I need you
I need you to not get angry with me
when I am feeling an emotion you don't understand
I need you to be patient with me
I have no clue what is going on with me
I have no idea why I get so upset for no reason
I need you to not judge me
When I gain the courage to tell you something is bothering me
don't tell me to get over it because I can't
I need you to not yell at me when I am not making sense
yelling at me only scares me and makes me think that I am bothering you therefore I shut down
I need you to hug me
I know all of the advice tips already
sometimes I just need to feel okay instead of being told that I am okay
I need you to listen to me
I don't want to hear about mistakes I am making when I feel like one every **** day
I need you to encourage me
This battle is so lonely
it's scary
it's uncomfortable and I need someone to cheer me on
I need someone to tell me that I am doing alright
I need you to not shut me out
when my anxiety is too intense and I don't have the energy
to express how I truly feel I need you to not walk away
and treat me like I am some disgusting human being you wish you had never met
I need you to reassure me that you are there for me
even though you have no idea how to make me feel better
I need you to not give up on me
I know I am difficult and I am nothing like you wished I would be
but the truth of the matter is I have depression and anxiety
I didn't choose this
Why would I choose this?
I didn't choose the life of racing thoughts,
marks on my skin,
obsessions about things that shouldn't even be an obsessions,
always questioning people's words and actions,
not being able to leave the house without feeling like I want to throw up,
sleepless nights because of **** that happened years ago
I DID NOT CHOOSE THIS!
I DO NOT WANT THIS BUT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT!
I AM TRYING TO BE NORMAL!
I AM TRYING MY BEST TO BE BETTER BUT I CAN'T DO THIS BY MYSELF!
I NEED YOU!
Please...I need you...