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645 · Aug 2013
Poets
I think the reason

I've always loved poetry

Is because every poet

All these people

They go through things too

They've been hurt

Just like me

And I know even YOU

Have been hurt

I mean hasn't everyone

I think we just take it harder

We don't brush away the pain

Or hide it

We cry

And we write

And we hurt

And I think our words

Help us let some of it go

Our words set ourselves free

I've been writing since I was ten

And I've never looked back

I love poetry

And I love my fellow poets

Because even if we aren't receiving love

In our realities

We are here

Where our words

Come from the heart

And no one is jugded

Our poetry is our utopia

And we'll never forget that.
Don't worry babe just a poem that came after reading some sad poems.
645 · Jan 2013
Senseless
They try
To lure me
Back
Like I
Was so overjoyed
The first time around
I know they saw
How broken
My face looked
And I just repeat myself
Over and over
No
I can't
Because there's too much
At stake
There is no reason
Good enough
To ever go back
I just want to be with him
Cuddle close
Fearless and strong
Growing to be better
With him by my side.
I wish they
All asked permission
In the midst of their desire
I wish they had asked me
If it was what I really wanted
So that I didn't make those mistakes
Didn't let them invade me
So I could've ran like I wanted to
I do not blame anyone
But I sometimes wish
They simply asked
Before they entered my body
And left me impure
Left me unlovable
I wiped away
Their memories
But no one can ever
Wipe away my shame.
640 · Oct 2012
Game Of Death.
Death has me in it's grasp
It's the ol' ball and chain
His bony fingers hold my ankle
I drag him along
He holds on
So close
So enraged
Waiting ever so paitiently
He knows I'm weak
And I'm on edge each day
he is my predator
And I his truest prey
He wants to feed on my soul
And even though I'm weak
Even though I sometimes lie awake
Asking for death to come and take me in my sleep
My heart urges me to live
Even though I'm not strong
Even though I don't want to live very long
I want life
Each day I fight my own fight
And though I do win
The battle never ends
And one day
Death will take me
One day
I will Lose.
638 · Apr 2012
The Evil Name Haunting Me.
Your Toxic Name Flows Through Me,
The Harder I Try To Get You Out,
The More Memories Come Rushing In,
Our Memories Suffocating Me To Near Death,
Everywhere I Turn Your Name Appears,
In Books,
And Here In My Sanctuary,
I Cannot Escape You Now,
And I Have Been Trying For Three Long Years,
Your Six-Lettered Name Is A Rattle Snake That Has Bitten Me,
If I Don't Get Rid Of This Venom Soon
I Will Die
And Maybe You Will Too.
Joshua
638 · Sep 2011
Dark And Light
The Darkness once enveloped me,
The memories of my hardships haunted me,
Oh the memories,
How they made me wince and ache in pain,
Slowly the pain has faded,
Slowly the happy girl I was comes back to life,
The light begins to peak through the dark that had trapped me,
And finally I can see,
True hope,
It exists,
And it's growing in me prospering each second,
One day I believe and I hope,
The darkness will fade completely,
And hopefully the light will shine bright once more.
638 · Feb 2017
Painfully Beautiful
Everything is better with you
Movies are more intresting
Music has meaning
And even my tears
Are just a little sweeter

With you,
Life feels good,
It feels like I'm living

I love you
Maybe I always have
Or maybe I just
Keep falling in love with you
Over and over again

