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Mims Dec 2018
Are not shadows in windows
But whispers of lost things on the late drive home

Seeing myself walk the side walk down the empty street
To your house
I still remember the inside

But we're driving
Not walking
I'm watching
Not existing
Another dimension

And it doesn't matter anymore

I'm not scared of the promises sewn into the carpet on my Aunt's living room floor
I hear them occasionally in a song
Or a joke
And I think about how maybe they could've been real

But I don't have proof
No photos
No witnesses
Just a letter I never sent
A poem unwritten
Blood on the pavement
A candle not burning


Not haunted

Mims Dec 2018
"What's the use of writing it all down?"
She said.

"I'm just trying to keep it out of my head"

"****** girl"

"****** me?"

"You know how to ******* read."
Mims Dec 2018
Seasonal depression
Opens the wound

Can't go Christmas tree shopping
Or ice skating
Without noticing the

I'd give almost anything

Just to feel loved
Like that

For a day.
Why did you have to **** so bad
Why did you have to be abusive and yell and be so scary
Why did you have to make mom
File for divorce
Why couldn't you have just been kind and gentle
For me?

Why wasn't I

Mims Nov 2018
I miss being friends
Were we ever friends?
I miss being in love
Did I ever love?
I miss the fighting
I miss the passion
I miss the heat
The pain
The healing
The art
The late nights
The wondering

The writing

Was any of it ever really there?

Mims Nov 2018
All that I am
All that I was
All that i'll ever be
Will never make sense to anyone

Not even me
"Felt it in my youth, I'll feel it when I'm old"
Mims Nov 2018
"Having someone doesn't mean ****"

"The loneliness doesn't go away with someone sitting next to you"

"If someone says they 'love you' it doesnt make you love yourself"
Deep conversations with strangers that are maybe considered friends by the end
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