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Nov 2014 · 8.3k
Oil paints what a bummer
Mark Thompson Nov 2014
Oil paints...what a ******
    My mistake
A spill on canvas
          I wipe and wipe to fix the "inspiration"
Before I know my eyes are fixed and fixed on...nothing

The painting's gone, my over thought of simple things
Has stormed again and taken from me
      That that I saw, and saw as a need

A force so convincing
Has broken,
shock! and gone a splintering

  And now
In wide eyed amazement
I stare at beauty staring back at me
From a chance meant
  To be
A happy accident

A smile

Relief
Nov 2014 · 464
6:18 a.m.
Mark Thompson Nov 2014
here i am again 6:18 a.m.
losing thought
or mind caught
behind my body and certainly my paranoia
which light years ahead it dives and dives
till the light is no more bright or warm
its a distant candle in a cloud
and its getting thicker now
the smoke surrounds
its choking
coming in my lungs or out my mouth
i cant tell
it seems so all surrounding
pulling rugs from out my vibrance
till it dwindels shrivels
a frail trigger on anxiety
these ropes they tie to me
and without warning pull and strain
not a feeling such as pain, but loss
or close enough it does not matter
now :25 and i must remember
it takes no one to bring me joy
and yet i love to give up laughter
Mark Thompson Aug 2013
Missed planes
Missed calls
Missed chances
A missed kiss
I miss kissing you
Or maybe just the thought...just a thought
I'm having one to many right now
Maybe a little more than one...maybe a lot more
I don't know
I thought for a little while I did know...
What I want
Know who I want
Know where I am
Know who I am
Know what I am...I don't though
I'm a little confused...or a lot
I don't know
I'm a little lost...or a lot
I don't know
I know I'm alive
But maybe not living...maybe not
I don't know...
and so...
On I write...
And on I go
Aug 2013 · 484
A shot in the dark
Mark Thompson Aug 2013
All through my life. 
I see this pain...
throughout
And I am at a loss for words
And thoughts
And action...
And everything
For I have lost...
things
And friends
And family
And time
And maybe...myself...
I am a cliff
Eroding,
one wave at a time
I'm not sure if you understand this meaning
But I do...
and that is enough...
Cause I don't write this down for you or them or him
I write because I have these thoughts like weights
Thick and heavy they fill me till I have no room left for anything else
And they plead for escape and release out of my mouth and through my eyes
But I have nothing left...
I feel not empty, but sealed
From the inside and out
I cannot feel you, but I cannot feel myself
I need a change
A shock
A shot
A something 
To bring me back
Wake me up
I hope it's something good
But hope is foolish....and I am a fool
Mark Thompson Aug 2013
I'm surrounded
By family
And friends
And people
And places
And objects
And I see them
But don't feel them
Don't feel their connection to me, and mine to them
Not when I'm like this
Not when my mind is here
Not there with them and all that is
That is where it should be
But it's hard 
You know
I hope you do...I hope someone does
Then I could feel them
I don't want to feel the heaviness
I want the light shine and weightlessness of joy
I guess you don't feel the rock underneath you, like you do when it is overhead
Funny how that is
We strive for joy and love and peace, but the pain and sad is what sticks
And gets us stuck
I hope I'm not stuck
And I don't think I am...really...but I worry
Jun 2013 · 677
I am young
Mark Thompson Jun 2013
I am loaded.
loaded with whiskey.
with beer.
or something worse...
My is aim true.
I may not want to believe, but my actions speak louder than words every could.
I **** the hammer.
And as the pin drops the words exit my mouth.
The bullet exits the chamber.
Your fears realized.
My confidence realized.
For what it is...
False.
I am young.
foolish, quick, selfish, optimistic in a world where a hardened soul is smart.
And safe.
Right and deserving.
And I am not...
Not of you.
Not of your touch.
your laugh.
your cry.
Not of all the things that make you.
The one that I...
Want.
And that is true. I
Am who I am.
Foolish.
Hopeful.
Excited.
But...terrified.
Terrified that the feelings I have,