Either way it is the most
Painfully beautiful feeling.
636 · Jan 2013
My Shirtless Man
In a fit of lust
We lose control
But when all is done
I smile as you put your shirt back on
Realizing how good you look without it
And remembering all the days
I use to want to see you so ****
So bare
And now
After my patient waiting
I finally get to see
And I'll never get tired of looking.
636 · May 2012
Fighting Love(10W)
Yell
Scream
Argue
Explain
Listen
Hurt
Ache
And
We
Understand.
You
Are A poet
Your perfect
At wielding your lies
Of "I love you's"
Your a teenage boy
Who can lie
Straight to a persons face
You
Are now the one
Who has me hoping
Those ******* words
Aren't just ******* lies
But it's okay
Because for this battle
I came well prepared
Because I am a teenage girl
Who is also a poet
And can tell blatant lies
I'm a girl who can tease you
Until you burst
I can make you feel
Like you tried to make me feel
Like A Piece Of Crap
Let's Just See Who Wins This Time.
633 · Dec 2012
Provoke
I want
to provoke him
To the point
Where his
only option
For control
To once again
Be his
Is to take me
And ravish me
once more.
633 · Apr 2012
My Turn For Q&A
You wrapped me in your arms to keep away my tears
(Minutes passed on by and my tears began to dry
and as they did I wished they'd stay
so I could continue lavishing in your arms)
You told me we all had a purpose in life
(I wanted so badly to kiss you
to be your first and last)
Minutes ticked on by we were alone and just talking
(I told you my lonliness,
the lack of love I've felt my whole life)
You ask if I ever liked you
(Like you?! God I thought I was falling for you
Not that I could ever tell you)
I thought my yes would suffice
(But you continued asking me heart warming questions,
Ones that gave me hope)
You asked would I ever date you if you were bisexual
(I prayed in this moment you'd tell me you were
I wanted you and this question gave me hope
yet even now I fear it to be false hope)
I said yes and you told me you weren't
(I have some questions,
Why ask if you weren't?
Would you consider me like I consider you?
Why did you hug me so long?
Why do you always hug me longer when we're alone?)
Times up and we go.**
(Leaving me more confused than ever.)
632 · Sep 2011
Hidden Hope
Without you,
I've grown weak,
They don't see,
They don't understand,
how unbearable life is without you,
without the one I love,
The one that kept me safe,
And kissed me in the rain,
the one who hugged me to make me scream,
you kept the pin away,
without you the pin,
and the cat like scratches,
they turned into a blade,
and deeper cuts,
blood ridden ones,
They didn't stop me,
They watched,
Watch as I wanted my life to end,
I prayed for it,
Death,
But it never came,
then out of my weakness came hope,
I hopped I could see you again,
and slowly the urges fade,
But still evil lurks,
it roams my mind,
But still I believe it's slowly dying,
I believe happiness,
May be coming back to me,
Maybe,
Just maybe,
I hope.
632 · Feb 2012
Entrance Denied.
I have seen the want in your eyes and then I watched it dissapate,
I denied you entrance,
But granted you permission straight into my heart,
You left the girl who wanted you,
I thought you would be the kinder type,
I figured you would be there once I spoke honestly,
But like every other guy who wants one thing
You left when you couldn't have it.
632 · Apr 2012
Damn Those...
Cruelty,
Uncared for,
Loves but never loved,
Wants but never wanted,
Confused,
Love filled to the brim,
No one to love,
Left in a circle,
Left in the past,
Remember the pain,
Those who left,
Those who used,
Those who lied,
Those who just didn't give a ****.
631 · Dec 2016
I don't care
I don't care anymore
I don't care about the past
Yours or mine
I just want you
At the end of my life
I will still want you
I don't want the past
To keep me from being happy
Not anymore
You were,
No, you are my soul-mate
I don't care what anyone says
I don't care
Because all I know
Is I love and miss you.
Didn't know I still felt so strongly until I saw your picture. I faltered. My mask fell. I need you. I was never a paragon. Neither were you. We were imperfectly perfect. Always will be.
631 · Sep 2015
Hammer and Glue
With each kiss we shared
A crack was covered
A scar was healed

I always wanted to be
The glue that put you back together

But for every piece of me you fixed
I unknowingly held the hammer
That broke you.
631 · Mar 2012
Flustered
Scattered thoughts,
Incomplete sentences,
Partial ideas,
Broken words,
Unable to explain,
All that comes to mind clearly is frustration,
And I continue with it,
My mind is flustered,
So many thoughts,
So many wants,
Needs,
Desires,
So many impartial moments.
631 · Apr 2012
Girl Of Faded Memories
A broken heart that does not heal
A girl permanently painted in tears
All that remains are the broken pieces
Left overs of someone that wasn't good enough
A memory in your life
One that shall fade
And to her a memory that will always ache
Abandoned by you
By hope and by everyone
Darkness consuming her in your absence
You don't really care
Even though you once made tears dry
You are now the cause
It's your lack of love
Your lack of care
Your lack of being there
628 · Apr 2011
Glorified
I miss everything we were the glorified memories each moment i spent in your embrace,every moment i stared at your face,the kiss you placed upon my lips all of our memories keep my heart racing...
The truth is
I could never
Love someone
If they didn't
Know about
My past
I could never
Be happy with
Someone who
Doesn't know
The facts
Because if they
Don't know
Who I was
If they can't
Accept what I've done
Or been through
How can they accept me
As I am
Glad he knows and still loves me.
628 · Jan 2013
I Want You To Be Happy
Your fear
Shaking me
To my core
It derails me
I'm afraid
Not that
You want
To leave
But due to
Anxiety you
And I
Will part
For my frail
Heart cannot
Bare
To be away from you
You are
The support
I've always needed
And I'll fight
Always for you.
He's freaking out about the 5 month mark.  I just can't wait for things to go back to normal.
626 · Dec 2012
Elderly With You
I want to
Grow
Old with you
One day
I want the ability
To say
That I've
Lived most
Of my life
Married
To you.

