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Rana Ayman Oct 2017
I do whatever it takes just to get me through the night
& despite all of my mistakes I'm still willing to do what's right
In my mind there is no escape
Every part of it sealed in "do not come close" yellow tape
Troubles of my own & no one is to blame
Like a black cloud over my soul that fills me up with shame
& some nights I just want to wipe myself down with tears
Listen to my heartbeat, the only reason Im still here
But I'm not really here am I
I'm somewhere else, a parallel universe
Trying to find a way out of this mess,out of this curse
& I know I'm not alone but every night it feels that way
Spend hours on the phone, that's how it is every single day
But in the end there's no way out for those who are wondering
Unless you stop being in doubt of who you are & stop squandering
We waste our youth looking for excuses to blame all else
Leaving behind all our bruises to rot on a shelf
Rana Ayman Aug 2016
I feel it in my lungs
suffocating me
I feel it in my bones
breaking me
I feel it in every breath I take
choking me
I feel it in every thought that comes to mind
driving me to insanity
I feel it in my sleep
slowly killing me
I feel it in my happiness
bringing me misery
I feel it when I'm with them
longing for the moment I leave
I feel it when I'm alone
wish my heart was stone
I feel it when time stops
and when time flies by
I feel my world falling apart
and there's no going back to the start
yet I stand still and feel all the pain
my soul falls into chains
and I fail once again
I feel my hands shaking
body falling to the ground aching
I wish it was a nightmare and that I'd be awakened
I keep waiting for the day
when everything will be ok
but the mistakes I've made
can't be undone
got nowhere to run
I wonder if I'll ever again get to see the sun.
Rana Ayman Jun 2016
I want you close but I want you far
just the thought of you sets me apart
and I just can't control my heart
loving you is too hard
but what if I can't let you go
tell me what am I supposed to do
I sit all day thinking of you
what we could be,what we could do
but your silence drives me mad
I wish it didn't feel so bad
cause I know I'm in love with you
but baby it's too hard to be true
and I know that your heart holds another
so I could be anything but your lover
I want you far but I want you near
I'm losing my mind without you here
Rana Ayman Jun 2016
Start over move on
words said easier than done
start over move on
everyday there's a rising sun
I know your past keeps haunting you
can't seem to let you go
but you won't let it show
start over move on
someday you'll find the one
start over move on
how long will it take for you to run
it's about time you break free
stop throwing tears into the sea
what difference does it make
the feeling must be overwhelming
it eats you up alive
how things used to be
but why don't you look for yourself and you'll see
the fireworks in the sky illuminating the world
why are you falling behind too obsessed with the darkness
when the stars aren't hard to find
stop thinking too much stop being so blind
look around you I bet there's heaven outlined
start over move on
don't wait till it's all gone.
  May 2016 Rana Ayman
I don't know what I'm doing
I don't know what I'm feeling
I don't know where I'm going
I don't know who I'm being
I'm overwhelmed,
I can't cope

These are the slogans
I repeat to myself
Over and over again

Oh yeah

I'm a failure too
I've lived this life
What did I do?
What do I have to
show for it?

These facts about myself
are the one thing
I'm very positive about.

I repeat these slogans
day in and day out
always wondering
what I'm so
depressed about

I bury my head in these sands

choking on anxiety
in my own
advertising slogans
on my private airwaves

To complicate
just because we think something
doesn't make it true
that goes for
self worth too.


watching the passing cars
from a freeway overpass
like our racing thoughts
not holding on
not making them go away,
in peace
letting them
States of mind are transitory, come and go.
Rana Ayman Jan 2016
It's been a while since words have come to me
seems like I've been lost for too long
I had nowhere to be
But it's time I set myself a track
leave all this mess I've made behind
and never go back
I don't want my dreams to exist in my sleep anymore
I want to wake up and stop feeling sore
thought I had nothing to fight for
but all along it was me closing the doors
Sleeping my way instead of fighting my wars
waiting for someone to win my battles
Only no one did and no one will
In this life,you're all alone
It's time I grow up..wake the door
Here comes the armies and endless wars
But I'll be strong enough I can't run away no more
I chose this life,I chose this road
I will fight,and I will fall
But I'll get back up even If I'm aching
It doesn't matter if every bone is breaking
I'm stronger than this,I've always been
A radiating supernova from within
Rana Ayman Sep 2015
Hello friend
I was lost without you
I was at a dead end
You came into my life like the dawn
Evolving from the darkness
Igniting my bones
Let's go to a party
and dance like crazy
let's go to the florist
I'll get you a daisy
I could talk to you for days
But it's never enough
I simply always miss you
You marshmallow fluff
You truly are the peanut butter
to my jelly
Without you i wouldn't have this belly
Let's go on a ride to wonderland
Let's keep running till we can't stand
I only wrote this for you my friend
I hope that we never come to an end
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