XXXIII

Yes, call me by my pet-name! let me hear
The name I used to run at, when a child,
From innocent play, and leave the cowslips piled,
To glance up in some face that proved me dear
With the look of its eyes. I miss the clear
Fond voices which, being drawn and reconciled
Into the music of Heaven’s undefiled,
Call me no longer. Silence on the bier,
While I call God—call God!—So let thy mouth
Be heir to those who are now exanimate.
Gather the north flowers to complete the south,
And catch the early love up in the late.
Yes, call me by that name,—and I, in truth,
With the same heart, will answer and not wait.

(sonnet #MMMMMCDXXXII)


How rain's nigh ghastly light haunts vague suspense
Ere darkness yield to after.  In the pale
Note follwing, whiter morsels chase th'exhale
Which moves atwixt these firs as if pretense
Could not decide oer snowbanks' worn intents
And newer puddles thinking of betrayl,
This fragile romance in surreal tones' bail
Lost in the flurry of just whither hence.
I want to ask you what you're doing fer
All we have overnight made me and you
Erm, us and we.  And scared but driving, you're
Not one bit daunted either.  What'd we do?
I've heard of whirlwind stories.  Aren't such poor?
You'd kiss my tear-washed face, and say we knew?

03Feb16

I cried myself to sleep last night.
I wished you could be there,
To hold me close to you and whisper its okay.
It was one scary and unusual lala by.
But am glad I did not see its end.

I cried myself to sleep last night because I kept feeling I had lost you.
But today under the clouded afternoon.
I realise that,
The droplets of my tears melted your heart in your sleep,
And probably planted a short dream about me.
Because today you seem to have remembered me.

incandescent

Only in yellow flames,
was the outline of your body revealed,
In ethereal guise,
Chalk outlines and white lines defined my kaleidoscopic mind state,
at that peculiar time.
We should of seen the signs,
but the stars aligned,
and your nature, nefarious,
exposed the worst of both of us,
combined.
Sometimes aurora came before sleep,
and I was weak at the knees,
the calmest breeze whistled woodwind notes amongst the trees.
So sure, demure,
You asked me what I was waiting for?
And I reacted chemically,
in luminescence.
I asked you if you learnt your lesson?
It was evident that I was just your favourite daydream.
So I stayed in limerence;
exposed like windless nights to the star skies.  
Infatuated by nothing more than candle light.
I knew I was wrong,
You knew you were right.
I knew you were wrong,
You knew I was right.

And these dreams will be the death of me.
Broken sleep &
relentless lethargy.
I'm out of control,
so I'm told.
I've slipped outside of my soul,
or so I'm told.
My nose runs consistently,
Yet I don't have a cold.
Now everything hurts,
and yet I feel so cold.
REM dream sequences;
play me on repeat.
play on repeat,
Everybody hurts too but they carry on,
Won't admit defeat.
Not me,
I bend under the pressure,
Malleable,
& then break what's,
Valuable.
I'm weak at the knees,
alieness in alloness of stress;
Please let me rest,
Stop stealing my shut eye by looking in to mine,
I walked the line,
But crossed it,
No going back now I think,
I shudder each time I blink.
And in dreams I believe I could be happy,
Or at least not so sad,
Wishing to feel those feelings
That I've predominately lacked.
Now in dreams I wait to see a GP
in reality,
So he can endorse these feelings into clarity,
Prescribe me patronisingly with 50mg of setraline;
"I'm sure alls not as bad as it seems"
He says so candidly,
Whilst I'm sat here,
can't even speak,
trapped at the mercy of these endorphinemachines.

Tear
Gas
Has
No
Use
When
People
Are
Already
Crying

You
Cannot
Take
Away
The
Rights
Of
Those
Who
Have
Nothing
Left