you are fragile
and the boy in the year above you calls you fat
and the girl in the row behind says you look like a rat
and you sit and think about it for a few minutes
minutes turn to hours, hours turn to days
and soon you've lost track of the last time you ate
and soon you've become obsessed with your weight
you forgot what colour your skin used to be
because your arms are covered in red lines
and you cry all the time

you are fragile
and the girl in the hospital bed groans
she is short and she is thin,
skin and bones
this girl is you
and there is only one thing you need to do
but again, all you can do is cry
all you hear the doctor do is sigh
you hear the boy in the year above has died
drunk with a car, an upsetting fate
and the girl in the row behinds period is late
when was the last time you ate?

you are fragile
and the man in the street smiles
he stares for a while
he soaks up any sadness
laughs at your jokes
you are happy -
madness
you remember what colour your skin was
and the last time you ate
because he has fixed you

*you are not fragile

peeled me like
a citrus fruit
waiting to ooze
and digest
inside of you

severed hands
that used to clasp
turned to ash
blown away on hot air
eyes pooling upon the horizon
//                  
this is the world
when a heart weeps.

i found your spirit
laying at my feet
upon the ground
it was a tattered sheet
transparent threads
shreds of a spider web
i gathered in my arms
careful as glass
a sad mess
your sorry soul
i found it
i loved it
and i knew it was mine

I touch you all of the time
hoping maybe one day it'll feel
like something more than not him
Because I'm numb to every hand
that isn't attached to his wrist
I wanna love you, I do
But I'm sick
Jaded like an illness
That eerie frustration when your voice
distorts itself in my mind;
Melts into the rhythm and tone of his
& all I can hear are all of the things that he's said
And just like that you are gone
Swallowed by a sea of lingering memories
Like a shadow over everything
I'm looking but I don't see you
I wanna love you, I do
But I'm not falling for you
I'm just searching for a glimpse of him
in the glimmer of your patient eyes

There is a steel cage that holds my insides
No one goes through
No one comes out

Chalk, felt, feather-pens.
construction paper ends
glued to gift you a shift in-
to happiness:
You need bliss.
You don't have bliss.



I can give you this.

but really i was always too afraid to say
"be my tonight and you'll be my tomorrow"
and i don't know how long forever is but
we can find out,
right?

Maybe we need to see each other bleed again
In order to regain the awe we once held for one another.
I think we need a reminder.

You've embraced me after seeing my tears
And yet now you have no problem igniting them
Releasing them from the side of me you once feared
Have you forgotten the darkness I kept hidden?
This is your reminder.

In case you missed the anger I tried not to unleash,
I'll let it out from its cage to give you a small kiss.
This is your reminder.

The first time I met you I was filled with nothing but hate,
I don't know how I came to love you.
Maybe I need a reminder.

                 *-lf-