The love of my life.

My one and only soul-mate.
624 · Mar 2013
Change In The Mirror
When I was younger
I'd look in the mirror
And just stare
See myself
My awful reflection
And tears would form
I always tried to look away
Just in time
But sometimes
There simply isn't enough time
I remember my mind would race
Race with all it's might to insult me
And yet I do not quite remember the day
That it all changed
But I do know why
You
Somehow
Someday
Without my knowledge you
Changed it
Maybe it was the fact that each day
You'd call me beautiful
Maybe it was because I finally felt loved
Or maybe
It was because I finally had happiness
Back in my life
I looked into that same mirror
And I stared
But instead of crying
I laughed
Made funny faces
Played with my hair
I thought of you
Saw your eyes gleaming back at me
And somehow
It was as though the mirror had become you
You were watching me
And I smiled
And I felt free
Everything changed with you
And for once in my life
It was  change that helped me
Rather than hurt me.
624 · Nov 2015
Thanks Porn Industry
You would tell me
You're so sorry
That you would never
Do it again

Then later that night
Click on another video

You're addicted

I am not a cure

We are lost.
624 · Mar 2014
Once upon a time
Once upon a time
I was beautiful
I was your paragon
Once upon a time
You saw passed my flaws

Now in the aftermath of what
Was suppose to be our happy ending
I see myself as less than
All the sweet caressing words
That once made my heart
Aflame with joy
Now I see the ugliness
And the complete imperfection
Of who I am
And yet it does not help
The words come back
Nothing I ever do or say
Or feel
Will ever let me get a single of those
Sweet words back.
Just saying that things aren't healing and i wish i could heal him with my words the way he use to make me happy with his.
I was only 11
When my prince
Strode up
And asked
For a dear friendship
I was intoxicated
By him
My friend
Who made
Me laugh
And smile
Made my heart swell
And break all at once
My love that was
A miniature
Explosion in my chest
Every time he'd look
Me in the eyes
My prince vanished
For quite some time
And at 15
I met my king
He proved
He wasn't that
Silly prince
Who was ashamed
Slightly more fearless
He took my hand
And I certainly don't plan
On letting go.
Horrible. Running on writers block.
624 · Oct 2011
Temporary
I hear it in the breathe they take,
Not sympathy for the tears I cry,
Only aggravation,
"My friends"
They grow angry with me,
As I watch their agitation grow I realize I might be loosing them,
I might be loosing the best thing I've had,
It's kind of sad,
Knowing friends is the greatest joy I can ever have,
But even they fade,
And the moment they do I'll be alone again,
I always seem to end up alone,
Everything seems so temporary,
And nothing I do can change that,
All good fades,
And it seems the bad over stays it's welcome,
But it stays,
It's there even through the good moments,
Waiting for the good to end and bad to begin,
But it's okay,
It's all just temporary.
623 · Apr 2014
Once Upon A Time
We're just a love story
That fell into real life.
622 · Jan 2014
Emotional
It's all emotional for me
Our hugs and kisses
Our hand holding
The way you stare into my eyes
Or kiss me all over my face

It makes me laugh
Makes me feel loved
The way our bodies entwine
Makes my soul feel awakened
As though I had been asleep before you

In your arms I feel content and happy
For me it's all emotional
The words and the actions
They all mean something
And to me they mean everything

When your near it's like the air
Becomes cleaner
Like somehow
Everything will be alright

I know things change
I know you want change
While I fear it

I know I try
As much as I can to be
The woman you want
And I know that it's you
I'm trying for

Days without you are long
And they're too many
I stare out the window
Wishing you were outside
Waiting to join me