You don't.
Or are to smart to chance with.
Cause smart is safe.
And I am not.
Not smart.
Not Safe.
But a fool.
And so I go, burning the match at both ends.
And when it is done I hope the bridge between us still remains.
And I can walk over it.
To you.
And hold you once more.
Jun 2013 · 780
the follies of a fool
Mark Thompson Jun 2013
Not ready.
Not ready.
Not ready, not ready, not ready.
But wait I think I,
No!
You can listen to your heart over your mind, but only a fool or a child is guided by only one.
You, the babe drunk off her smile.
Her laugh.
Her touch.
Her indescribable.
Must now, think not of all that you want to gain.
But what you are willing to lose, and walk without.
Knowing it was haste and selfishness which lost it.
So step back.
Accept the things about yourself you cannot change.
And only time can.
Listen to her.
this angel.
This friend.
This person that has let you into her world.
And love her as such.
Jun 2013 · 633
the bane of fruit
Mark Thompson Jun 2013
The stripes in one ear.
But through the other, the music of,
timers, chatter, lunch dates, and gossip,
heels clicking across the floor, black, yellow and glossy.
Steam, glass bottles, plastic bottles, recyclable cups and coffee beans and nuts.
Hipsters...
Pomp and derogation and self empowerment your the sake of self indulgence,
and the who knews of what firsts,
and the ******* iPhones!!!
Everywhere looking out there apple eyes, winking at their older brothers,
openly mocking their lack of flash and exclusivity,
(secretly resenting their rarity, in a world washed in white).
Its the 3.
The 4.
The 5, 6, 7, 10!
Look how clean,
Look how much I payed,
Look how little is left of myself, as my own.
I am one.
I am unique.
I am original.
You are one, of a million others.
You are unique, in your perspective of the world.
That of a carriage horse with blinders, led by his driver to buy and throw away and buy again...
You are original.
You are.
You are unique.
You are beautiful.
But you are Nieve, lost in the sea computerized ******* produce.
So you,
you one in a million.
You unique flake of snow, with a pattern all your own.
Let me take you from this place.
To the beginning.
Where the apple got his name.
Where the trees grow fruit to eat.
And the only music is that of the wind.
And the water.
And leaves in the trees.
And when you feel, rather than hear.
You will be the thing you want most.
Yourself.
Yourself alone.
Jun 2013 · 694
Perry Eyes
Mark Thompson Jun 2013
We walk the sands at night.
cold air and a harsh wind brings are bodies closer together.
And in your grasp I feel something long missed and much loved.
Hoping you'll take me down to the waters edge.
and let myself match the rhythm of the waves there as they crash against us.
You are like  those waves strong but fluid and unlike anything else.
A glint of a smile out of the corner of my eye sends quivers down my spine.
Which your hands unknowingly follow and calm.
Reassuring me that I am yours and you are mine.
I stop just long enough for you to look up and let those eyes of perry green lock with mine.
A mile in a minute.
My heart and mind are racing each other.
One realizing the harsh pains of reality to young,
And building up walls and tissue scars to lock the world away.
A pool to wade in the shallows.
living a life without love or pain,
to safe to let another fall scrape my knees and make it harder to walk on.
Don't fall.
Dive! Eyes closed and headfirst,
the second runner in the race calls up.
And what's the worst that could happen.
He another child forced to grow to soon,
teaching himself to walk.
His cadence notched but proud.
A man trying desperately to let go of the rock and drift with the current.
And fearing the rapids to come he releases the stone and is a child once more.
confused and excited.
Always knowing the mouth of the river never moves but the ride you take to get there may move you.
And these are the two.
Runners in my head.
Running over thoughts
and dreams
and fears
and... finally on the edge of the dark holding each other give me the one piece of advise I can use....
So let me hold you and fall into darkness.
Eyes closed and headfirst,
As you whisper in my ear that,
"light is on the way"

— The End —