your cheeks rough
from          the                  cold when i brushed them
snow on Monday afternoons, and our numb fingers trying to
feel each other.

Oft had I thought ‘twas meant just for a male
And mindlessly I’d chosen not to read
Until one day I was summoned to heed
Melville’s epic tale of The Great White Whale

The wandering sailor - “Call me Ishmael”
Captain Ahab -  vengeance his greedy need
Reckless, careless; anything to succeed
Yet, his destiny, rightly, was to fail

Hodge-podge of cultures from all walks of life
Scruples, beliefs, tenets, lessons  and more
Adventure and religion - all were rife
Herman challenged and gave voice to it all

The world then -  the world now - deeply in strife
When will we learn and stop fighting the war?

with a heavy heart and heavy steps

i climb the stairs

and enter the void.

Emptiness - my silent, inhospitable host.



She has prepared nothing --

offers nothing.

nothing but Her smothering, palpable, deafening presence.



my shoulders drop all the more as She takes hold and draws me in.

then, for the longest time i stand,

having moved no further than those few steps into Her house.



She does not care to make me comfortable.

why should She?



from within my being

hunger cries out.

an insatiable yearning

no, not for food but for more --

so much more.



i long for him to hold me close;

for his breath to settle upon my neck.

i crave his nearness as he whispers in my ear;

telling me everything will be alright.




my body aches to be touched.


my being cries to be held.


my heart hungers for something it has tasted,

but knows it cannot have.



i know not how to satisfy those needs;

only the simplest of necessities.



i have not eaten this long and busy day

and so, as i do many days of late,

i take from Her cupboard

and prepare a dinner of breakfast cereal.



there seems no point in sitting.

why seek comfort with one that does not wish to give it?

so i stand beside the island bench in Her kitchen;

eat out of necessity;

and drink in Her ceaseless, deafening mockery.



"how apt", i think,

and  then smirk along with Her;

as i realise i truly am standing on an island --



alone.

Honestly
I feel like an Empress boo.

Divine iterations
of existence, unique...
And I truly hope these
expressions
make a good impression on you,
I do
not always know how things
will turn out
Often times I find
myself
stalled; consumed with doubt
So if you could,
Be patient please.
Things are deeper than they seem.
There’s more to me than you can really see;
although what I share
is limited
to the confines of a square
Boxed In
is one thing I could never Be
And so world, here’s to me
And here’s to Being
Infinitely
Free.

The significance of memories

is something profound
                                  
                            a­nd intricate.

Through memories do we achieve immortality,
thus through the holders of memories
do we create the essence
of everlasting;

                                Loss


emerges as a facet of coping with sudden change,

Lost
loved ones...
valuables...
   time...
     opportunities.
but we can appreciate the silent endeavor
to generate everlasting existence

It's what you wanted,
right? A prime cut, cool
in the middle and hot
to the touch— toothsome
and tender, fresh from the
embers, a just-how-you-like-it bite.

in the corner
legs crossed

hands folded
head bowed

avoiding eyes

she thinks she
does not exist

she thinks she is
not noticed

but she does not
know her power

the potential she
can never allow

herself to see

the way she
holds the world

together with
her quiet ways

I awoke at silly-o’clock. Made tea, and re(a)d.
Probably shouldn’t ree(a)d when I’m still sleep-blurry...

I re(a)d fork as frock. Thought- what the hell, to her mouth?
Didn’t seem that kind of novel.

I re(a)d Evil as Elvis. Thought- **** me, this guy’s really
got it in for dead rock n roll stars.

Spilled my tea laughing and ow’d.

It is painful being me.

Gathering self for
the morning's journey into
today's mystery.