I wish I could explain it,
But I'm so confused,
My heart it aches each and everyday,
I've let go,
At at least mostly,
But when I'm alone your face flashes by in my mind,
Then I remember it all,
Our friendship that became love,
I remember our story,
Our hugs,
Our kisses,
Our laughs,
Our smiles,
I start remembering how much you meant,
Remembering when you loved me,
I wish you never let go,
I wish you would hug me,
But these days,
Just a hello would do,
A hello I may never get.

Hold me tight
Promise me
I'm your real love
And all those
Before
Were bad mistakes
Lie to me
Tell me
Your love
For them
Could never
Compare to
The love you have for me
Kiss me
And say
Your marrying me
And no other girl
Will ever
Or has ever
Heard those words
From your lips
I love you
And the past
Can be a bad
Reminder of
The lies we told
But once believed
And I honestly
Would hate
Despise
Loathe
The past
Except
I met you
Somewhere back there
Behind the girls you dated
Behind the ones who hurt you
You and I met
Once so innocent and young
And I have finally gotten you
I just never want to let go
I don't wanna be one of those girls.

Don't let me be.

To my suprise I awoke beside him,
A lush man a nd a devilish smile,
He looked at me with brown eyes,
And he he whispered his love to me,
To my suprise my body cuddled close with his,
I had never felt so warm in my life,
To my suprise I felt his heartbeat,
Fast then sl;ow,
Loud then soft,
He kissed me on the cheek,
And to my suprise I smiled,
He was truly a kind man,
A man I had loved for a long time,
These were the moments I would cherish,
To my suprise I realized he was the man,
The man lying next to me was the man that I would dream of spending my life with,
And to my suprise that's who he became.

Ignore the
Harsh words
And please
Lavish yourself
In the good ones
Never ignore
The words
"I love you "
Because I tell you
Every time I can
Don't listen
To my words
From the past
Because not all
Of them are sweet
Darling
Just know
No matter what I say
Or what I do
No matter what happens with you
Or me
My love for you
Will live on forever.

And this giant wave hit her
The epiphany she avoided
For so long

She wasn't happy
She was numb

She can't remember
The last time she felt loved

Can't recall the feeling of being held

Can't remember the last time
She still had a dream to pursue

It hit her like a Tsunami
Washing her away

She was the broken

She has been for a long time.

Let me
Slither away
In shame
For I do not
Deserve such
Greatness
For though
I never knew
I destroyed
Both me and you.

It's like they smell my emotions,
And they all runaway scared,
Scared of the reality I see,
The reality they ignore,
The darkness lives in us,
waiting for our breaking point,
My breaking point,
It was loosing you,
It was loosing the only thing that brightened my days,
The lose of you brought the lose of my sanity,
My mind forgot everything new it was taught,
It only remembered you and me,
And Our Memories,
The story of how we met,
how we became best friends,
How I fell in love with you,
The hugs we shared,
The stares we enjoyed,
The kisses spent in the rain,
Our first and my best,
Our memories never died,
they haunted me,
and they all grew sick of me,
sick of our stories,
they still run,
run from my heart,
but while they're running from me,
my heart is trying to chase them,
and in the process breaking bit by bit.

The truth about love is It hurts you,Your not in love if at one point you didn't doubt either yourself or the person you claim to love...The truth about love is There are good times and there are bad...But if it's real love it won't matter as long as your together...The truth about love is You don't see it coming and if you do,you can't avoid it.You were suppose to fall in love you were suppose to hurt at one point...Your suppose to doubt it...Your suppose to feel like it's a mistake or like you don't deserve to be loved..Everyone deserves to be loved....Everyone has a soul-mate but humans tend to not see when or soul-mate is right in front of us...And then they leave and we believe we've lost our only chance but they'll return if it was meant to be...

Where oh where
Art thou
My sweet
Romeo.

Ancient loves killed,
New ones go uncreated,
Trapped by the abyss of lonliness,
There is no freedom here,
This is a judgemental place,
Love is not free,
There is always a darkness we don't see.

Everything falls to pieces,
These pieces no longer fit,
They no longer wish to belong,
Love is the evil running through me,
Hate is in each breath and beating of my heart,
I will be forgotten,
These stories will be abandoned,
There will be no end.

Let me see
Your internal
Wounds
So I may
Heal them
As you
Are healing mine.

I hate myself
Because I love those
Who can never love me

Because somehow
I always do what's wrong
Instead of right

Because in the end
I'm the one left alone
Crying

Holding only myself.

He's nice,
Funny,
Cute,
Kind,
And Caring,
But He's Gay.

