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<3
natalee Sep 2021
<3
you’re my 6am
and evening thoughts
no matter my plans
it’s you i want
so let’s slip away
behind closed doors
say my name
and i’ll be yours
natalee Feb 2019
i don’t know how to write anymore
no words
come to my head other than i miss you
it’s all been said before
poems have been written
songs have been played
no wishes can be granted for this broken heart to go away
all i ask is for this baggage to be lifted off my shoulders
no one taught me how to let go
i cling to our memories like my life depends on it
i don’t know how to be me without you because i thought it would always be us in the end
but you left me crying in my room that one october stripped of my self worth
now every time i think
i’m getting better
i look in the mirror and see those blue eyes you said you loved and can’t help but think that’s the last thing you saw before you decided to leave me
#88
natalee Mar 2019
#88
i learn ways to enjoy life without you
i’ve stopped putting creamer in my coffee
the dark brew reminds me of your eyes
i run every morning
my shortness of breath
reminds me of your name
i spend more time reading
our love had me at a loss for words
you taught me to appreciate life more
because some things cannot stay
i’m starting to pick up new habits, but you’re still stuck in my old ways
natalee Jan 2019
it’s been forever
but it feels like yesterday
i think of you in the simplest of ways
i got takeout today and my order number was 12
i know you can’t be with me
but somehow you still manage to stick around
natalee Jan 2022
i was so excited
to start something new
then you took my heart
and turned it back to blue
natalee Oct 2017
i thought i was done crying myself to sleep
natalee Sep 2018
it’s been too long for me to still feel this way
you put a spell on my heart
now all i do is pray
that you’ll come back and we’ll never part
natalee Feb 2022
curly hair, sweet laughter, and
honey filled eyes
id risk it all for you, if just given the time
natalee Apr 2019
bruised by being used
to me it’s nothing new
you’re all i had to lose
now i’m left without a clue
natalee Mar 2018
you were not the first girl i’ve ever loved, or the last one
that thought brings back color to my eyes
let’s keep it this way my love
you staying there
and me over here
not talking, not looking, so maybe this time i can forget the way your laughs sounds, the way your lips curl in when you’re trying to focus, the way you hurt me
it’s in the past now
it’s time to forget
i do wish i could’ve loved you forever
natalee Apr 2019
you’ve caught my eye
and have my ear
i’m willing to listen
whenever you’re near
i hope we have a chance
for our lips to meet
you make my cheeks red
and heart skip a beat
natalee Sep 2021
when August came….
you expected gentle freckles
and sweet lemonade,
the morning solstice
and warm summer days

but August came,
and August went,
she brought you pain
and a heart to mend
natalee Apr 2018
i think of you less and less each day
i’m okay with going our separate ways
natalee Jul 2019
my mother asks me about my relationships
i tell her what doesn’t fit
how my heart sits
how every person just isn’t it
most of my relationships end in failure
she asks me why, and scolds my behavior
how can she not tell
i learn from what i see
all throughout my childhood
and how it’s passed down to me
natalee Feb 2022
bedridden by the thought of you,
i’m forced to sleep and fall into dreams of
what i wish could happen between us,
but for now i’ll write you poetry
steal your hand for a drunken dance
and walk you home,
asking for
nothing more
natalee Oct 2021
just let me catch my breath
it’s been 22 years and i haven’t been able to keep down a morning breakfast yet
it’s been so long,
i now address you as my friend but please anxiety, stop following me to bed
a lullaby of all our mistakes
the morning birds scream in my face
can i just have one day to myself?
free of anxiety and everything else
natalee Mar 2022
you’re the reason i eat burnt toast in the morning
drink cold coffee
and forget to tie my shoes
natalee Apr 2018
i used to always stare at you
sometimes too long, so beautiful you would have to tell me to rest my eyes
now i can’t even look at you
natalee Sep 2018
when will i figure out that me and you can never be together.
i’m a scorpio and you’re an aries anyway.
our love was something you could never measure.
but i’ll still play our song and pretend to dance and steal your heart away.
natalee Jul 2017
"do you ever get lonely?"
yeah...
do you?
"yeah..."
...i'll always be here yanno
"yeah, but you're not a boy"



