he's a ******* devil in my mind
but passion in my eyes.

(a.b)

You can only say
hes different around me
So many times
Before you realize you're actually trying to persuade yourself.

(a.b)

i try so hard
to be as good to you
as you are to me
or how she is to you.
but its as if you are the ocean
and i live upon all the other creatures
you fulfill all my needs and keep me going
but there is nothing i can do in return.
where as she is the sky
who supplies you with your
beautiful blue hue.

(a.b)

i've been driving
for quite some time
or miles, now

i'm not positive
if i'm metaforically speaking
or if it's reality i'm living

I could very possible
be driving to find happiness;
on the road to happily ever after
finding somewhere new and improved

or maybe i'm driving myself
in that i am pushing myself
to be the best i can be

but i am not all too sure
fore the fact that i am numb
and i can no longer feel emotion
except for the feeling of being lost

either way
i'm driving
i've been driving
and some things take time
but i'm still going and i won't stop
until i find what i am unsure of as of now

(a.b)

rarely ever will you meet someone
who doesn't lack originality
or isn't a theif of personality,
fore even the moon takes over the suns light.

(a.b)

one cut
two cut
three cut
four
cut until i am no more

five cut
six cut
seven cut
eight
starve until it looks like i never ate

nine cut
ten cut
eleven cut
twelve
grab the gun and turn to helve

thirteen cut
fourteen cut
fifteen cut
sixteen
i'm starting to forget all that i've seen

seventeen cut
eighteen cut
nineteen cut
twenty
i believe i have lived plenty

twenty-one cut
twenty-two cut
twenty-three cut
twenty-four
i am no more

(a.b)

this is to my best of friends
the only one i could trust
and the only one a goodbye is a must.

i finally decided to do the deed
and i surely hope to succeed
im sorry to have to tell you this but a goodbye was of need.

ive been all too sad you see
and to me
i couldnt deal and im sure you are to disagree.

i hope you understand
and i know this isn't so very grand
but im sorry that i will no longer be able hold your hand
and tell you youll be okay to stand.

goodbye.

(a.b)

here i sit
writing to you, my friend,
with my wrist slit.

ive finally done the deed
and a goodbye
is in much of need.

i didnt want to go
without a single goodbye
but i sat and pondered
as to who i should write to.

with the blood gushing
and thoughts slowing
your name came to mind
so now im writng and rushing.

i only have moments left
not that youd care
for you stole my heart in theft.

you had no intentions to give
it back without any wounds
so here i sit not wanting to live.

goodbye my old friend.

- a. m. b.

to have it all start as a child was a world of pain
dad in the hospital and no one to blame
therapist after therapist
i don't know how well i'll actually be missed
better he got
but i'd still been through a lot
the depression would come and go
i didn't dare to show
it was as though i was sad for nothing at all
made me weak and i began to stall
the worse i got
the more blood i had to blot
older i became
and it all stayed the same
i wish to leave this darkened place
while i still can without leaving a trace
running away was all that was left to be done
and that's exactly as i did fore the depression had won

(a.b)

it's kind of strange
when the news of a loved one passing
is less painful than the news of a loved one moving on

(a.b)

I can still feel the goose bumps lingering beneath my skin,
as well as the heat radiating from every place on my body you touched.

your voice is still clearly heard in my eardrums,
it's as if the sound never left.

a fragrance such as yours, so delightful and natural, still smothers my pillows and blankets,
I close my eyes late at night and feel as if you're there.

your lips, oh how i miss them, the taste of your lips entwined with my own was unforgettable,
yet I have somehow forgotten, it's been too long.

all of your features were a treat to any ones sight, but more so mine,
I saw your every detail as if it were a gift from god himself.

i love you, all of you.

(a.b)

your mind is elsewhere
that i can detect.
your eyes are fluttering
and your voice is utterly low.
as well as your hands- visibly shaking.
on your mind
i do not know.
but as for me
i wish it to be.

(a.b)

as i sit,
sit and wait
sit and think
sit and deprive myself of humanity,
which doesn't exist any longer,
i start to question why
why did all of this happen
why now
why me
but then i remembered,
i'm a **** up and thats why

(a.b)

you looked me in the eyes
you apologized
you call me beautiful
you called me baby
you told me you missed me
you told me you were sorry
you held me tight
you wouldn't let me go
just like my feelings for you
which have started to grow

(a.b)

i heard not a sound escape from your lips in the past few weeks
but the moment i did
i heard every word you had wished to of said
and i'm not sure if i missed the sound of your voice more so, or the words you spoke
(a.b)

craziness is the best way to describe it.

its like the building block for the upcoming dreadful emotions.

its as if your imagination knows something your heart and mind dont.

like its always a few steps or actions ahead from the rest of you.

you can hear voices from all different paths and you know one of those paths will lead you out of that before stage and back to the happyness but you also know the others will only pitchen in color and theyll close you in and there is no turning back to make the right choice.

but the part that is the craziest is i hear you voice louder then the rest.

its as if im going crazy.

it really is.

with the devils and demons and monsters pulling at the threads that hold me together trying to find that last strand.

but its almost as if someone or something is holding onto that last strand.

saving that last strand.

(a.b)