i spend a lot of time thinking about setting myself on fire
i used to hold hot irons to my forearms
i am no stranger to feeling cold
i often feel cold
i spend a lot of time thinking about setting myself on fire

white sheets in a strange room
dim lights, bright eyes.
i love it when you **** me, i love it when you're inside of me.

i feel like a sunburn waiting to happen
and my teeth have looked so white lately.

i let you see my body last week;
every part (or as much as i could fit in a 4 inch screen)
and my teeth have looked so white lately.

i drove to your old house today
and even though i KNEW your family
had moved out and that
you were still in Europe i looked to see if the front light was on
(it wasn't).
there were white christmas lights framing the door i used to wait at
while you ran 30 minutes late for everything and i chain smoked and
hoped i'd get to see your mom soon.
i couldn't tell if those horrible neighbors who wanted to put your dog down
still lived next door but i hope they do
and that the people who moved in to your old house
are horrible and those people have to suffer at their expense.

i am here sitting quietly doing nothing but
thinking
and i can see vividly in my head the color of your birthmark
(and i can feel myself crying)
do you remember mine?
do you remember my scars and coldsores and bruises?

you like a girl with teeth too big to fit into her mouth
(i'm glad i grew out of my buckteeth)

i love going to the dentist and always do my homework on time.
but,
i am bad at remembering to brush my teeth at night and i smoke
so they're yellow
and reading on a computer makes my eyes hurt.
but,
i somehow always get perfect marks on my homework and
my medical records
so how badly can i really be doing?