Girl,you're pretty
Now stop starving
just to be skinny

Girl, you're beautiful
Nothing can get down
Now eat that meal till your tummy's full

Girl, your life is precious
Don't risk it like this.
Walk with your head held high
And look at the positive things

Girl, I know it's hard
Near relapses, family
and your inner war
Learn to stay strong
Ignore their taunts.

Girl, remember you're beautiful
Someday someone's going to love you
and fade all of your blues.

Girl, you're you
With your talents
and dimensions
Those models on cover pages will never be you

1)
I have long wondered
of the tri- in trickery
(those of you privy
to the arcane secrets of etymology
will know
tri- is three, as in trinity
and triple and trivium)
and so I have many aeons meditated
on the 3 in trickery

2)
and recently
on a trip (what’s the 3 in trip?)
to the University
of Matters Ancient and Abstruse
I uncovered this manuscript
that reveals all the 3 in Trickery:

“It behooves him who will master Trickery
to attach himself to a Teacher
so he may be Trained
(which is the first of the 3)

And so he may be Trimmed in thought
to focus on the act entirely
(thus the second of the 3)

And last comes the Treat
wherein the thief Treats himself
to the victim’s property;
and thus in these 3 stages
do the cunning ever shift
into their own pockets
that which belongs to the unwary”

3)
And thus, dear readers, was the mystery
of the 3 in trickery
resolved for me
as I hope it is for you;
but you might now want to see
if the money is still in your digital wallet
for - keeping you distracted,
and unknown to you  -
I have just practiced all 3 in Trickery

then I tried the stage
me an actor, the thespian  
(Shakespearean, Greek tragedian
you know)
"Man and the arms I sing" - like that -
and so the director told me
I'd come on stage left,
a dramatic moment
amidst full sound effects
(and full house, of course)
and I would proclaim:
"O ye Gods, and O ye elements
and O ye thunder - rage on, rage on
for I fear not"

and I so galloped on stage
amidst full sound effects
(and full house, of course)
but I was confused by the sudden
and raging thunder above my head
and I proclaimed instead:
"What the **** was that?"


*And so ended my stage career
as it began
with a bang

The family bought the lie-catcher robot
(yep, the lcr HDX134)
and it was the boy
who was caught first
when his dad asked him
where he'd been all day
and he replied:
"I've been at the library all day, dad"
lcr HDX134 slapped the boy

The dad went berserk
and he said to his son:
"When I was your age, Tim -
I never told a lie!"
lcr HDX134 slapped the dad

And the boy's mom said:
"Don't be too harsh on Tim -
he's bound to tell lies;
after all, he's your son"
lcr HDX134  slapped the mom

Dear Algebra Teacher -
stop asking us to find
your X
We can’t help you
if you mess it up

Next time, treat your partner nice
so you don’t have
to bring your personal problems
to class

So stop asking us to find your X;
we don’t know if you’ll ever find her
and we got a feeling your X
is never coming back
and really -  before you ask -
we don’t know Y either

it is written in the Olde Booke of Life
that when the Lion went unto the wild
to have its fill, when first it felt Hunger
the King of Beasts saw two creatures:
a human, under a tree, reading a book;
and a human, under a tree, writing a book
and the Lion ate the reader
for its inner voice told the King of Beasts:
"Eat the reader - for that is digestible;
but partake not of the writer
for it is susceptible to cramps
and worse, may cause a block"

And since then hath the Lion
lived in this wisdom:
*Eat of the reader, never of the writer

1)
How many writers, asked a friend
(with a cheeky twinkle in his eye)
does it take to change a light bulb?

That's a dim-wit's question, I said
You should ask:
How many times will a writer
change the same light bulb?


2)
My non-writer friend
(his twinkle now dull, then dead)
scratched his head
and to enlighten him I shed some  light
on the subject:
A writer edits and changes
their work many times
to get it perfect;
and so the same thing happens
when you make a writer change the bulb

No, my friend did not appreciate
the illumination