he's a ******* devil in my mind
but passion in my eyes.

(a.b)

trees in fast motion are like spirits disappearing off to where ever they're meant to be.

(a.b)

chalk on the sidewalk,
children at play,
another moment a memory,
another day put away.

(a.b)

is it wrong that when you hugged me good night i got butterflies and they haven't gone away since, is that wrong?
is it weird that i haven't seen you in a year and haven't thought about you more than three times since, but now i can't stop, is that weird?
is it unusual that i'm very very thrilled that i get to see you every morning and every night and everywhere in between for the next few weeks, is that unusual?
is it strange to say that i think i may love you, is that strange?

(a.b)

you looked me in the eyes
you apologized
you call me beautiful
you called me baby
you told me you missed me
you told me you were sorry
you held me tight
you wouldn't let me go
just like my feelings for you
which have started to grow

(a.b)

10:58 p.m.
i found out you had moved on

11:12 p.m.
i realized i hadn't

12:37 a.m.
she told me how you moved on and up her skirt

12:38 a.m.
the urges came

12:42 a.m.
i got sick to my stomach and threw up

12:50 a.m.
i called you

12:51 a.m.
you didn't answer

12:52 a.m.
i realized i had no one, no one at all

1:02 a.m.
the tears started

2:07 a.m.**
the urges took over

(a.b)

as I watched you, drift away,
further and further away.
I realized that, one day
everything will be okay.

(a.b)

your mind is elsewhere
that i can detect.
your eyes are fluttering
and your voice is utterly low.
as well as your hands- visibly shaking.
on your mind
i do not know.
but as for me
i wish it to be.

(a.b)

tears stain my face,
a smile is placed on yours.

i'm beyond repair,
you don't even care.

i text you a message to tell you i still love you,
my contact is erased from your phone.

i'm lying in my bed, dying,
you're out with your friends not even crying

i need you so bad, more than ever before,
you just want me to go away.

i grab the medicine bottles,
you grab your phone.

i take all the pills left in the container,
you try your hardest not to call me.

i call you to tell you goodbye,
you forward the message, too afraid to answer.

i'm finally gone,
and you listened to the message too late.

(a.b)

to have it all start as a child was a world of pain
dad in the hospital and no one to blame
therapist after therapist
i don't know how well i'll actually be missed
better he got
but i'd still been through a lot
the depression would come and go
i didn't dare to show
it was as though i was sad for nothing at all
made me weak and i began to stall
the worse i got
the more blood i had to blot
older i became
and it all stayed the same
i wish to leave this darkened place
while i still can without leaving a trace
running away was all that was left to be done
and that's exactly as i did fore the depression had won

(a.b)

love is nothing but a word
in this world of pain
that we're loving together
hopefully forever

pain is nothing but an obstacle
in this world of hate
that we're living together
hopefully forever

hate is just another spiteful action
in this world of death
that we're living together
hopefully forever

death is just a must
in this world of truth
we're living together
hopefully forever

truth is just another voice we choose to ignore
in this work of lies
that we're living together
hopefully forever

and in the end you realize
there was no forever
but only hope and love

(a.b)

i've been driving
for quite some time
or miles, now

i'm not positive
if i'm metaforically speaking
or if it's reality i'm living

I could very possible
be driving to find happiness;
on the road to happily ever after
finding somewhere new and improved

or maybe i'm driving myself
in that i am pushing myself
to be the best i can be

but i am not all too sure
fore the fact that i am numb
and i can no longer feel emotion
except for the feeling of being lost

either way
i'm driving
i've been driving
and some things take time
but i'm still going and i won't stop
until i find what i am unsure of as of now

(a.b)

rarely ever will you meet someone
who doesn't lack originality
or isn't a theif of personality,
fore even the moon takes over the suns light.

(a.b)

you are two different people
whereas i am the stars.
you're always going back and forth between being the sun and the moon.
but whenever you are the sun i seem to fade away.
im still there, but its as if im invisible.  

(a.b)

the sun;
it rises
it lowers
and it has it's light stolen
from the moon.
of all of them
you'd never think it
to be
the moon
to do such a thing.
steal ones light
and takes it's fame
fore with the moon comes
sadness and there is more
sadness than there is joy.

(a.b)

i heard not a sound escape from your lips in the past few weeks
but the moment i did
i heard every word you had wished to of said
and i'm not sure if i missed the sound of your voice more so, or the words you spoke
(a.b)

craziness is the best way to describe it.

its like the building block for the upcoming dreadful emotions.

its as if your imagination knows something your heart and mind dont.

like its always a few steps or actions ahead from the rest of you.

you can hear voices from all different paths and you know one of those paths will lead you out of that before stage and back to the happyness but you also know the others will only pitchen in color and theyll close you in and there is no turning back to make the right choice.

but the part that is the craziest is i hear you voice louder then the rest.

its as if im going crazy.

it really is.

with the devils and demons and monsters pulling at the threads that hold me together trying to find that last strand.

but its almost as if someone or something is holding onto that last strand.

saving that last strand.

(a.b)