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I am haunted:
Not by poltergeist,
but by my unlived lives.
Parallel universes
won't ever speak,
they took an oath
to keep from me.
I have words and voices
humming in my head
that will never be met
outside of my bed.
I have to accept
I cannot have it all,
I have to accept
knowing nothing at all.
 Oct 2020 vivian cloudy
Man  of twine and brimstone
Heart and Eyes search for home
Found! Found! A cave Alone
Cool and damp and Safe from heat

Filled with Berries; wine to ease
Ivy grown thick, grown to please
From both vines a lady breathes
"Give me you, I'll give home"

Man alone never knows
By his throat a thorn-ed rose
Drink to fill, she overflows
Cool and Vines and Far and She

Away! Away! City teems
Loud and Hot and Dry and Bleed
Oh so far away from he
Cave of Dreams; sleeps alone

Vined cave begins to moan
Song of Songs; Song of Home
Deeper come, Deeper glows
It sings to him, from the Deep

He can't, He won't try to see
The Cave - it's depths, can't glow sweet
The Song, The Vines, Cold - it sweeps
Further Deep, down alone

Cities Light, far it shone
Cities Rage, welcomed tone
Not Eyes, Nor Ears Yet Bone
Remembers alone the streets

Remembers alone the heat
The Laughter, the Bleed, the Screams, Dreams of Brothers, Mothers, Flowers, Turrets and hubbub, cobblestone and smiles, snarls and color, teeth and smirks, scent of sweat, sweat of Earth - to move, Bone alone remembers.
Embers die and flame grows

Man is cut, two roads shown
Song of Cave, Dead alone
Song of Heat, Colored Stone
There he sits and waits for breeze

To push him where, "Where?!" he pleads
No breeze comes, he sits at ease
Waiting, waiting, the vines reach
Waiting, the vines vine grows

And covers the man slow
Pulls and Pulls him deep, low
Where the lie of the glow
Where the cold and vine is free

Thick, Gnarled, Thorned and Twisting
Green but blind, damp - the frost seethes
Kneecap snaps upon stone slants
Screams turn song - echoes ode

And the eyes bleed to hope
Teeth Gnash indifferent-bone
Cave's Belly filled once more
And the city teems, it's more...

It's so much more...
sat up high
away from the clatter of plates
and the brisk business of living
trying to perch
balancing between two moments
and sifting through memories
summoning them
through the little details
why are they always near the floor?
from the pauses, perhaps
where I've looked down
or childhood's elbows and knees
colouring in with arcs of the wrist
until the fragile paper bleeds
where the sea and the land
touch each other
  gently with the sand
  rough with the spray
the gifts they give the other
secreted away
  mermaid's purses
  turtle's eggs
where the sea and the sky
touch each other
  pink with the sunset
  white with the moon
there is no trace
of their embrace
  promised treasures
  sunken tombs
The rain is falling from the skies
It’s not that you were heaven sent; you weren’t, me neither
We have faults enough it’s true but when I’m feeling blue
I believe in the value of we two although I see sadness in your eyes
Is it wise to disguise the memories of the pain?
Or is it good to talk together, override the stormy weather
Walk headlong through the thunder, hand in hand
Until the wonder of our lives dispels the falling rain
And we say what the hell, making sunshine out of showers,
Reviving happy hours that we shared, because we cared,
Still you are here where you remain
My rainbow shining through the sun,
The storm was fierce, and now it’s done
If you weren’t heaven sent then I think that you were lent
And our lives together
Must be meant
 Oct 2020 vivian cloudy
Ink spilt on a page
gut feelings love and doubt
butterfly effect
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