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He got up in me,
With no feelings,
Like a demon.
But I loved the devil.

I gave you the benefit of the doubt.
Shame on me.
I knew,
That everything will come to light.
Shame on you.

You wasn't there when she needed someone to go too,
She went to the only man,
That she knew didn't love her.
Maybe loved her,
When he entered her soul,
Tears rolling down her face,
She never understood,
As she's getting undressed,
The rest is to not be said,
This sudden pain is feeling like hot rocks,
Being pilled up on her body,
Knives being thrown to her chest,
Hitting right through her heart,
She's weak,
Her feet are bleeding,
From trying to stand so tall,
She refuses to fall,
She yells for your name,
Knowing you can no longer be there.
Let the man who never loved her,
Be there for the women, who's destroying herself through the flesh with two.

Haven't had much inspiration.
It's like my mind is going crazy.
I can't seem to put the words that want to be said out on paper.
I'm at ease.
This feeling,
I am not understanding.
Is there nothing to say?
Nothing to write?
...  
I cannot continue.

Content with who I am, who I've become. Those may heard, but they will never know my story. I am a writer who will continue to write, although some seem tragic, I promise somethings we're just meant to happen. Many won't understand, some will try to adjust. Remember to never judge a book by its cover, because they could be smiling but in the inside be frowning. Remember to love those close to you, even the ones you lost contact with. Remain strong, and always fight. Because you are his solider, and he is your leader, let him guide, he'll never mislead you. For this is what I tell you, pain is just for a few seasons, but as long as you pray, I promise he will heal you. You don't need to go to church everyday, to have him Love you. You are his child, he'll never leave you. just promise that you will call him, when time gets rough, know that he's with you. Pray for strength, happiness and laughter, because at the end it will be all that you ever wanted, happy ever after..✨

All she wants is for someone to make her laugh,
To make her feel good.
To Tell her she's beautiful.
How much you admire her.
Why you love her.
That her presence is important,
Warming..

I remember when those pills took a tool of me.
When I drank them that one night,
I saw the gates to what I wished For my whole life..

Remember ?

Today I wrote a poem about cha.
About how you make me smile,
How I couldn't be without cha.
How the first time we spoke,
Little jokes being said,
Something about cheesy toes.
The first time you spoke,
Deeper than anyone has ever known you.
Remember our hands becoming one,
As we found each other that one afternoon,
Walking back to your destination,
Because it was time for you to go home.
The moment we stared into each other's eyes,
No words being spoken,
But we knew what was being said.
The first kiss.
So simple, yet so quick.
Butterflies in one stomach,
As we got comfortable with the thought
Of being with each other.
I look back, and thank god for chosen the right path for me.
For making me see the light again,
Because that's how I feel, when I look at him.
May this light never end..

I have so much to say. My mind is going into circles. What is wrong with me? Is this the real me? Is this what real happiness feels like? Why am I crying? I am healing. My body feels it. My heart can't take it, it's not used to this beautiful feeling..

Feeling like I’m giving too much to a man who no longer loves me.
Do i stay?
Or should i do him the favor and walk away?

Saved memories,
Like the last text being sent.
As if it were yesterday,
When I felt my heart drenched.
Falling to the grown,
As the words "friends" came about like a song you hate on replay.
As if everything about that night,
You forgot it.
But rather remember,
You trembled,
As you try to go up the brick steps,
That seem so hard to overcome,
Because you didn't want to let go,
But rather let go,
You let yourself go.
As the blades slit the parts,
That are unknown and hidden,
So that they'll never be seen,
Rather than slow,
You cut deep and fast,
So the pain can last,
Just a little while longer,
As the words friends keep coming into play,
Like a song you hate on replay.

Lord said that I'll be okay.. Should I trust him? Or should I give myself away?

