This year was good but shouldve been better countless hours of doubt and regret
Keep focusing on being better trying to forget
Watching myself be consumed by new bd habit doing things I thought id never do but changing it up is part of it.
Watching my fave movies doing what I love is hard distracted by troublesome thoughts
Id like to go back make them right but life is about going forward
Hard to be strong when weakness gives you false confidence
Growing everyday not looking for a reason to stay
You found an escape route thinking you left me down and out
Time for a change move on turn the page

I rolled over this morning and you weren't there.
Not even the scent of you remains.
Yesterday I was admiring and stroking your hair.
Why you walked out I can't explain.

I lumber down the steps in a jilted lovers daze
Hoping to see your smiling face.
Instead I see a darkened room with a guilty haze.
Your love is something I can't replace.

I start my car and the sad music begins to play.
A heart stabbing melody surrounds me.
I begin to feel dizzy and my head begins to sway.
The tears stream down my face so free.

I drive my car around to clear my aching head.
When I spot you holding another mans hand.
The feelings that overcome me make me feel dead.
I would rather writhe skinless in the gritty sand.

There's no reason to go on with my miserable life.
If I can't have you then I don't want anything.
And just to think I was going to ask you to be my wife.
What in the hell am I going to do with this ring?

I've been often asked if I believe in an immortal being.
Will I burn in the fire or fly with the angels that are singing.
It's a question that I've rolled around in my troubled mind.  
But I've found that thinking makes the answer hard to find.

Instead I've concerned myself with today and the moment.
I observe the things around me that make life oh so potent.
So here's what I'm going to do with the rest of the story.
I'm going to reminisce about the things that show his glory.

I've been lucky enough to be blessed with kids and wife.
And except for some bumps and bruises a healthy life.
There's a roof overhead and there's food on the table.
And I live in a country that's not war torn but quite stable.

When I pause for a moment and quietly observe natures scene
I know in my heart that it's no accident that it's so serene.
Are we just lucky to find ourselves on the planet of blue.
It's not really a question I can answer you'll have to ask you.

But I will have to concede that the the truth is unknown.
Science tells me that there's no one sitting on the throne.
We are all a cosmic accident that began with a boom.
And at the end of our lives we head for a darkened room.

But let's circle back to the original provoking query.
As you probably guess I have my own thoughts and theories
So if you placed a gun to my head and made me guess.
I would close my eyes and mumble a definitive maybe yes.

Everyone who cared left.
The people who I loved the most
Just walked right out the door.
I've been alone for far too long now,
So much pain and anger inside.
All I want is one person
Who can help me make it out alive.
Over and over again
I tell myself I should just disappear.
Wouldn't the world be better off
With one less soul to heal?

© 2013 Rebekah Fleck. Legally Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Registration #: EOKT-BUQA-DNMF-7Y5W

I stare at you across the room,
Just sitting there.
The look on your face is peaceful,
And ever so still.

I sit here
And I think about us;
Everything we've been through.
I want to walk away,
And leave you and the memories behind.
But I know that never works
Because I've tried it a thousand times.

We swore we'd be friends until we died;
That no matter what happened
We would find our way back to each other.

I stare at you across the room,
Knowing what I have to do.
In order to move on
I have to let go of the memories
And you.

© 2013 Rebekah Fleck. Legally Copyrighted, all rights reserved. Registration #: GGXY-6PF1-SXPC-IFO2