Sometimes, I wonder "What If".
Sometimes I wonder "If It Was Me"
Then I stop.
I look at what I have.
All I have since you didn't want me.
And I smile.
I look in his eyes, brown pools of depth.
Real love I find, no superficial ****.
And I smile.
I no longer wonder "What If"

Tonight I am in deeper than usual.
Losing you hurts worse than normal.
Most days, I stand on the shore as your memory laps at my feet.
But tonight, tonight I am drowning.
Memories of you crash into my brain.
It's been a year and nine months, but still so much pain.
I miss you my dearest Uncle.
Missing you comes in waves
Tonight I am in over my head

I had a dream the other night. A dream so real that I woke up in tears. You were there, kissing me. Just as it used to be. But wishing for this love to return is like Cinderella's sister becoming the Prince's bride. So I must set you free. ****** he makes me so ******* happy. But he's not you. Yes, he tells me the things I love to hear. Yes he can turn me on with the smallest of touches but ****** sometimes I miss you. and I hate it. I hate it so much. I know, I know without a doubt that it is time to let go.

They say drunk texts are when true feelings are shared. So now I know you miss me, now I know you care. Stop pushing me away darling, because I'm not going anywhere.

I didn't realize how much I wanted to cry, until no tears came out. I didn't realize how much you affected my life, until you were no longer in it. I didn't realize that you became my best friend, until you walked away. I didn't realize how loving you puts me through pain. I didn't realize that I don't want to drink, until I see the bottle. I didn't realize how much you would haunt me, until it was too late. But I do realize you need your space. I do realize that we need to mature more. I do realize that you're not quite a man yet. We both have a lot of growing left to do. I just hope and pray that we grow back together after awhile. Because I also realize that you've ruined me for anyone else.

It's not fair that I still want you. It's not fair that you invade my dreams. It's not fair that I crave your kisses. It's not fair that your touch still awakens me. It's not fair that I dream of being in your arms, only to wake in disappointment. It's not fair that I still like you.

She wishes every day
For something to come true
She dreams every night
Her dreams filled with you
She cries away her hours
Waiting by her phone
Wishing, wanting, and hoping
For you to come along