I am from a land where darkness is the ruler,
where evil thoughts roam,
I am from cuts that have become scars,
I am from a place where broken hearts are a must,
where broken hearts never heal,
I am from open coffins,
Filled with purple lifeless bodies,
I am from tears that are always being shed,
I am from abandoned memories,
With love to spare and no one to claim it,
I am from warm hugs that fade away,
I am from perfect kisses,that end in you walking away,
I am from hope that seems so pointless,
I am from trying that constantly fails,
I am from an imaginary valley where you are mine,
Where smiles are always real and light always shines,
I am from imperfections where nothing is right,
I am from my own planet,
I've claimed Venus as mine,
I am from Aphrodite,
Her daughter at heart,
I am from my own dreamland,
where memories are always reflected,
the memories of how I became,
Became Me.

I will be

The zebra

You can be

The lion

And I'll

Let you devour me.

Once upon a time
You were my prince
My knight in armor
You rode up on your stallion
Rescued me from hell
The smell of you
Clean and new
Enticing me to get closer
The feeling of your arms
As they wrapped around me
Warming any coldness
And causing my heart
To quicken its beating
Then one day
The feel of your lips
As they fought with mine
Your the victor though
You wanted your dominance
Need it too
The touch of your hand
Leaving me breathless
Making me desire more
Knowing I could not have it
Teasing me with touches and kisses
The love we shared then
Has faded away
Died and disspeared
Your sword slashed me
And memories
Burn as a reminder
We lost each other
And now
My prince
My adorable knight
Has become nothing
But a distant memory
A part of a life
I never truly could stay in
My fairy tale ended
Because fairy tales
Are not real.

I wanted to be a poet at nine
I remember writing then
Words about love
A forgein thing
I yearned to know
And I've discovered it now
Years later
But these words
They no longer seem right
Because my poetry
Is meh
I've seen myself grow into this person
One I've gotten at least a little comfortable
I just feel talentless
Like no matter what I say
Or what I do
Its not good enough for society
I'm sixteen
And the world has tossed me around
And I know liars who are better at life
And I know fakes that always get their way
But I work for it
And I know life's not fair
But I tried
And I dreamed
But I guess not all dreams come true
And no matter how long you never give up
The world never gives in
The world never gives chances
But I'm still trying to make them for myself.

I remember when we met
In that alleyway
And I kissed you
And my collapsed soul
Was reflated
When I fell in love
All over again
When I wanted you
Wanted you forever
And nearly cried
Because of my fear
That I couldn't have you
I remember kissing you
Because it was
The perfect kiss

We kissed with passion
We kissed with all of our hearts
We kissed like our lips were made for each other.

Everyone has walked away,
They turned their back on me,
At my darkest time the world left me,
I was a wandering soul with no one,
Love betrayed me,
It took away my friends,
My joy and hope too,
I have been abandoned,
The truth has cursed me and outcast,
I am nothing now,
I am only the unlovable,
The invisible and the lonely dreamer,
to the world I am a girl,
the world knows I am weak,
One day when my heart has healed I'll show them,
They'll see love is evil,
they will see I too can find light in the dark.

Weakness posses you,
Overcomes the darkness within and all life is ****** out of you,
Joy can occur but still there is a force holding you down,
And you seem to be drowning,
Reaching for help where none can be given.
How sad can a happy life get?
Behind the curtain lies a sccared and traumatized person,
Her wounds will not heal for internal wounds have branded her,
Every breath she took reminded her of the past,
Of all the pain,
The let downs,
The wrong choices and the words unspoken.
To believe I am this girl,
I am you breaks me,
For what am I but a fool,
I can't see all the good because I'm blinded by the sorrow,
I am weak and there is no mercy for me,
I fall to pieces by the simplest of acts,
I am nothing in the world of somethings,
To be worthless in the whirlpool of worthy lives.
Can no one feel my pain?
Am I truly that alone?
Truly I am,I am.

I'm weird
When I sleep
I leave my TV on
Because I fear the creaks
In the night
And I fear the dark
Because I sense there are
Always monsters
Lurking in it
I get deja vu
And I remember most of my dreams
They always seem vivid
And so real that I wake up sometimes
Crying or afraid
Or just plain confused
Sometimes I can look at a person
And tell if they're "vibe"
Is good or bad
Sometimes I like to look at people
And make up a story about how they've
Been damaged
And sometimes
I think I'm just plain crazy
For all the little things I do
Or all the things I feel.

She called me strong

How wrong she was

I can still see my scars

They sting sometimes

Just to remind me

I was weak

I still am

I heal just to be reopened

Torn apart again and again

There are wounds you do not see

But that I feel

I fight

But it doesn't mean I always win

No one can win all the time

Everyone is weak sometimes

I'm sorry to tell you

That your pain

Will remain

And if it does go

It will return

Suffering

Is a part of life

Being weak

Is a part of being human

We can't be strong all the time

And for now we'll remain

The weaklings that we are

We remain

Alive

And that is our greatest feat towards strength

We'll go on.

