Fourteen years is what it took,
To find out why this is how I look.
Compared to mom, dad, nana and pops,
Why all my cousins act as if I deserve mops.
An outcast of the family most of my life,
To only find comfort in my knife.
Silver blades and scars that stay,
Almost took my life away.
****** people and a mean mind
make me wonder if it's my time.
To stand up or sit back,
To save myself or fade away.
Fourteen years is what it took
To take a look
And see you are the poisen in me.

I love him, I love him
Those are the words I can no more deny
I love him, I love him
My soul fights them; yet my heart rejoices in them
They are the veins, lungs and living blood
of my sky;
they are the mirth of my night; merit of my poems;
and conscience to my being.

I loved him yesterday;
As the warm clouds came to greet me night and day
I love him today;
With feelings that might just be too hard to say
And I'll love him tomorrow;
Where my breath will be bathed in chilly piles of snow

Then I'll love him endlessly
As long as I breathe; and my senses are but awake
When all the other lovers are fake!
My life is for him solely to take;
and my love born for him to make.
He whose charms are real, benign and tender
He who is my destiny and truest wonder
I loved him last night, this morning, and again
Beneath the fierce stars and the deep showering rain
I loved him that day, but still I love him now;
and amongst our young, bountiful grace
just like here and now; I shall but love him forever.

Walking on shattered beer bottles from the night before
Ducking under every head beam that grazes my hair as I pass
I wonder when you’ll understand
How us normal people function

I am passion

You are death
You are darkness
You are alone
And forever will be

I’ve tried to show you the way
Where people are nice and in love
You choose your way though
Because to you, it’s the only way

I wonder when you’ll open your eyes.
When you finally let the happiness into your heart
I know I won’t be there for it.

I hope one day you realize how badly I tried
All I wanted was a smile, a kiss
But you were disgusted,
Disgusted with love.

Maybe it’s just me
But my sudden need for adivan says otherwise
I can’t relax, I can’t love, I can’t be
With you

As badly as I want to, I know it’ll never work
I love you with every piece of my body, soul, mind and heart
But you’re killing me
From the inside out

I don’t know how much more time I have.
Last night I woke up gasping for air.
You’re crushing my chest, my lungs
My heart.

I wish you could feel the pain I feel.
What you do to me, its torture.
A battle between reality, love, emotions and words

I’ll never give up
I won’t die a zombie.

A heartless, cold, self-centered, narcissistic, overbearing,
Overwhelming, condescending *****

That’s the best way I can describe you.

I sit in class, the same as every day
But my head is so far away—
I sit propped up, as if I am paying attention—
My face is pressed into the palm of my hand,
As my mind wanders off, into its own world.

I can be happy here—
It’s everything I imagined,
Because it’s exactly what I imagined—
No more teachers, no more parents, friends, enemies
Just myself, and the sound of pure uninterrupted silence.

I lay back, with my eyes closed—
And now I will do nothing but listen.
I listen, and listen, but continue to hear silence.
It causes me to question everything I know…

Life.
God.
You.

What does happiness feel like?
Where can I find it?
I continue to question, until all of a sudden—
I can feel it—
The answer…
Pushing and shoving its way out,  
Frozen on my tongue, closer and closer.
I can taste it, finally I will know…

And as fast as it comes, I lose it,
Back to the silence.
The bell rings, and I wake up—
Class dismissed.

Whispers in my ear
a draught tiptoed silently up the stairs
telling me snow is on the way.
There is conflict on my window pane
Nothing ever stays the same
Maybe it will one day.

This time my alarm has a panic attack
just as I was about to hit the sack.
pointing to the window at the snow
lying around my window sill.
It is about ten degrees below
and the air around me sits still.

The air now around me is in panic mode
And the burden for it is such a heavy load.
I bury myself deep inside my bed
hoping that when I awake it will be gone.
But I cant hibernate, after all done and said
It has just struck midnight roll on one.

It may be getting warmer soon
the apple logs in the fire spit a tune
firing cinders to the back of the fire.
The heat melting ice around my room
I can see snow hanging on the telegraph wire
When daylight comes it will be gone quite soon.

Throughout the night, various events take place.
The ducks have a rosy look on their face
as they slip and slide on their favourite haunt
Birds become trapeze artists on the icy wire
The worms locked in ice unable to get caught
and my feet are being slowly roasted by the fire.

Like chestnuts warming in the pan
Crispy skins on baked potatoes crackle
Hot cheese drips from the saucepan ladle
My mouth waters hungry but dry
Hot chocolate bubbles on the cradle
and the wind stops whistling and I sigh.

oh the joy of something velvety and hot
Drinking chocolate, dark and sweet.
Melting a magic in my cold blue veins
My fingers embrace my mug, steam warms my brow
The heating system channels the correct lanes
and I feel the air  lot warmer now.

The snow around my window hugs the sill
Sealing in the warmth on its own free will
Cosy toes wiggle in sheer delight
There is a smile trying to brighten my face
Everything has been forgotten from last night
Negative turns to positive but watch this space.

Feeling the box I work in closing in on me during winter’s last gasp,
She has dug in her heals refusing to yield to warmth.
Unmerciful and unrepentant in her bitterness,
she taunts and tortures us all.

Yet, spring birds sing of spring as a lover sings of her man.
The sun struggles to break through the dark grey,
melting away the dim cold
and drabness that surrounds all.

How, do I love thee?

Why, nothing more and nothing less than the cool winters eve.

Nothing less than the sunset colored leaves that hath lied on the newly forsaken ground.

Nothing more than the perfect blue sky that hath yet to call hither the waning clouds of storm.

And yet; thou ask again; how do I love thee?

And this time, I freely answer, words soft in a forgotten mouth,

‘I love thee as I love a strong spring day and an easy winters' morn.

I love thee as though thee art the rarest thing in the world.’