Mims: Favorites

Apr 2018 Mims

Balloon

Apr 2018 Mims

woolgather

Balloon

I wish I'd just fly away,

Lead astray by the skies;

Soaring higher and higher until I just explode.

I wish I'd get tied to make me grounded:

Soft enough to sway,

But strong enough to stay;

Moving to the whims of the breeze until I just explode.

But instead I'm just filled with emptiness.

Unable to speak my censures.

But I float.

Drown me, but I'll float;

And float—

And float,

Until I get swept away.

I wish I'd just explode.

Stop crying.

Apr 2018 Mims

Jigsaw

Apr 2018 Mims

woolgather

Jigsaw

...
...
...

Pick me up,
Piece by piece,

Try to find,
My matching tiles;

Put them all together,
See the figure formed;

...
If I was ever fine.

Pick me up,
Piece by piece,

Lay to wonder,
As to where which should be;

Lay to ponder,
As to how it should be;

...
As I am in disarray.

Pick me up,
Piece by piece,

Tear me up,
Little by little;

Conclude your volition,
Accept the frustration;

...
**I am a puzzle without a key.

4:56 am

An ambiguous write

As evident

Apr 2018 Mims

All it Takes

Apr 2018 Mims

woolgather

All it Takes

All it takes
Is a random conversation
To make me feel like
Anyone cares

All it takes
Is "hey";
To make me know
You still care

All it took
Was a single happening
That made me feel
Broken

All it took
Was someone so close
Doing something so bad
Making me so wasted

All it took
Were deafening fights
And whispering threats
To make me silent

All it took
Was a single "are you okay"
To make me budge
About the way you saw me

All it takes
Is a single conversation

All it takes
Is for you to see how deformed I am
For me to push you away
I'm sorry

All it takes
Is for me to cry help
For you to finally know
But never come

All it takes
Is sharing the truth
Then just leaving me
To make me feel forgotten

All it takes
Is a random happening
To make me want
Something I cannot control

All it takes
Is a few pills
To make you dizzy
Into the sleep you've waited for

All it takes
Is a few slits;
Pain to make you feel
Alive and dead at the same time

All it takes
Is a jump on the seawall
Or a glug of bleach
To end your suffering

All it takes
Is fear to know
And fear to live
To die.

I feel worse

This is an SOS that can't be answered

Please

Apr 2018 Mims

Ambiguity #1

Apr 2018 Mims

woolgather

Ambiguity #1

I ponder
If you knew how much you meant;
I wonder
If you know how many tears I spent;

I know
It's a dumb thing, so feeble;
A stow,
Of feelings so much but none evil;

It's hard,
Trying to make sense of a love so brittle;
It's awkward,
We talked so much yet so little;

Wait, I forgot,
I'm the only one who knows it;
That's why it's all for naught,
Because you will never feel it;

Love,
Love that shouldn't be here;
Love,
Love that I fear;

Love,
Love that I just keep in store;
Love,
Love that could never be more.

If you see these words,
You'll just flow astray;
If you see my words,
*I know you'll go away.

I'd like to keep it this way

It hurts but it's the only safe choice

I'm sorry

Apr 2018 Mims

Things Left Unsaid

Apr 2018 Mims

woolgather

Things Left Unsaid

It kills me;
A random thought,
Of madness,
Of sadness,
Of guilt.
Nothing more than a coward,
Afraid of facing demons;
Became one.
Indifferent towards himself,
Sympathetic towards others.

It kills me;
What hope I say,
Is hope I cannot hold on to.
I drag you down, unknowingly;
I tear you apart.
Just like what I do to them.
I'm sorry.

It kills me;
That we see each other without saying a word,
A broken record in repeat.
Getting close but I guess never close enough.
A movie nearing ******,
Yet never there.

It kills me;
How I can't say a word,
When it's all about to explode.

I'm sorry;
I doubt you would even feel the same;
If I told you,
Would you still see me the same?
It kills me.

I'm not okay. I doubt that I ever will be.
You saved me more than once
I doubt you'll ever feel that
This is for you
Even if you'll never figure it out.

Apr 2018 Mims

A Poet Scared to Write

Apr 2018 Mims

woolgather

A Poet Scared to Write

It's been a while since I had to write;
Words that may be lies; words that may be right;
It's been a while since I let it out,
Emotions not of joy and not of spite.

—

Oh who am I ******* kidding
I can't write anymore
No matter how I try
I can't do it anymore
I ****** up big time. Literally.

But it's not like you'll understand.
Not like anyone would understand.

Apr 2018 Mims

week one.

Apr 2018 Mims

astro eyes

week one.

may the sunshine
find its way into your heart
clearing the debris
leaving its light
in the holes
that were empty
with blackness
birthing new life
into old wounds
forgotten but not released
from the cage it sits
nursing cuts and bruises
tourniquets wrapped around
like lolly wrappers
tightly
the bleeding stops
the skin begins the
repairing process
the heart pumps
the light into the body
from head to toe
attaching itself to every
fiber of this being
the harshness vacates itself
leeches no longer *******
the pureness of innocence
the small amount that she still retains
taken was everything else
except sanity
she kept that
despite all of the insanity
she was immersed in
of others, not her own

its almost a week since you said "you can't do this".
in that same amount of time, you've consumed my waking and sleeping mind and will continue to do so.
do I yours?

#lostopportunity #imissyou

Apr 2018 Mims

J.

Apr 2018 Mims

astro eyes

J.

All this time I've been looking at it
Through a victims lens
Oh poor me
To have lost you
No longer an opportunity
Only felt your bed once
Sang in front of you
I never do that for anyone
We kissed and you never
Had the pleasure
Of meeting my curves
Caressing my grooves
Your skin never on my skin
You never will hear me laugh again
At your similar humour
We won't record a song
I won't watch you mix it
I saw this all
As a loss to me
Poor, poor little B
Alone again
(And without you).

But you
Are also alone
Again
Chose aloneness,
Rather than togetherness.

It is you
Who has lost the most
This hurts me
I feel sorry for you
I think this says,
A lot about who I am.

Most of all,
I am unsure if you even know
what
you
have
truly
lost.

Apr 2018 Mims

last.

Apr 2018 Mims

astro eyes

last.

just put your head under
she said
slowly let yourself
sink
into the stillness
no waves
only stillness

water
sitting nicely at your neck
covering your naked body
the last place you
will lay to rest

stare at the wall
your mind whirling
thousands of thoughts
yet only one is full
of colour and attention

just put your head under
she said
make your way into
the clear ocean
that is your bath
the host
to your last bed

may you slip
and let the water
fill you up
take over your small body
gradually overpowering
your will
to breathe
your breath the last
evidence
that you are still alive

your body is
your anchor
the water accepting
you as if you were always
linked to it
a chain
connecting

this last chain breaks
snaps at this weakness
you are feeling
all over
you gasp
but only to allow
the bath
to entrap you
within its walls
envelop you
and seal you in

just put your head under
she said
let the suffering sink into blackness
gobble you whole
like a monster from your dreams

you vanish without a trace

all you wanted was to feel loved
for exactly as you are
and yet even for this world
this was too much to ask for