I lost it all a year ago:
not a lover, but
a friend,
one after another,
in domino effect.

And as this year
takes its final
curtain call,
I’ve been left
(almost nearly)
on my own
to greet
the year of
2017

As the loneliness creeps in

I feel you
Like you were somehow
Embedded into my ribs
Your name echoing around inside of me

Are you reading this?
I feel you
I always have I've just tried so hard not to

Why us my love?
Why did God give us this great love
If we always fell apart?

Parts of my brokenness still believe
I silence her in unspeakable ways

But she goes to sleep in tears because of it
I feel you
I wish it was real.

Punch**
My gut bellows

What a fool I am

To believe even for a moment
That I could look past first love

That I would stop needing him
That I would stop wanting him

First and foremost he was a friend

He didn't understand me
Not completely

Oh how he knows my soul
My truest desires

He's gone from my life
Wiped away like chalk

A faint impression left behind

How oh how could I ever tell myself

That I could find even a glimpse of happiness without him.

My relationship is
Slowly falling apart
No matter how hard I try
Things never turn out right

They tend to crumble
Then fall

I can’t keep doing this
I keep telling myself
That I am fine

But in reality I’m just
Getting by
One step
At a time

I don’t regret
My decisions
I just want things
To change

But they just haven’t
And he has known
That it has bothered me
For this long

But I am trying
To remain strong

Not going to let this lobe
Just slip away
I am not going to watch
Him walk away