try to feel something
for me tonight
i forgot how you
glittered in the sky
the brightest light
for a moment
broke through your eyes

i’ll talk to you about trees
and how you want to live in greece
i would probably do most anything
for you to feel something
and boy, if you do
would you please
spare some for me too

Pain is considered an enemy
One we should all avoid
( Physical, mental or emotional ).
Yet in doing so you call for man to avoid pain by walking towards its opposite . Pleasure .
A generation founded on pleasure will often reflect shallowness and little to no self control  .
Why then is pain an enemy ?
Perhaps it seems that pain is the precursor to knowledge.  For in everything, we learn most through pain . Even the seed screams as it bursts open .
The muscle grows only after tearing .
The mind expands only after the destruction of old misconceptions.
Perhaps it is not pain that is the enemy .
But knowledge.  
To create a society of ignorance .
It takes pain to see passed this ignorance.  So the question becomes . What is pain to you ?
An enemy .
Or respected opportunity.
Holding meaning as apposed to loss.
Strength as apposed to weakness.
And compassion as apposed to fear.
How can you know that pain is the path to betterment if you avoid the path of pain in its entirety .
Choose your paths not by what you are told  .
But by what is right and gives to you
(beneficial) .

Sometimes I think of killing myself
How the end would be so nice
How the darkness would swallow me up
And how the numbness would suffice
My need

For all the voices of the feelings
That constantly keep me reeling
To softly slow to a hush
As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush

How wonderful it would be
To have that powerful silence
Not even grasshoppers would bother
To wake me

My cells would stop dividing
My brain would stop the lying
Myself would stop denying
What I truly want

But but but
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude one’s own reality

Because as I sit here on the floor
Tears drip drip dropping
I realize there’s those who care for me more
Cherish me more
Love me more
Than I love my own self

The crickets chirp
I put the pills down

They tell us to be brighter than the darkness that surrounds us
But what of the ever encroaching darkness that lies just within?

Depression is the gateway drug

Because I'll try anything
Absolutely anything
To make this feeling stop

You ever just eat a piece of chocolate and suddenly realise
They never loved you
And you don’t know what you’re doing with your life?
Do you ever just look out the window on a beautiful day
And want to disappear, and not spoil the morning’s beauty?
Ever walk your dog and wonder if everyone knows you’re a pretender?
Have you ever been reading a book and think maybe you should get help?
Ever been feeding the birds and notice maybe you aren’t a waste of space?

Yes, we are angry.Yes, we are upset.
We are upset because it was unacceptable.
We are angry because we have been treated unfairly.
We have the right to be.

I have shed thousands of skins,
My bones have grown and matured,
My brain is slow but wiser,
But, I am the same within,
A special branded piece.
20/11/2020