My parents made a life together
A marriage built to last
They kissed and loved and raised us
And taught us to live vast
I met you, they didn't approve
I thought that you could change
I guess I should have listened
*** you changed in different ways
At first we made each other laugh
And I felt right at home
But when I needed you the most
I found myself alone
I was always there for you
You said I made you safe
I quickly fell in love with you
Turns out I made mistakes
My past, you used against me
My future was a threat
The present was all I lived for
I took what I could get
The strongest thing I ever did
Was leaving you at last
Before I even realized,
Six long months had passed
I still think of you sometimes
Try my hardest not to call
But I know if I see you again
Right into love I'll fall
I guess I'm doing better now,
Sometimes I forget, but
It's so hard not to remember
All of my weak regrets
I wanted everything for us
I guess we moved too fast
I thought we could have a future
Turns out all we have is past
I still love him. Maybe not in the same way that I used to, but I do love him. He's in the back of my mind making goofy faces like he used to, a gentle reminder of how it went wrong. I hate the way we ended things. It's been six months since we've talked, and almost 10 months since I've seen him. I've always reached out to him after allowing him to settle down, but I guess I just got tired of cleaning up the mess that he was. He made me feel needed and wanted, and I think that's why I fell for him. But that's not love, not really. And that's why I am still able to say that I've never been in love before. He was like a drug, after a time, I couldn't help but text him, but I hated things that he did to me, enduring them only for the times when he called me beautiful. And like a drug, though I haven't gone near him in a long time, I think there may always be a small part of my that wants to go running back.