There are too many things I want in life, small and big. I want to be able to wake up everyday and eat breakfast at home. I want to take my time and get ready to my favourite music. I want to love the view of my backyard and appreciate how pretty the blooming flowers are. I want to drive to school with a positive attitude, eager and excited to attain the knowledge that awaits me. I want to interact with new people, new people everyday. I want to visit different restaurants and try the dishes I never took the risk to try. I want to walk around the city as if I own it. I want to be noticed, valued, and understood. Everyday I am running towards these goals, and although it seems as if I am barely moving, it is only right if I die trying.
Right now I am drowning in misery, but one day I will be happy.

somewhere
on unending
back roads of Nebraska
I left behind the ghost of my
cancer

She loves being alone, she really does.
Does one truly enjoy solitude?
A word accompanied by such a dreadful, negative connotation?
She always claimed to be a loner by choice,
but was she really?
Did she really have a choice?
Or was it simply a mutual understanding,
that she was not wanted or cared for?
Alienation is simply a form of self-defence.
She shut her doors to save herself.
She loves being alone, she really does.

I do not understand what "in the moment" is
I've always drowned myself in the past, focused wholly on the unpromising future
What is happening right now, does not matter to me
What will happen in the future, scares me
Everyday I wake up surrounded by the same concretes
The same ones that echo my silence when the moon greets
I am tired, I am exhausted
I am tired of this momentary bliss
*I despise living this life of pretend,
forever wishing to start again.

Do you remember the way things were when we were so small?
Do you recall being reckless and never answering phone calls?
Do you remember being carefree and always standing tall?
Do you miss having your chin up and thinking you had it all?
Because now you are stuck in between these dreadful walls
Because now all you feel is loneliness as you walk down the hall
Because now you realize nothing really meant anything at all
Because now, all you do is fall.