she told me that over a year ago
it still keeps me up at night
natalee Mar 2018
you don’t need to love every person who comes along and actually treats you right, just let them be and do what they do, and let them move throughout your life, even if they leave
you’re not sure what i’m saying but it makes sense to me
natalee Sep 2017
the words
i love you
don't sit well on my tongue
are they mine to say anyway
why doesn't it feel
the same as loving her
you're better
much better
i think i was stuck on the
chase
chase
chase
i was never good at running anyway
so maybe the i love you's
are meant to stay
and be okay
i think i love you
anyway
natalee Jan 2022
blue as the ocean
from the inside out
it’s hurts so bad
to try and love myself
i’ve gotten used to being sad
with tear filled eyes
i’m starting to appreciate
how it turns them to a
gentle shade of blue
natalee Oct 2018
a candid smile
what was going through my head?
hadn't drank in a while,
my face hot and red
that in-between state of normal
with a little bit of regret
didn't act very formal
kept thinking things i will never forget
natalee Apr 2018
it’s a different kind of sad
not a sad i miss you
not a sad where i can’t let you go
it’s a different kind of sad
a sad like what if everyone i meet gets bored of me
a sad that makes you wonder if you’re too hard to love
a sad where you gave too much and you wonder if you’ll ever get that back
a sad where no one understands
a sad that leaves you asking why
a sad where you never feel yourself in your own home
a sad where you don’t have a home
a sad that you keep getting lost in
and wonder through alone
natalee Jul 2017
i'm sorry kid but you'll always have those simmering coals that remind you of her deep down in your heart
natalee Oct 2021
how embarrassing it is to have feelings
i don’t want them anymore
take them away
leave me beside
there’s no room left
in my jumbled up life
so take my thoughts,
my feelings,
my pride,
and leave me alone
with you in my mind
natalee Mar 2018
i remember my last heartbreak
it’s hard to forget
it made my body ache
though it was all in my head
now here i am again
my heart feeling the same
i can feel myself caving in
trying to stay sane
i question if it gets easier
not feeling this way
it hits me like a meteor
will it ever go away?
natalee Jul 2017
how is it that
hearing your name
hurts.
hours i've spent
hand writing your initial
H
hoping one day
holding you in my heart for so long
happens to make things real.
honestly, you don't even know me
hardly even met
however, my soul yearns
humming your name
her
natalee Jul 2017
fireworks,
that's how you explained it
when we kissed
such beautiful sparks
set us free

every year
july 4th
your family
celebrated our freedom
with fireworks too

you told me
they asked which color
you wanted to be the
finale
this time you chose
blue

you told me
it was like the
blue in my eyes
that you couldn't get enough of

now
there's no longer
us
just the
boom
of the
fireworks
and the breaking
of my
heart

i should've known
he had
blue eyes
too
natalee Mar 2018
i wish i could write a poem about how much i love books and how they let me escape to some place else where i don’t have to be me anymore but all i can say is you should read them too and hope you will love them like i always do
natalee Aug 2017
oh boy
with long hair
and a wild mind
he was always there
never hard to find
he called me lotus flower
always okay,
even if there were stormy showers
and something didn't go my way
i keep listening to his music
in hopes that he wrote it for me
he cured my sick
and set me free
i miss you
natalee Mar 2018
reckless behavior
that’s what it is
there’s no way to save her
there’s no way to win
she does what she wants
no care in the world
she’s never loved once
she takes, like a *****
she’ll drop you so fast
no need to commit
don’t ever look back
she’s just a ******* hypocrite
natalee Oct 2021
let’s go back to the night we were torn from each other
let’s follow the signs the universe showed us to avoid such depressing events
i think back to that time and know how our love could have survived if we weren’t so young and reckless
as i mature and grow, i’ve learned it wasn’t our fault
our love was pure but the world could never accept us, and sometimes still won’t
so when i dream of you and i, do you see me in yours too?
i still have my dreamcatcher we shared
and it’s always latching on to you…
natalee May 2019
the drop of my stomach
the ache in my heart
unexpected words leave me feeling worlds apart
i ask myself questions i can’t bare to know the answer
i ponder my worth, comparing our genders
i ******* hate rhyming, because it sounds too simple
when i’m trying to express the dark thoughts of my mental
natalee Jul 2017
“it’s amazing what you can do”

she talks as if i have magical powers,

so why won’t she let me save her?