Never felt beautiful in her own skin,
She find ways,
To make her look like them.
The girls he adored,
The girls he prefered.
She drinks her shakes,
Checks how much she weighs,
Each day, to see if she gained or lost weight.
Hoping for more of this and less of that,
Flatter tummy,
Bigger ***.
But is appearance really that important?
Questions being asked to herself,
As she's on the machines,
Staring at the mirror,
Seeing fat, and guts,
When really she weighs nothing..
118 pounds,
She weighs nothing..
Feeling beautiful,
So her own,
Can look at her,
And make her feel beautiful,
And not looks others,
And wishing that she looked like that,
Those girls with much more.
Her skin becoming different,
She's not looking the same,
She sees it in her face,
But too her it's beauty,
And with beauty comes pain,
At least that's what she says.
So Who am I to stop her,
She already has her eyes on they.

Tell me why the **** should I give a **** about the man who broke my heart?

As if I shouldn't be broken, and falling apart!

Tonight I write my wrongs.
Let someone who didn't love me,
Destroy me mentally and emotionally.
I ran to another that one night,
I needed love.
I needed to feel like everything was okay.
Like somebody cared for me.
That night I laid there in silence,
What's done is done.
Going to ****** for pleasure,
Trying to find something that was close to feeling like what I felt for you.
You.
You destroyed me into pieces,
And I ask myself why can't I forget you.
When you no longer need me,
Lord this man doesn't even love me.
Lord why Did i make this mistake,
Lord why are you punishing me.
I'm vulnerable,
And he knows how to speak,
When I am feeling weak,
The only man I've ever went too,
Because his love went through me like quick sand.
Lord my petals that were grewing in me,
are dying
Because I forgot to love it,
Lord my body is changing because of it.
Lord I slept with this man,
Whom I know isn't the man I want to be with,
But rather feel as if he loves me,
Knowing he only loves me
When his devils horns reach in me.
Lord why are you guiding me into the direction that I know will make me suffer.
God why aren't you showing the signs that I need,
For me to move forward.
Lord why are you letting me pretend as if I am strong,
When you know I am weak.
God hear me.
Lord please **** me.

Beach view with a notebook in my hand, writes deepest thoughts. Continues til sunrises.

Goodmorning.

She's scared to put her trust into another mans hands.
Sick of being played and being taken as a fool.
She has so much to give, but no one to give it too,
Knowing she's worth more, than she's been taking, And she knows he lost another diamond,
how he misses the way when he use to woke up to you.❄️
-MarieLove

Im in a happy place right now.
No more tears, no more depression, no more sadness.
Thank you God.
For those people who left,
Because I realize that there bad presence,
Was discouraging.

She's a spitting image of him,
She hates it.
Going to the bottle,
As if it's the last resort.
She tends to get tense,
Over little things,
It doesn't make sense,
All she knows,
Is that she is a spitting image of him,
And she hates it.
But you created her,
And for that,
She is thankful.
But she is becoming so numb,
She is been broken.
She can't talk,
She's frozen.

I hope this isn't..
she's sorry.

#Tobecontinued

He held her,
It wasn't you.
He kissed her,
It wasn't you,
He laid her head on his chest,
And it still wasn't you,
He entered her world,
She wanted to believe it was always you.

She saw something in me,
That today,
I don't know if I can be that..
She got on her knees,
And prayed for me.
When I started getting violent..

Love is such a mystery. This feeling is so uneasy. .

Ever met someone who made you feel alive again?
Made you smile again?
And by smile, I really mean.
That real smile.
Every felt like someone loves you for you?

He lost the attraction,
So he found it with another.

Love is precious,
She admits it,
But every time she gave a man her love,
She regrets it.
As she lets them take a tour,
Of her art,
That's when she felt it,
Lost of control,
The distraction,
Only her work of art,
Gave them the attention.

To be continued ...

Don't be discourage by the good man trying to take his place,
There not all the same,
He isn't here to play.
Trust him, hear me will you, if you can.
He said let me have a chance,
As he kissed you on the forehead,
Before you laid side by side in his brand new bed.

I've been through more than you think. Don't mistake that with what you see, when you look at me.. My eyes tell more than the smiles in my laugh. I'm hurting deep down, I'm just wearing this mask..

She would of had your baby,
But she wasn't ready to have a family,
With a man like you.

Had a miscarriage.
There's no replacing you.
my rose petals.

