At the rate we're going

I'll never have a happy ending

Never have anything I wanted

Because you always leave

This isn't a "maybe" but a "when"

I'm stupid for always coming back

For always holding on

But for nine years

I have tried to stop loving you

I have tried loving others

And none of it ever works

At eleven I believed you were
And always would be my soulmate

Now I'm scared that we are
And you'll never accept it

The question with us is
Who's being more stubborn

Am I, for loving you endlessly?
Or are you, for always breaking the heart of the person who would dedicate their life to you?

I'm scared of what the end
Will be

Because I always had a plan

I always had a picture
And you were always in it

I just worry that if you're there in the end

It'll be because I'm still chasing you

Chasing a love that can never be returned.

I feel so imperfect

Not because I don't
Like things about myself

But because I fear
You don't

To me you are more perfect
Than any words I could fathom

To me even things you call
Flaws
Are absolute perfection

So I'm scared

Because I know you don't
See me the same way

You see my flaws as flaws

And that makes me want to cry

It makes my heart clench

But then I remind myself

I still got to wake up in your bed
I still got to make love to you
I still got hugs and kisses
I still got you laying in my lap
I still have you in my life

And though your like for me
Greatly differs from my immense
And completely overwhelming love

Please know I appreciate every
Moment in your presence

But my mind
It's racing with fears

While my heart
It's ready to take a plunge
Take a chance
And just speak everything it feels.

Everything is better with you
Movies are more intresting
Music has meaning
And even my tears
Are just a little sweeter

With you,
Life feels good,
It feels like I'm living

I love you
Maybe I always have
Or maybe I just
Keep falling in love with you
Over and over again

Either way it is the most
Painfully beautiful feeling.