I once was a blind bird shackled in the shadow
bestowed with a pair of flightless wings
yet cursed with a pair of sightless eyes
a tiny feather in the middle of nothingness
allowing winds to draw me nowhere
although, I like it this way
I mean, I do not know exactly
I'm being used to it
and I'm afraid I might get addicted to it
but I must not
no matter how narrow the clouds might be
you must always seek for the sun

it was a chaos
a chaos that I ignited
and yet I can't do anything about it
I tried to scream
but nothing happened
I exerted lots of energy to break these chains
and I exerted all of my strength
but these are not enough

and I became exhausted
you would not hear me
nor any sound from me
pure silence
like when an angel walks by

and I hope that an angel would walk by

all of a sudden, the dawn breaks
the gloom fades like a wild animal
there was nothing but light
and for the first time, I was able to see
clouds filled the blue firmament
the cage was broken and gone

I haven't even called Him yet
but He rescued me right on time
how He loves me so much
and I was different
never yearn to go back
a free bird, flying
changed,
new.

I am love, unconditional, under certain conditions
You have to have the right views, and the right color of skin.
And I define what's right in this closed mind of mine,
You are all my brothers and sisters,
If you have the right bloodlines.
I praise God, I am God- your king,
So praise me when I sing His hymns, my hymns
You are all filthy humans, wallowing in sin.
Sinless and clean, I am as righteous as Him.
I am love, we are one- if you are like me.

-SLuR?

I try to force myself to dream
With my headphones in my ears,
Waiting for my phone to ring,
So I can pretend that you're there;
And cling,
But everything eventually disappears.
Who can happily fall asleep holding air?
I hate the part of me that descends helplessly
Into emotions I want to stir,
But can never seem to reach.





I'm a monster, a creature
That crawls against the walls of the night.
A lady who feeds off of lies,
Tonguing words that don't sit right
Though they hold truth in the dark side of my eyes.

I wish you'd scrape yourself against my corneas
And squirm to the back of my mind,
To understand all I wrongly convey,
The pain; that you naysay.
If it's not here, then why do I feel this way?
Loneliness overtakes in waves throughout the day, but it doesn't exist.
I just bend and twist to look broken,
Like I need to be fixed; as you insist.
Ignore my scars and what I try to open,
Dusty drawers, that no one cares to rummage through.
I'll keep them locked, and stay hopeless
That anyone's fumbling hands will hold the key.

Leave me, unseen.

-SLuR

So many stories, so much time
spent by humans who mull over
questions so sonderous, pour over
answers which fill us
with such feeling
our hearts' would burst.
So many constructs, so much memory
Happiness, or drugs; if it's not one
it's another. Been so busy dying
I forgot to get living.
There is beauty in chaos.
Looking back upon
those times, these memories, fondly
and appreciating why Skins doesn't age.
In memoriam of spent youth, lost moments
and truth.

"UR A GLORIOUS HEADFUCK THING. OWN IT"

At night I imagine you're arms enfold, as it's me I know they wish to hold, at night I weep for words unsaid for kisses un-given and emotions misread, I weep for the fact that you want to love me, I weep for the fact that I am what I be.