We'll survive.

Come and wrap me
In your loving arms
I need you
While the world
Tries to make me
Lifeless
You make me feel
Alive
So baby
Come hold me
I need you.

Why can't they understand
That without him
I sit here and wither away
That everday i found strength in him
And now everyday i find weakness
In his absence
Why can't they see
That without him
I am nothing
That our love torn apart
Damages me
Why can't they see it
I need him.

Do you know I still cry over you?
No,I thought you understood,My hearts cold,I simply don't wanna care
Do you realize no matter how far you push me away,I will always love you
Well I have no idea why
It's simple,You met me when I was dull and unhappy,You made me happy,I fell for you a little more each time you made me laugh and smile,Every time you looked at me I felt like the luckiest girl in the world,even if you were just my friend,I loved you your dark sadistic ways intrigued me,They brought out my own sadistic ways,You made me who I am
I made a monster
That monster died,you know that girl that cut,that cried,that hated the world?She died,and the true me now exist,and it's because of you she does
I stuck with you through it all,and I never did give up on you
Then don't now,Please I need you,I've always needed you
You were the one who said I broke your heart
You did,But not because you did something wrong,but because I had to live life without you,and life without you broke me
I don't want to hurt you
Then please,Just stay
I don't know
Please,you have to know that without you that monster will return.I know you don't want that and neither do I
I'll stay,If you promise me something
Anything
When You stop loving me,Find someone who appreciates you the way I always have
IF I stop loving you,I promise I will...

They try
To lure me
Back
Like I
Was so overjoyed
The first time around
I know they saw
How broken
My face looked
And I just repeat myself
Over and over
No
I can't
Because there's too much
At stake
There is no reason
Good enough
To ever go back
I just want to be with him
Cuddle close
Fearless and strong
Growing to be better
With him by my side.

There was a basic interview
Where we asked
What you liked
Who you were
And you responded
With so many words
That sounded like angels
Whispering in my ears
Your everything I want
And the thing is
I barely know you
I know facts
I know this insticnt
It draws me to you
I smile and say hi
You smile and wave in return
Our eyes in constant lock
Never breaking
Until we're walking in
Opposite directions
I **** the urge to follow you
To follow and keep staring
Into those eyes
I'm tempted to talk
But there is this fear
That you aren't everything I want
Even though
My heart screams
Your Just Right.

My apologies my dearest love,
I know I am not the prettiest,
I know I am not the smartest,
I know I am not athletic,
Nor am I comical,
But my darling love,
You have to see,
I will give you love even if you give hate,
I will kiss you on demand,
I will hug you even as you turn away,
I will hold your hand when you are afraid,
But my apologies my darling heart breaker,
I am sorry that I have love to give that you do not want,
I am sorry things have changed and your feelings are not the same,
My dearest love,
My darling hearty breaker,
My apologies.


(For all that I feel and all that I give.)

Hatred
Bred from
False lies
Hate in your soul
Causing
You to unhappily die
You see
Hate is not pure
And your hate
I know for sure
Your desires buried
By this loathing
I'm glad your gutless
Because it keeps you away
But still I know
It'd be better for us both
If your hatred wasn't so determined to stay.

I wish they
All asked permission
In the midst of their desire
I wish they had asked me
If it was what I really wanted
So that I didn't make those mistakes
Didn't let them invade me
So I could've ran like I wanted to
I do not blame anyone
But I sometimes wish
They simply asked
Before they entered my body
And left me impure
Left me unlovable
I wiped away
Their memories
But no one can ever
Wipe away my shame.

She's crying in her car
For the tenth time this week
And she begs for her life to end
And her request goes unanswered
She is a hallow woman
So broken from this world
Breaking more from the brokeness
Because people tell her
it'll get better
you'll move on
you'll forget
you won't always feel this way
And she just screams
When?! When does it stop feeling like a dagger is in my chest? When do I get to smile again? When will it get better? When, because it sure as hell hasn't happened after all this time.

She sits in her car
And she cries
Tries to steady her breath
She hopes
One day she won't have to cry
One day it won't ache her to wake up
She hopes
With every tear
And somehow she thinks
Her time will never come.

Years ago

He gave me fake flowers

He told me he'd love me so long as they lived

You know that story

I don't have them anymore

Hell, I'm not even sure what happened to them

But wherever they went they're still living

So is there some part of him

That still loves me?
Thinks of me?
Misses me?

Yell
Scream
Argue
Explain
Listen
Hurt
Ache
And
We
Understand.

