I would hold back
the sea with my
bare hands

If you asked

the heart is a mirror that reflects nothing but organs

[11:17:14pm]
it's been thirty five days or
eight hundred and forty hours or
fifty thousand four hundred minutes and
i've spent almost every single night
crying

[11:25:29pm]
i wonder if you remember how you felt
when you rolled over in the morning and
there i was, next to you
i wonder if you knew
that at that moment i had
never seen someone so beautiful
in my entire life

[11:34:31pm]
my mother says you can tell a lot
about a person from what
their hands are like
whenever i think of yours i can
still feel the patterns you spent forever
tracing on my back

[11:37:58pm]
i drove down  
every single road it took
to take me home that one night and
i'm still curious as to why
you took the long way home

[11:41:56pm]
i spend a lot of time thinking, wondering
1. about you
2. still, you

[11:46:38pm]
i forgot how to stop
when it came to us
i should have known it
would be 11:46:38pm
thirty five days later
and i would still be writing
about the boy who didn't
give a ******* ****

you were a cheap high
that never lasted long enough
and for ***** sake,
i am shaking like a recovering addict
without you around

i look at you
the same way
you look at the
7:30pm sky
when it's lit up
in bright pinks
oranges, yellows,
instead of blue --
full of wonder
and melancholy

the boy you love is in your bed and
he is shaking

you wonder if it will always be like this,
tremors through his arms and legs, or if this
is only because he is wrapped in sheets that
smell like someone else.  so you offer him a bowl,
partly to calm him down but mostly because
when he takes a drag he cups his hands and
bows his head and it looks to you like he is
praying and his hands are still shaking and you
wonder if he has faith in anything and if not
maybe that thing could be you

so you clime beside him and you inhale as
he exhales and for a moment he is
                                                                                          still

the boy you love is in your bed and
you are shaking