

with details expressed about being depressed?
  despair dangles me in death's doorway
    but doesn't drop me quite all the way
  ******* coward won't keep his word
    so I must exist another day...

heart is dead
  yet still it screams
heard in my head
  haunting my dreams
    (hunting me it seems)

simple savage sappy sorrow
  shall be the same tomorrow
as pain shrieks
  in fetal fever
blood stain streaks
  in fatal forever
because of course
  the miracle is a rotting corpse

forever with her          timeless
forever without her        eternity

Tears roll
  I ain't no stone
tears whose only smile
  is a rock n roll ringtone

If all you wanted was a miracle
  to finally make Yur life full
then just have another beer
and you'll end up here

broken
  again
**** beyond broken this time
  (stare if you dare into within the hole)
all that's whole is your rhyme

(I assume you realize,
  you're somehow aware,
     that the hole unwhole is my soul)

Or maybe mayhap perhaps its my heart
  I done been infused with the confuse
    since the break apart start

lying about not dying
  when all that's true
    is all about You
and crying
and why'ing

cuz we were the miracle
  we were a forever full
forever is a lifetime and then many more
  which tweren't enough for all we had in store

everything the song could sing
  of all we could need or desire
love hope strength fuel for the fire
  that was what disappeared into instant nothing

will it always haunt me??
how can she not want me??
hearse curse
  never worse
hope??
happy??
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKK

faded forlorn fractured fragmented
completely de-clinted
traded torn tossed to the trash
  canceled check counterfeit cash

broken yet again
  just another somewhen
except my fault this time
  twas my non-rhyme

how do you go from happier
  to happiest
to burst into the worst

have you ever felt the squeeze that crushes the heart of a star
  been unable to breathe because of the death of all you are
how do you continue when what you knew isn't true
  if love is rendered irrelevant then whatever do you do

scenery never seen
  barely even imagined
suddenly miracled me
  actually ******* happened

but it abandoned me soon thereafter
  never to whisper another chapter
shhhhh don't listen to this
  shut up your only kiss

for 7 months fate was my favorite writer
  destiny my best-friend editor
then suddenly they were evil censors

love unlucked me faster
  than I could even begin to breathe
luck unloved me farther
  than even I could ever believe

my fingertips still feel Yur breast
  my lingering lips tasting Yur heartbeat
I still feel Yur body pressed to my chest
  Yur embrace keeping me safe in my sleep  

now all around me
  nothings surround me
i am the epitome of empty
  cobwebbed memory
    a soul's stifled breath
      destined for dusty death

how do you exist in the happy happy joy joy world outside
  when everything that matters has been crushed inside
how do you explain how everything is worthless
  when you've never been worth less