You
Are A poet
Your perfect
At wielding your lies
Of "I love you's"
Your a teenage boy
Who can lie
Straight to a persons face
You
Are now the one
Who has me hoping
Those ******* words
Aren't just ******* lies
But it's okay
Because for this battle
I came well prepared
Because I am a teenage girl
Who is also a poet
And can tell blatant lies
I'm a girl who can tease you
Until you burst
I can make you feel
Like you tried to make me feel
Like A Piece Of Crap
Let's Just See Who Wins This Time.

I love our story

It hurt sometimes

But we've collided again and again

Reached bliss

And we still fight off evil

For evil cannot be destroyed

Only change it's form

But our love

It prospers

It is stronger than anyones

Tomfoolery

We are meant to be

Some are just to blind by evil and hate to see.

"I'm happy for you"
(But I'm not happy)
"Congrats"
(On having what I lost)
"He's a good kisser"
(I would know)
"I always knew you'd be with him"
(My heart and fear told me so)
"I can't believe you haven't kissed yet"
(But I'm glad you haven't)
"I'm okay with it"
(But I'm not,I'm just dealing with it.)

Cruelty,
Uncared for,
Loves but never loved,
Wants but never wanted,
Confused,
Love filled to the brim,
No one to love,
Left in a circle,
Left in the past,
Remember the pain,
Those who left,
Those who used,
Those who lied,
Those who just didn't give a ****.

You wrapped me in your arms to keep away my tears
(Minutes passed on by and my tears began to dry
and as they did I wished they'd stay
so I could continue lavishing in your arms)
You told me we all had a purpose in life
(I wanted so badly to kiss you
to be your first and last)
Minutes ticked on by we were alone and just talking
(I told you my lonliness,
the lack of love I've felt my whole life)
You ask if I ever liked you
(Like you?! God I thought I was falling for you
Not that I could ever tell you)
I thought my yes would suffice
(But you continued asking me heart warming questions,
Ones that gave me hope)
You asked would I ever date you if you were bisexual
(I prayed in this moment you'd tell me you were
I wanted you and this question gave me hope
yet even now I fear it to be false hope)
I said yes and you told me you weren't
(I have some questions,
Why ask if you weren't?
Would you consider me like I consider you?
Why did you hug me so long?
Why do you always hug me longer when we're alone?)
Times up and we go.**
(Leaving me more confused than ever.)

The toxic fills me and I ravish in the moment,
I watch as the blood slowly stops,
Lessening with each passing moment,
I take one long sigh of relief but something is awry,
Tears well up in my eyes as I watch my arms,
The blood a beautiful crimson red still seeping out of me,
What have I done but add another scar,
I just added another reminder to all of my exsisting pain,
We all have our reasons and mine are hidden.
I refuse to let out the monsterous stories that created me,
I tried so hard to lock up the devil in me it's already free,
Constant fear of being caught washes through my mind,
Still who would see and who would bother to care,
My demise is inevitable,
It's all dependent on time
And soon enough my time will come,
My Time Of Death.

A broken heart that does not heal
A girl permanently painted in tears
All that remains are the broken pieces
Left overs of someone that wasn't good enough
A memory in your life
One that shall fade
And to her a memory that will always ache
Abandoned by you
By hope and by everyone
Darkness consuming her in your absence
You don't really care
Even though you once made tears dry
You are now the cause
It's your lack of love
Your lack of care
Your lack of being there

Stuck in this place,
School,
Friends roam the halls,
But what do they know?
They think they know me,
But they only know the me I pretend to be ,
I tell them I'm fine,
In-fact my smile is spread so wide they finally stopped asking how I am.
But don't they see me,
Don't they look me in the eys and see how I'm dying inside,
Losing grip,
One day soon maybe even losing my life,
I'm on edge
And soon I won't be able to pretend,
But before my eyes shut,
And before My heart stops beating,
See me,
The real human being.
(Lifeless and dull,
the one who needs rescue,
Please my darling will you save me,
Just keep me from the edge of the world,
Don't let me fall off,
Just make me happy,
Just save my life,
All you have to do is know the real me,
And Still Care.)

Death has me in it's grasp
It's the ol' ball and chain
His bony fingers hold my ankle
I drag him along
He holds on
So close
So enraged
Waiting ever so paitiently
He knows I'm weak
And I'm on edge each day
he is my predator
And I his truest prey
He wants to feed on my soul
And even though I'm weak
Even though I sometimes lie awake
Asking for death to come and take me in my sleep
My heart urges me to live
Even though I'm not strong
Even though I don't want to live very long
I want life
Each day I fight my own fight
And though I do win
The battle never ends
And one day
Death will take me
One day
I will Lose.