i wish..

i wish to feel whole, alive again

i wish to feel your arms around me, once more

i wish you would come back to me

HE SAID MY GOD YOU ARE
PRETTY BUT MAN ARE YOU
DUMB* // YOU LET EVERYBODY
TREAT YOU LIKE A PIECE OF
GUM // HOW DOES IT FEEL TO
KNOW THAT EVERYONE //
WILL CHEW YOU RIGHT UP AND
SPIT YOU OUT WHEN THEY'RE
DONE *//

nothing can ever replace you

i'm done giving people all my effort when all i receive back is half of what i put in

black is the colour of dying love

red is the colour of bleeding love

blue is the colour of cold love

if the world wasn't blind
if the world wasn't deaf
if the world wasn't dying

maybe it would notice
it was destroying itself
maybe it would know
the only one to save
was itself

exactly what i felt
but somehow
the paper stayed empty

and i could not have
described it any better

"the night has a thousand eyes"

i don’t want to think that it is
hopeless or useless to love someone

"Tell me a lie," she whispered.




"I love you" he said.

​
as if you were
on fire
from within,
the moon lives
in the lining of your skin

its still a song that's running away in the
middle of the night to god knows where.

it's a song that's leaving to outerspace without a goodbye.

it's a song of a person walking slowly
into a lake to drown.

That was the last time I'd ever see her happy again. And the second time I lost her.

there is no one on earth,
who doesn't have a
speck of evil in them.

everyone has evil in their minds.  

no one is an angel.
no one is completely good.

we are all a mix of good and bad.
                                 good and evil.

*but sometimes doing good, isn't always good.

this brush is slipping,
so i will mouth these words,
fourteen years muted,

"i love you, Hor Chun,"
decorated in sequins, silk
and scarves of incense smoke
like the dolls in Honk Kong
windows.

reel back these strings; weave
a dress of blood silk, a veiled
headdress, a ring.

find me on the next freighter home.

"I'm used to it," she numbly says.
And that's how you knew she was broken.

i just want you to be happy

let's go in the garden


you'll find something waiting

right there where you left it

bad day
wash away
all pain
silent cry
I want to die

im a psychopath

i destroy people i like

my mother used to say,
“if it hurts, it’s working.”
whenever i got a cut,
she would dab peroxide
on the cut, healing me.

i knew he loved me deep inside,
he never told me but i know it
every time he hits me, it hurts.
but my mother was never wrong.
if it hurts, it must be working.
right? -

"the problem with someone setting your soul on fire is that you are usually left with ashes"

​
I’m doing dumb **** again
like thinking about you

if you knew
how much i
loved you,


would you
love me too?

I'm keeping my head in
       the clouds
and its not so tragic
       if i don't look down

here i am again
blasting green day
wishing it would all end

everything is wrong
nothing is right
and i don't know
what to do

its gotten to the point where ive been hurt so many times

i can say

im used to it

but out of all the people

who could have beaten me down

                                    ripped me apart

                                            made me feel less than worthy

why did it have to be
                                    you?

​
why do i have to suffer so much?

i look out at
the ocean,
listening to
the crash of
the waves.

we used to
go here; us.

we used to
go together.

you used to
say that i was
beautiful, like
the sea.  

beautiful and
mysterious.  

i listen to the
soft echoes
of small waves
crawling on
the rocks.

you took me
on my first
date here.

i watch the
sun slowly
walk down to
the horizon.

you took me
here, on our
anniversary,
and told me
that you loved
me and that
you never
wanted to be
anywhere
without me
by your side.

i look out at
the ocean,
once more.

i wish you
were here
right now.

i wish you
hadn't left.

but now
you're gone,
and i have to
imagine you
here,

next to me.

you stare at the screen,

watching as he carefully
places his hand on her cheek,

turning his head slightly
as he inches closer to her.

the girl places her hand on
his wrist, pulling him closer

he kissed
her like her lips
were air
and he couldn't

*breathe

​
the dreams are just taking hold
and they just need time

thank you
for reading
my poems

i am very
         very
happy
that you
guys did.

i can't express
how thankful
i am for you
guys, thank
you.

​
if i could fly,
i’d be coming right back home to you

ruined me

never again

​
I am drowning.
In liquor and apathy.
Will be the death of me.
But so what if I drank too much.
This ain't love, it's just a firefight.
And even if it's not enough.
I'll say it once I swear I never lied.

i'm at a payphone,
                trying to call home

     *all of my change i spent on you

                              where have the times gone,

                                        baby, it's all wrong
                       *where are the plans we made for two?

a boy saw a beautiful girl
sitting down on a bench,
looking down at something
in her small hands.

he walked up to the bench
and sat down next to her,
and said, "it's a beautiful
day, isn't it?"

the girl looked up and
quietly answered, "yes,
yes it is."

he looked at her then at
her hands and saw that
she was holding a cigarette
box.  an empty one.

he frowned then said,
"why are you staring at
an empty cigarette box?"

she turned the box and
gazed at it sadly.

this used to be owned by
someone that i once knew.

he always liked to smoke
and he always kept a pack
in his pocket.  

"what happened?" the boy asked.

the girl looked at the boy
and whispered, "he left"

you haven't cried yet
who knows when you'll get around to it

your heart is a quiver of arrows
because your heart
is a breeding ground
for death.