dancer of the clouds,
ink of dream,
as if the sky, hushed
and utterly forlorn,
turned a pirouette.

Muddled thought, I tried to mend.
Unanswered questions, I cannot comprehend.
Poor heart was loaded with burdens;
feels like these took my haven.

I wondered the steps I'm still going to take.
Asked myself if this is for my own sake.
Cried out my vivid feeling;
hope that God was listening.

Filthy desire of freedom wanted to burst out,
before this heart's hope burnt out.
Time came when I wanted to disappear;
my soul was swollen with fear.

Days and weeks passed by;
a part of me was waiting for a lullaby.
I was hoping to filled this emptiness,
There might someone who couldn't careless.

I was trying to cope this feeling alone.
Wanted to go back in my comfort zone.
Eventually this tired heart surrendered.
Longed to God for me to be spurred.

One day, as the breeze touched my skin,
looking at the people whom to me were akin.
And as the sun glint onto my body,
I just suddenly perceived the love of the Almighty.

I presumed that this was the changed,
when I finally decided my struggles to be laid.
This was the reason why my soul was awaken.
He heard my bawl; carried all my burdens.

God brought my feet again on the track,
No worries for I know He got my back.
This tired heart finds rest on His arm,
Assuming this cold spirit will finally be given warm.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.


translated by W.S. Merwin

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"