be my beauty and i can tame your beast

i have enough love for
the both of us
she was telling me how she saw the new beauty and the beast today
natalee Apr 2019
i failed my exam
and cried all day

i don’t know who



     i called out her name

she took my hand
said we both felt the same

i love you with all i am
natalee Mar 2018
her eyes were never the color of my coffee that started my day
they were never the shade of honey when the light found them
never that rushing color of falling leaves in the middle of autumn that made you hope for something special
they were never all the things i found in them, comparing each fleck of color to something beautiful
after all, they were just brown
you will accept that you cannot romanticize the past. you can’t paint a picture you will wish you never let go of. she hurt you. she would’ve tried if she loved you so
natalee Apr 2019
the black ink smeared by tear drops on my paper reminds me of the sky the day your parents told me i was the reason they cried in the shower at night
natalee Apr 2018
we are not the same
i am the first flower you pick during spring
you are the first fallen leaf at the beginning of autumn
i am the sun to which provides the light
you are the moon playing with the dark
i am the lit candle, my flame dancing
you are the gust of wind, stirring my smoke
i am the colorful laughter of joy
you are the heavy tear of happiness
you will find beauty in these things we encompass, but accept that we were two different universes trying to exist within another
natalee Apr 2018
we still pass each other in the hallway and
stare for too long
we both can’t help but smile
i’m left with the thought of what could’ve happened between us
i truly thought you were the one
***
natalee Nov 2018
why do i still have nights,
crying myself to sleep,
i can’t escape the thoughts of you and me
natalee Dec 2018
that little symbol
with the three curls
means the entire world to me
just like that girl

this tiny little rainbow
represents where i stand
it lets the world know
i love who i am

this permanent mark
is with me forever
it’s a part of my heart
and allows me to love whoever

Love is Love
that’s how i live
i think that’s enough
for me to give

no matter the gender,
sexuality,
or race
Love is for everyone
and can’t be erased

so follow your heart
no matter the direction
become who you are
and show some affection
natalee Jul 2021
i break my own heart
texting you back
i know you don’t want me
but look where i’m at
baby i’m so lonely
and besides
you always reply back
natalee Dec 2018
every time i see you i have to start over
stop
reset
then press play
people say you’re a glitch in my system
corrupted my mind and wasted my time so i try and go back to the way things were before me and you
but i don’t know any other way
i’m sad
and want you back
so instead i press replay
natalee Jun 2017
my heart aches for her

just as my teeth do every night

i click in my retainer

of course, i can’t
even keep my teeth
 straight

i think about her and

wish what we had was
special

then i take out my retainer

because i remember the gap

between her teeth

is something
special
my first one i feel proud of
natalee Jul 2017
as i search for some hope

my place in the school library

she speaks

“are you looking for anything in particular?”

i wish i could answer truthfully

two reasons

in reality she was my answer

but she doesn’t know

her brown eyes give me hope
natalee Jun 2017
how do i become infatuated so easily?

one by one

i fall

into a never
ending

never mending

cycle
natalee May 22
She paints me as a dream even as I see my flaws beneath the decorated canvas
Shes plays my heart, string for string and I might have thought she had been playing all her life
Love wasn’t something I knew before her, it’s like I was living in grey scale and she was the first thing I saw in color
The other day I saw a red bird perched on my balcony
I thought to text her and tell her in that moment I knew
I didn’t believe in signs from God until I saw her and then they started appearing at my door to sing me good morning
For a while I was convinced there wasn’t anyone who could know me like this
My heart is a sink full of ***** dishes I always distract myself from cleaning, but she listens
I’m not much of a love poet, but if I were to decide to write about love,
it would be about her
natalee Aug 2017
sometimes,
i write for myself
sometimes,
i write for people
all the time,
it's about
you
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