Hey you
Yes you the one reading this poem
It's currently 2:51 in the morning
in my part of the world
You are probably wondering why I am up so late
Truth is my heart is breaking
I am currently in my bed crying
wishing I was in a cabin surrounded by snow
because snow always makes me feel better
As I sit here typing I realize I am not the only one
up so late crying my eyes out
I'm sure whoever is reading this is up late because
you either can't sleep,
you are also hurting emotionally,
you are thinking about doing something permanent to yourself,
you're thinking about pointless **** from years ago
or you are probably one of those people who prefers to
be awake when it's dark out
Despite your reason for being up so late
I am glad you are because I have something to say
that you really need to hear
Now what I say may shock you but
it needs to be said
Are you still reading?
Good
You are one ******* bad ***
You are a soul who blows minds with your awesome personality
Whatever negative ******* you have running around
inside your head right now is a lie
Anything negative that is making you upset right now
is temporary
You were put on this earth for a reason
There is something inside of you that is just begging
to be released that has the potential to change lives
Whatever you are going through
a break up,
an argument with a best friend,
a set back,
an addiction,
a job loss,
death of a loved one,
whatever you are going through right now
is going to get better eventually
It may not happen tonight,
tomorrow,
next month,
next year
or longer than that but even though it hurts
and I know this sounds cliche
pain has a way of opening unexpected doors for us
Pain helps us grow and teaches us amazing things about ourselves
If you want to stop reading this now you can
I hate hearing positive things when I'm upset too
because when I'm hurting it feels like things will never
get better but they do
It takes time
It can feel lonely sometimes when we are hurting
because we think no one else can feel as awful as we
do right now
However some where far away maybe in another country
someone is fighting a battle no one knows about
and they are crying too
What I am trying to say is right now even if you are
by yourself you are not alone
Anything hurtful someone has said to you is a lie
You are greatness
You are beautiful
You have a heart that deserves to be loved unconditionally
and if you are up late because you want to hurt yourself
please don't
Someone out there wakes up everyday just to see your smile
Someone out there gets butterflies just by hearing your laugh
and even though it's hard to believe sometimes
someone loves you so much
and the world is a much better place with you in it
Whatever demon you are battling tonight
I hope you know you got this
You are strong
You are lovely
You are inspirational
You are meant to be here
That much I know
So do whatever you have to do tonight
cry, write, listen to the same song on repeat,
yell into a pillow, meditate, dance, watch a comedy
whatever makes your heart soar do that
Make the choice to give life another shot
It's 3:21 in the morning now
My face burns from my tears but
I am far from being done crying
I may cry for the rest of the night
and that's okay
I would rather feel my pain
then pretend it doesn't exist
I hope you get some sleep tonight
If you don't then I hope your day tomorrow is an easy
nonstressful day
It's Friday
Fridays should never be stressful
I love you
I care about you
Oh and one more thing
YOU MATTER!
Goodnight beautiful bad *****!
I look forward to your smiles

I was born in California
and raised in Arizona
yet neither one of those places are home to me
Milwaukee, Wisconsin is my home
Milwaukee is where I took my first real breath
after coming to terms that I was now a person
living with a mental illness
Milwaukee is where I took my first steps as an adult
Milwaukee is where I found my love for writing
on the floor of my walk in closet
on South 28th street
Milwaukee is where I fell in love for the first time
lost my virginity and got my heart smashed to pieces
and even though I was hurting
I never gave up on the belief in love
Milwaukee is where I smoked my first cigarette
Milwaukee is where I bought my first Mayday Parade
album after cutting the **** out of my legs
in my father's basement
Milwaukee is where I met snow for the first time
at age two and 23 years later I swear
I can remember the feeling I had
when I touched it
Milwaukee is where I discovered my favorite coffee flavor
at the Starbucks on Howell Avenue
Milwaukee was where I dyed my hair black
and began my journey to finding out who I was
as a person
Milwaukee is my battlefield
in which I fought demons I never thought
I would have to fight
It's where I tasted betrayal, abuse, anger, depression
and anxiety for the first time
It's also where I contemplated suicide
and almost went through with it
I've endured hell in Milwaukee
but it's where I persevered
It's where I got tough
It's where my broken heart healed
It's where I looked my demons straight in the face
and yelled  "TRY ME *****!"
Milwaukee is where I grew as a person
in ways I never thought I could
Milwaukee is more than a city most people pass through
on their journey to somewhere else
Milwaukee is a part of my soul
that I am far from ashamed of
My birth certificate may say I am from California
but Milwaukee, Wisconsin is where I'm really from
Its my home
and no one can tell me differently

I can't get it out of my head
the image of him ******* her
in the same bed we made love in
over and over again
Through the love we shared
we developed a closeness
I have never experienced
with anyone else before
Seeing you in her as she grabbed onto you
the way I have just tore me apart
I can still hear him calling her name
as he came inside her
and knowing it wasn't my name he was calling
just made the hole in my heart hurt that much more
I stood there in disbelief
as the man I built a life with for five years
threw it all away for some ****
he met in a bar while I was out of town
What's worse was his reaction
when he noticed my presence in the doorway
he looked like he had never seen me before
As I ran out of the room
I could hear him chasing after me as he apologized
over and over again
as if he made some tiny mistake
IT WASN'T A MISTAKE
HE CHEATED
HE TURNED HIS BACK ON US
AND THE PROMISE HE MADE
FOR A QUICK ****
With every apology I grew angry
I was angry that he was standing before me
naked with her scent and lying to me
He wasn't sorry
He made a choice
a choice that destroyed what we had
The special love we once had
was tossed away
the moment he made the choice
to **** another woman
You don't ever get over a betrayal like that