My nightmares are your dreams, my happiness,
your screams
It's all to me, as it seems, bloodstreams and lightning beams.
A river of red rubies tears its way through my veins,
Did you really think,we'll ever be the same?
On and on we go,playing the same game,
tearing ourselves apart into shreds of pain
How could such beautiful eyes be so shattered,
When my torn up soul,never even mattered
When it was ripped to pieces on the ground, splattered
...and oh my you say, you feel flattered?
Cut me down, watch me bleed
Tell me now, was this everything you need?
Let me fall,take the lead
Drain me out,start to feed
Just to fill your loathing greed.
My misery wasn't enough,to fill a gaping hole?
Take my heart and bury it in your ******* soul.
Take it or leave it, it's burned inside out,
trust me dear..all you have is drought
So go ahead and break it and lose it all
Lose the last thing,
-your self control.
Don't be so harsh on my sanity,
you once used to worship my vanity.
Take a look inside, just don't touch me.
Cause a kiss from your lips would make me a banshee.
My screams will echo through the earth,
To let them know that my dead body has lost its worth
To let them see me rot in hell
To let them know what they can't compel
To curse them all under my spell
Those whispers on earth, they're just my rebirth.

bathed in the cool light of the moon,
my sweet puppyhead and me,

sit.

under the full soft light, 
her ray’s illuminating the yard,
the woods.

footsteps crunch drying leaves,
fox, deer or foe?

waning canopy,
boughs lighter each day.

fall, majestic, peaceful
dying for another year.

plants and creatures, 
taking refuge in the deep dark void
of mother earth,
of mother nature.

squirreling away tidbits for a late winter snack,
coats blooming, thickening.

such delight, 
each night,
sitting outside,
my puppyhead and me.

quiet and solitary,
no humans 
annoying me.

silent and still
only nocturnal creatures
meandering about.

what magic,
what sacredness.
what mystical delight.
never apart,
only the ONE.

such silly confusion,
thinking a person,
separate and small,
quaking with fear.

the big deep dark mystery
laughing and jovial,
always here,
here for us all.

open your eyes, 
feel your nature,
always here,
never apart.

fearing death
fearing life,
what a silly way to live this
life!

the moment you were born,
you began dying,
what a relief,
knowing the score!

relaxing into the madness,
laughing at it all,
pure and free,
forever more, 
and not……

being,
not being,
eons of reflection,
sages and rishis
revealing the truth,
it can’t be done for you,
only you can become 
that which you are….
that which you always were.

my sweet love, my sweet life,
my puppyhead and me,
sitting here in Fall.
~~~

I don't have any excuses for my ****-stained existence
I never doubted my Father's love
My Mother practices gentle sainthood without a hint of judgement
The children are top shelf human blessings to humanity
I am told I am loved and sometimes I almost believe it

The best I can come up with is that we all keep secrets from one another
Which is another way of saying we don't know one another at all
Maybe all of us are living in so much pain the only thing we know is to build walls around our selves to keep some semblance of sanity
I make no excuses I can't bring myself to say a ******* thing