let me live in a world
where we're going the same place
and the likes of you
don't scramble over the skeletons
of the dreams that I put to bed

let me live in a world
where you want to touch my skin
like i just want to see you
person to person
in this world we've got

it's all i've got you know
you
you're my biggest achievement
i'm proud of you because I can't be proud of myself

I've left a lot behind you know, and it feels like decades
it's only been a year
but there's parts of myself that i'm not sure I want to share anymore.

I put me on a shelf
behind statues and chipped clay pots
I pretend I want to get out
i'm unhappy where I am
but it's warm here
it's dry here
but my time is running out

lose everything
gain nothing
it's all the same when I feel like this

I don't know if it's because it's almost been a year
but I might be feeling worse than ever
but I can't find pieces to fit together anymore
I want to see you
because you make a lot of the pieces fit
i'm not sure if it's from bending and twisting the pieces
but i'm not so much pieces of a bigger puzzle
i'm more of a speck of dust floating in your universe

I want to tell you how I feel
but i'm not quite sure how I feel
and that's terrifying

**** this hurts
******* hell
I'm so sad
and I don't even have the words to tell you
all I do is choke
because I think you'll think me less for thinking it
please just kiss me
please just **** me
I don't want anything
I want everything
I just want you

You wanna be famous
i'm not sure if I wanna be alive
I see what you've got
when it's not just me and you
I like you better when i've got you
even if it's just between my words
when I want your head between my thighs
your lip between my lips
and your thumb digging the hollow of my throat
you're too shiny for everyone else
you don't smile with your eyes
I'd rather you choke me than kiss another girl
I hope at your wedding night
you'll come running to me and tell me you've always had it wrong
I feel right around you
like i'm bearable and maybe even likeable
but as soon as it goes wrong
I'm breathing hard in the front seat of my car
until my head is spinning
gripping the wheel with white knuckles
I've got you manipulated and I hate it
sorry, it's a gemini thing.
I told you I wasn't in love with you
and I'm not
it's just that my mouth is full of things I can't say
because I can't put how I feel about you into words
it's not any more or less
it's just different
I recognise a look when people have fallen for you
it's part flustered
part heart eyes
and I feel like you see it on every face you meet
it's on mine too but you're reading it wrong
I don't want you to buy me gifts and tell me you love me
I want you to slap me hard and **** me on the floor
I want you to pull my hair and scream my name
I want you to text me 'good morning, thinking about you'
every day
but to not pay attention to me when we go out
until you push me up against the wall and hold my hips until they bruise
at 2am in front of everyone we know
teeth working my lips until they bleed
you wanna be famous
me too
I'm not sure if I wanna be alive
but i'll stick around for you

they say you're terrifying scorpio
I think you're stagnant
and not in the mouldy water way
you're a mountain
always there
looming above

they say you're intense scorpio
and i know you love intensely
and hate intensely
and find nothing in between
you're ongoing
and everything
pulling the world towards you

you're not mine scorpio
and I don't know if I want you to be
but I think we'd work

born with the moon in scorpio I was
and i'm a little bit you
and i'm not sure if it's that
or that i'm a little bit not you
that makes this a fire *******

You're definitely a fire scorpio
even though they say you're water
I'm an air sign
even though I know i'm earth

I guess in another world you'd set fire to me
but in this world I'm only rippling your surface
bubbling up to the top of you
and you can't bother to set me alight

it's okay though
we're a firecracker either way

The only good place to sit at mcdonalds was under the aircon
I got extra ice in my drink before I knew
it's warm outside but freezing inside
lucky I grabbed my jumper
my hands are freezing and i'm alone
every day is a bit like this
different place, different air and different food
but my hands are always freezing
and i'm always alone.

and even though
most days you've made me want to rip the skin right off my face
on a daily basis, tore me apart from the inside
when I see you in that shirt
you know that one, the shirt
I remember what it was like before you picked out my organs and re arranged them, smushed them back into place
when you smile I stupidly feel like it could happen.. you and me
but then i remember that I couldn't even bear to tolerate you
not when you've made me like this
not for another time
not now and not ever
no matter how nice that shirt is and no matter how many smiles you give out
not when the words that dripped out of that filthy mouth poisoned everything
it's debilitating, living knowing the things that you've said
it's also debilitating
knowing that I could never love you nor let you go.

"Suddenly, every song was about you."
-loving you in six words

but it works for people you don't love too
Like the boy who ****** you then didn't text you back, that same boy who called you ugly and fat and gross and all of those words that no one dared to say to you before.

Every song that you sing is about him, any song on every subject, but especially that one
'as long as he needs me' resonated everywhere
in the places on your body that hadn't been touched since he said he thought about you every day.

Even the other boys you kiss in acting class, they're him.
They're him because he's the only boy who never let you kiss him, and not physically, in the way that when you kissed him you knew he felt nothing like every other boy, less feeling than the gay boys you kissed in a game of spin the bottle.

you don't know what you are to him, but you know he's every song and every boy to you.