So it's all emotional for me
Every moment I breathe
So I'm sorry if I cry
And overreact

But it's all just so very emotional
And in the end
No matter what emotion I feel
I know I love you.
621 · Aug 2012
That Crappy Stuff In Love.
I've always wanted
Love
To feel
Their hands
Entwined with mine
Needed to hear them
Whisper I love you
As we lie close
I want
To feel their lips
Brush mine
I've always dreamed
I'd belong
I'd be someones
Perfect match
Their soul-mate
Because love taught me
To believe in that "crap"
I just always wanted
To love someone
And be loved the same in return.
I had a dream last night
                                          




            ­                                                    I lost you

You ended us


                                                          Al­l I know is I broke

Knowing there could never be

                                                           Another you and me

I couldn't  do anything

                                              To escape from the nightmare

Except wake up

                               Because I can't even live in dreams


If I don't have you.
620 · Sep 2012
An Original Couple.
You carry my heart
Promised me
You'd never tear it apart
Darling you keep me whole
Always
You have a piece of my soul
You keep me from the brink
Hold me close
My only perfect link
A smile fills my chest
Oh how you feel
So unlike all the rest
We're so strange
And together
I hope that never does change
You lighten my day
And make me believe you'll stay
I love you
I don' know if it's true
But you say you love me too.
619 · Dec 2012
Please Do
I'm afarid
To run
Away
Because
I'm afraid
You won't
Chase me.
619 · Mar 2013
Tired (Useless Babble)
I'm just tired*
Tired of
Drama
Lies
Betrayl
Secrets
Waiting
I'm tired
Of my reflection
I'm tired of my shadow
And most of all I'm tired
Of not sleeping
I miss my room
My bed
My home
I'm so tired now.
618 · Oct 2016
First Loves
The pain they give you
Is equal to the love you feel.
618 · Jan 2013
Ship Wrecked On You
Enveloped
I am sometimes
Drowning in
This world
For there
Will always be
Shameful parts
Of me
Hidden things
Not even
I like to know
Or remember
About myself
I'm burying it all
In the sand
This is no treasure
No x lies on those
Memories and fragments
I've found an escape route
From this island of me
It was the ship of love
Our ships
Merging
Becoming one
Just as our souls have done
You my love
Are and always will be
My prince
My knight
My rescuer
And one day
My husband.
Made no sense. Nope. None.
618 · Apr 2011
I'll love you until....
I'll love you until the day My soul no longer lingers...
The day yours has faded away...
I'll love you until the stars die and there are no more planets...
I'll love you until the day goes dark and the night gets bright....
I'll love you until nothing is left in the universe...
I'll love you until forever is over...
I'll love you now as I will in the future...
I'll love you until I die as well as you do...
I'll love you until everything living or dead is gone....
And only our essence lingers...
I'll love always no matter what is changed or what is altered...
As long as you stay true to yourself I promise to always love you...
617 · Nov 2013
Part One Rambles
It hurts without you
And your right
We haven't
Spent time together
And I miss you
It's felt like forever
Since you last looked at me
With desire
And I miss that too
But what hurts most
Is I feel like you don't trust me
Like you down-graded me to *****
Because your friends weren't in my shoes
And I hate that
I hate that we've let other people in our minds
Because that's destroyed us too much in the past
To let it destroy all we've worked for now
I've been so indescribably upset
And every time we solve our sorrows together
Something else interferes with us
And it seems like we never win
But I never give up
And I won't now
I'm the type of person who hates change
And that means I try not to
So when I say I love you
I say it with my soul
I say it with every bit of me
And I mean it forever and always
I don't let go because I never give up
Won't you please just be happy with me.
616 · Jan 2013
Better
Nothing makes
Me happier
Than to hear
Your voice saying
*I Love You.
616 · May 2017
Gotta Live While We Can
My greatest fear
Is that one of us will die
Way too young and way too soon
And the other one will be left
Wishing that instead of wasting our time
Looking for someone else
That we had made things work
That we were meant to be but never can be
What if I don't wake up tomorrow
Will you miss me
I will miss you.
He calls me beauty
Himself the beast
But why do I feel so monsterous
For my betrayal was only
Experimentation
Yet knowing
He'd never forgive give me
No such motive to stop
And I feel I've gone too
Far
Despite how meaningless
The encounters
Still these
Horrible things
Must not be revealed
For even though he loves me
This is unforgivable
And in an instant
To soul mates can be torn apart forever
A future can come crashing down
And the truth may even end two lives
So I bare the agony of the truth
Alone
I cannot destroy this
I will not let him know
This unto my grave I shall take
For the good of myself
For and my future spouse
and even for the child we hope to create
No matter how beautiful he claims I am
I know I am a monster
Who hasn't experienced much attention
and seems to have some
But has no ability to turn it away
Even if I have everything I will ever need.
May God forgive my sins ..
It crumbles from beneath you,
You watch in both silence and fear for your world has collapsed,
Your sins are unforgiven,
The pain only surges through you.

