Two adversaries, exactly the same
Both I let in
Inside my house
Disguised as friends
The first bid their time, sat inside
They stole the china
The photos
My keepsakes
And set fire to the floorboards
Before they left

The second came along just later
Carrying tools and aid
We rebuilt my home around me
And then we sat inside
They smiled each day
And shook my hand freely
But one night they stole
Not a possession
But into my home at night
And ran their blade across my neck

I will run rusted memories
Across taunt skin inside my head
And I'll say it wasn't so
I'll do this for you now
And I will not bleed again
I will leave you to yourself
As I believe in you again
That you could do better yet

Than someone like me
Who just can't decide on anything
You don't deserve to be put through this
You don't deserve to be put through me
So it'll hurt for the time being
But someone will decide on you

You should know that I'm yours
But I'd rather you not be mine
You deserve someone who's okay with you
Someone who's okay in time
I'd rather you never knew me at all
And that's a lie I'll treat myself to
As you try to soften the blow
I've already run myself through

Because the things that I've said
Are enough to make sunsets fade
You don't deserve to hear this
You don't deserve to hear my pain
And of course I'm hurting you
But you'll hurt less overall is my hope

I only hope you don't forgive me
And that you move on fast
If you could find my fears
A man I was afraid you'd want
Then take up your chances
And give him a shot
I'd rather you go down fighting
Than go down because of words

One day you'll be whole for sure
And I'll be alone as I've assured
You don't deserve to be near me
You don't deserve to be alone
I hope one day you find a room
That you and I are not inside at all

Jesus, I know this is unreasonable
It's always been the dumb little things
That I'm never good at picking up on
And I'll admit, I saw some of it before
But now the comparisons are creeping in
When set alone it's insignificant
And it wasn't even a lie at that
At most you bent the truth a bit

She bent the truth around her fingertip
Every small thing added up
And eventually I had noticed
But by then it was out of control
I get ******* in people so easily
It's a weakness that I try to avoid
I really hope that I'm wrong about this
But I can't help but panic that you're lying

I guess that I shouldn't really be surprised you left a bad taste
Because horrible words taste the worst
And I've figured out that your songs are full of them
I can't forget how the way you spoke was so pretentious
Not every sentence is a ******* metaphor
And yours didn't even begin to make sense

No, I don't miss the late nights at your little Starbucks

Street lights aren't romantic, they're just lamps

And our drives weren't profound, they were reckless

Not every day has to be some stupid adventure
I can't believe I let you get away with saying wanderlust
And half the time I believed that's what it really was
You used me just to get some experience
I hope that I at least satisfied your curiosity
And that's really all I have left for you at this point

Because I've decided that I won't be able to forgive you

You make it so hard to open up to somebody else

And here's to hoping that wasn't your only goal

Because overall I still really miss you
I'd take the bad sides if only I could get the good
And that's testimony to how much you've ruined me
Yes, I miss you telling me how my eyes look in the sun
Your voice would still be comfort in the night
And I'd take anyone before you but I'd still pick you first

So maybe one day I'll navigate to better shores

I'll look back and say with sincerity that I hate you

And I'll get on with my ******* life