*ME...? *
*In my own world id'e be made out of playdo'h, and the colour purple id'e be. The place i can learn to be me, start to be me... I have something no one else has, my inner light.
The colour purple i think id'e like.
yeah it shine's. And pretty **** bright too,
i might say.
I see it as a strength after all it's a bit like this poem it 'kinda' make's sense.

*POISONED APPLE*
*Was i once the apple of my daddy's eye?
I doubt it, by how quick/easily he said "Bye,bye"
Do i often ask myself how could he and 'oh' why?
"You betcha" she say's bitterly with a sigh.  They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
But also the wicked witch said "here's a nice juicy apple my dear, have it for free.  Well apparently nothing's free in this life.
There's alway's something someone's afta.
Thus ending this chapter of the story that didn't end happily ever after.

*HIGHER SELF* It's time to un ***** this fantasised head of mine, wouldn't ya say?There ain't no one else to blame.If through all the sunny day's, all's i see is rain.  It's time that my higher self showed itself.  Made an appearance, wouldn't you say.? So show yourself!, show me that i HAVEN'T been left on the shelf!(again) Haven't been left to fend for my self!.
(again, my own fault i know... But as i am talkin to my higher self Whats my fault is also your fault)Please show me That i am praying
for more than just myself.

*REALITY CHECK*  -All it take's is that one small thing that can bring you back down to earth.
To suddenly start thinking what your life has been worth.
Did you achieve many of your goal's?
Or any of your plans in life?
Or don't  you think your even on the right path?
Yet again you hear yourself say   "WHY ME" as you    hit ******* this world called Reality.

*FORGOTTEN MESSAGES*
-If i wrote a poem or few, would you read it?
Would you get the message's i'm trying to send?         Would it help if i put it in a bottle?    My messages with a first class stamp in a bottle.   Just to make sure, yeah.
About as sure as not at all.
As bad as just being folded away and put away in a drawer.
Even your           pre-tence is poor..

*ME???
-What is happening to me?
Can hardly remember you anymore.
'Heck' i can just barely remember me, or what day/month/even year it may be.
Even though your gone, i want to get to know you.
see if you were like me.

*SMILE*
*Just dont get it,dont think i ever will,sick of going over the same ****.in my head that is...Most things i have forgiven,Many things i have forgotten.but you dont really care.I know this by now, yeah...(i convince myself)i dont let it get me down,For you i will never frown,or will let you see my smile upside down.can you see the "**** you" in my smile  Today?...

*MOM*
She would dye her hair a different colour like every other week. -The bag that sat on her lap had countless key rings on it. In fact there were more key rings than bag. -She was someone you could talk to about anything With. However quirky/emotional it was. -Even tho i'm  Not much of a singer. (After realising only recently)-she would encourage me and give me advice with the high notes i couldn't and (still cant) reach. -Not realising at the time but my mom lived for me and big bro, after being told she probably wouldn't be able to have kids and more than likely wouldn't live past 25/30/35 So its no surprise we meant so much to her.-not having the chance to get to really know her.-weather i had the chance to say good bye or not, i wasnt and never will be ready.

*WHITE FLAG*  Waving the white flag. Sick of this game of 'Tag'.
Would you agree?
eye to eye we clearly do not see.
That i agree, i agree.
Not knowing how to help, and maby you with me?
that i see. Do you see?
It's nice to know you were there.
Thank's for acting like you care.
Thank's for watching as i Continue to fall.
it's time to let go.
Once and for all.

*YOU WHO?*
If i didn't say goodbye,
it wouldn't bè real.  I couldn't say goodbye,
because for me it would never bè real.
11 years later and still its not real.
But missing you dearly.
That's real.
Thinking of you every day that's real.
I found and picked up a Penny today.  Was that you sending luck my way?-
-What is happening to me?
I can hardly remember you anymore.
'Heck' i can just barely remember me, or what day/month/even year it may be.
Even though your gone, i want to get to know you.
see if you were like me.
-As i waved to the magpie, 3rd one this month.
can't help but wonder, as yet again, i shudder.
Then it start's to rain and thunder.
I smile... :)
Stealing my thought's.
Where was i?
Oh yes.. Rain&thunder; Then i shudder.
Deja-vu as i wonder.
Tryin to remember  just as i forget,
more and more as i do.
Even my closest memory's
My memory's of you. X

*EMPATHY*
-Do you see this empathy i have?
The sincerity i have?
The forgiveness i have chosen to give?
For not just my mistakes but yours, i'm willing to forgive.   Sorry, that was a lie! I can't forgive.
Not for 'how not bothered you are of how little you have sid.
But maby the fact you have never wanted to even get to know me.
Never really knowed me.
I suppose i can never understand/get over just how quickly you disowned me.
Maby you could at least help me see your point of view,whatever it may be- It will help me to at least get a glimpse of me-

*SELF DESTRUCTION*
* I try and convince myself it's fine.
The problem's ain't
getting any bigger.  Who are you trying
to kidd?
ya kidder.
You got ya finger pressed on the trigger.
I'm the one holding
the gun.?
Go figure.
As if you didn't already know. I could see
the crack's beginning  to show.
You know there won't  be anything left soon. I presume.
Nothing but your doom

My patience is wearing thin. Similar to the  thin ice you have been standing on. Up until  now i have given you  the benefit of the  doub't.-Messages from my  heart,Body and soul i  had received.

Who's that i see?Not you or me. I see blank  eye's, a lost soul evenCompassion and  empathy where you  should be seething,  from trying to  understand a certain  meaning. 
No,  chose not to be bitter. I chose not to.....Eventually.