Alone in the darkness and nothing seems right,
You watched life be taken and death be given,
You must realize that this is now your everyday life,
Breaking down and letting the world fall to infinite pieces.

It all crumbles and all your left with are the memories you've buried,
Your poor soul burned by the schorching memories,
The one person who can help is acting as the devil
And truly you are alone.

Now you cannot ignore your arrogance,
Your face to face with the worst of you because it's all you've ever seen,
Escape is unreachable for the darkness in you outweighs the light,
And still you watch as it all crumbles beneath you,
Feeling the pain and suffering,
Feeling the terror you cannot control.

You let it crumble but you don't look away for a moment in fear of any good you may miss.
613 · Sep 2015
Black and Green
My favorite colors are black and green
Which I find ironic
For me green represents life
While black death
I teeter between feeling alive and dead
It's like asking a rainbow to choose just one color
It's rainbow, it is all the colors,
I am black and green
Not one or the other
I am both.
611 · Apr 2016
And Still My Heart Is Yours
As always without you
I am a pile of withered ashes

Brokeness that can't heal
Not alone at least

As always I realize another mistake
Another flaw of mine

Another reason I have lost you
**** babe

I tried so hard not to love you
To not need you
To not miss you
But your soul
Has always been a part of mine
And even when others said you
Were completely insane
I said that your craziness was mine

**** sweetie pie
I freaking miss you
You were my best friend
And even though
You could forgive
You couldn't forget
And even though You didn't understand
You tried so hard to
And I think you knew
The contours of my soul
More than anyone ever will

Because ****** baby
You were my eclipse
Always passing through
Sometimes you'd brighten everything
Other times make it so dark
And every once in a while you
Would make it both
And it would be beautiful
We never worked
But we wanted to so badly
We fought for years
Until we quit

And I still miss your little scar
And your freckles
I miss your weird appetite
And I miss your fear
Of hugging me when I cried
I wish you were here
Because I'm a bigger mess without you

Some love stories aren't perfect
Some don't have a happy ending
I know ours didn't
But it was still amazing.
You will never see this. I'm broken. Depression is back sweetie. It always makes me miss you more.
611 · May 2014
Love, Battles and Aches
I'm tearing apart
And I don't know
What to do
Because when you
Speak more of sorrow
Than of love my heart
Stretches And aches
I fall apart again
At each moment
Thinking of your sadness
Missing the rise from the love
All I know now
Is how much I love you.
And how I can never
Let that love go
611 · Feb 2013
Tender And Close
Wrapped tight
As though
It would help
Me feel
Everything a little
Better
But it was all
*Breath-taking.
610 · Feb 2012
"I Demand More"
You,
Me,
Together?
I demand more,
****** me,
Make me yours,
Take control,
Don't let me go,
Don't walk away,
Just stay,
Just keep your smile so I can keep mine,
Never forget our tender moments,
Never regret our time

I won't.
For My "If-Only" Hushboy
610 · Aug 2016
Late Night Reveal
The worst thing she does to herself
Is talk about you like you were
Just there and everyone missed you
Like somehow your shadow
Is still standing beside her

She does this to pretend she's not alone
She does this because for seven years
Of her short life you were there
Weaving in and out
Weaving your way into her soul

And now finding anyone else
To weave into herself
Seems pretty **** impossible
So instead she thinks of you
And let's her heart ache

She has so much love
So very much
And now has no one to give it to
Just her empty memories.
610 · Mar 2016
Still Think Of You
I could never do better than your crazy ***

Here I am again

Missing you

Feeling alone

Wishing you were holding me

Kissing me

I will never know a love like ours

You will always be a wish come true

But like all good things they end

Like all those I love

You leave.
I wish you still read these.
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