She doesn't trust herself in a room
All alone.
As she picks up the object in her hand,
And let's it go,
To stop the pain,
Let it drip away.
Red tears falling on to the floor.
She's said sorry about a thousands times,
But she still continues,
Red tears dripping,
From her battles scars,
She had mark upon her own.
She is sorry.

She don't sleep,
She don't eat much.
Imagining life with you in it,
She can't see that vision.
Since you are no longer here

So much anger
I hate him
I love him
I don't need him
But I want him
He doesn't care
I'm selfish
Hard headed
We're so much alike
We bump heads
We fight
We make love
He's mine
I'm his
We love
Feelings can't compare to him
It's like a roller coaster
We're the only ones on the ride
We stare at the sky
This love is so high
This angry, in between
Us..
When we are not together
Tells us more
Then just a simple hint
The feeling on your lips, kissing down my hips
The way your hands feel,
Exploring.
Upset without you
Smiling with you
This love is a crazy one
We both say
As we kiss each other
Goodnight ..
Because that's the only way
We can fall asleep ..
You hold me close
Squeeze me tight
I get upset
I don't like to be squeezed
You laugh
I laugh back
You smile at me
I smile back
You stare at me
So blankly
But so in love
I say what
You say nothing
That you just love me
I say it back
You kiss me
I kiss you back
And those angry feelings
Go away.
Because with you
Is when I'm the happiest.

She let her self go,
Once again she's so sorry.
But she's lost,
She needs guidance.
She feels disgusted,
She doesn't want to be reminded,
She's trying so hard not to fight it,
It's too late,
She already let them in,
They forced her.

Emotions flooding.
I feel the body tension rising,
As I do these exercises,
To calm the heart down,
From beating out of my chest.
As the tears roll down my face,
With no reason as to why,
I find it harder to control myself.
Removing myself,
Before things get worst.
Tonight will be a handful,
I shall sleep,
Befofe this angry becomes a curse.

Don't let the emotion drip,
I know there's times like this,
That'll end up
With scars upon your wrist.

The pain in her chest,
She feels his hands on her flesh,
Words being spoken,
but no one notices,
Face being pressed against her pillow,
Hoping she'll stop losing air,
And stop breathing.
She speaks to the man above,
Yelling please remove this sudden rush that is going through her body,
Water already flowing,
She is already chin deep,
Wanted to feel wanted,
Be held,
She's so confused,
Memories of that one night,
She wasn't amused,
She couldn't of chosen you,
She went into the wrong shoes,
Showed up at his door,
Started to take it off,
He gently unstrapped her bra,
They tied together like roots,
She laid there..

And she laid there..
laid there some more..
she knew.
she knew she was weak,
But this weak,
Wasn't just any weak,
How could of this had happened to she,
She laid there..

She felt the rush,
She was stuck,
She hurried to put her clothes on,
She stood there..
and she stood there some more..

*** was the symbol she had emotionally imprinted on her heart,
The only way, they seen her,
Was if they looked at her heart,
Seen nothing but a naked body,
So she could feel loved once again,
She stood there..
and she stood there some more..

How could It be,
The women I knew so **** well,
Was turning into mold,
Collecting dust,
Rotten,
Poison,
She's going unnoticed,
Who is she,
Standing before me,
Who is she.
She stood there..
And she stood there some more...

I remember when you told me things would be different. As The prints of your palms would be on my neck. I remember when you told me that you loved me, when you did it. When those nights seem so long, so careless. As the banging on the window became louder, because the sound of a ball being hit against it, those not knowing it wasn't a ball, but rather my head. You told me that you loved me, so it was love too me. Not knowing I was visiting, the pathway to heaven sooner than I realized. Until it was too late.

That one song that just takes the words out of your mouth,
Like it was meant for you.
As if you wrote the song,
Or your mind controlled it.
Songs have more meaning to a person than you think.
It's the way they sing it,
It's what being said in the lyrics.
To the sounds, to the instruments,
That one song,
That you hear,
Here and there and you automatically
Remember the reason why you started to listen to that song the first time you heard it.
That one song is your savior.

Wasn't I enough? Maybe I gave you too much..
It's the way you make me feel,
All alone, even though you're right next to me.
My chest bursting,
The feeling of holding back these tears
Because you are near, I don't want you to hear.
Was I ever good enough? Was I worth it?
Was I too much?
I cared, didn't I?
I loved you, I did.

Maybe my love wasn't good enough after all.
Since you are gone.

She got out the shower, she puts that little dress,
That she likes,
Partynextdoor playing in the background,
She sees herself in the mirror,
Does that little move she loves to do,
Let's the music fill her up,

Body changing,
Gaining weight.
I know this is because of you,
Sorry that I couldn't hold you.
But mommy loves you.

Depression will never leave you.
It's part of you.
It's become you.
No matter how happy you are,
There will always be a day,
A night,
A morning,
Where it comes and hunts you.
Not because you are weak,
Nor because you are hurting.
But because it's already in you.

You're the reason why I'm broken. The reason why everyone that comes, I push away.
If it wasn't because of your mistreating and bad habits, I would love so differently.
Because of you, I tried to be perfect.
I tried to love.
Tried to make sure you was okay, before I made sure I was.
Said sorry, for every little thing you said I did wrong.
Even when you was wrong,
My sorry's spoke.
I would never understand, why I waited so long to see your wrongs.
I was blinded by the way my heart wanted to make it work,
Another chance.
But it knew.
Yes it knew..
That you was the reason for my returning depression.
The reason why I tried killing myself, back when you were leaving.
This isn't just a feeling.
This is who I've become.
Because of you.
The same reason why I changed into someone I hope never became.
I don't know what else to say. .

it takes time for someone to realize that happiness comes from within and not because of someone else.
doubt comes from within, but does it also come from someone else?
there is nothing wrong with being afraid of falling in love,
being hurt,
but yet we tend to put our walls up in fear wondering if we shield ourselves, no one can notice the little cracks in my wall,
in order to break me down.
I know what it is like to be lied too,
I know what it is like to make yourself feel strong,
and at night trying to figure out the pieces as to why this has happened to you,
and not them.
hating yourself for the mistakes they created,
pointing the fingers at yourself,
saying sorry when it is them that should be the one.
it is all a game, and you are the one playing it without consent.
he took my soul and manipulated it,
so he can grasp what he wanted,
he took my love and swept the life out of me,
so i no longer can feel a thing,
filled my lungs with smoke,
i couldn't breath.
i never once felt a thing,
when he was inside of me.
how could have he loved me?
that's what he said too me.
he loved me,
time..
time is what it took for me to realize,
his love..
his love..
his love..
wasn't meant for me,
meant for me,
meant for she.
i laid in my death bed,
saying goodbye to the old me,
thanking you,
for making me realize,
that with time,
time.
time..

everything can change.

Some things are better left unsaid,
Unknown.
As I wish I didn't know,
What I know about you and her.
It's not a secret no more,
Since the story has been told,
Kept behind closed doors,
Thought you was being faithful,
Lately you've been lying,
Dragging my heart around the floor.
I'm not as important,
As I once was to you before.
Should of kept it to yourself,
But these deadly secrets will be discovered on its own.

What if she tells you that she isn’t happy?
That every night she cries in silence,
Because of you?
What if she tells you that she wishes she was dead,
Maybe the feeling of feeling alone, will walk away.
She seems okay,
That’s what everyone says.
You don’t even notice the pain she’s dealing with,
Inside.
You look at her, and see right through her.
Never taking the time to treasure her.
Another man loves her.
hes willing to do the things,
You arent doing.

She wanted him to show his heart, and and say he loved her.
He spoke the magic words,
And the same night he ****** up.
Now she wide open..

You can say she's use to the blade,
As its scraping off her flesh,
She feels pleasure,
As the floor gets wetter,
With the ache-ness of her body.

Are you willing to love her naked? When she is most vulnerable, hands on her knees, yelling lord please. are you willing to break down her wall, see what’s on those floors? Asking herself are you going to love me, if i stood here naked? Trusting herself with you, she’s trying to find some closure, you hold on to her a little closer, she’s feeling the exposure. Naked.