It was a mistake,
We both made it.
We both have consequences.
Relationships can't dictate our lives.
We can still function even though it may not be exactly the same.
Remember the restriction is only temporary.
Hold on with me please.
We can go back to the way things were,
I'm telling you it's just a rough patch,
I promise.

I woke up with my arms boa constricted around my pillow,
Superstition says that it means you miss someone.
For six weeks it's been about the distance of the speed of light for us.
When we are far away with the switch turned off we worry,
Or we are scared,
Something is just out of place.
When we are with eachother,
The switch turns on and feelings are there instantly.
Ever since I've been suction cupped to my parents rules,
I've stopped walking over to your house.
It's haulted me from being myself.
You say you have patience?
I hate to be testing it,
But let's wait these restrictions out.

What happened.
I wish the summers clock would turn clockwise and take me back to those moments.
What happened to the 7 hour facetime calls,
The '**** yea i'll come over I'd love to see you',
The 'I'll chase you endlessly' attitude.
Where did the boy who used to build shrines of me go.....
You used a piece of my torn up Jean shorts to worship me.
Why can't you pick me up early in the morning,
Draw me those cute 'Shel Silverstein' type poems and pictures.
How am I supposed to have a morning without them.
I look back into my Box of Your things
See nothing but summers and
Spoken word showcases,
Nothing but memories of pushing me into a bush covered in snow,
When we used to walk arm in arm,
And tell our little stories.
Take me back to the moment when we were in the CVS,
You brought me three flowers,
no bigger than the size of my little finger,
You got down on one knee,
Held them up,
And jokingly asked 'will you marry me.'
Tell me why I still have those,
Tell me why I took it seriously, and kept them.
As the flower flakes it's petals so did the contents of the relationship,
I'm not allowing it to end up a Beauty and the Beast fairytale,
So I guess you've grown up...
Hormones changing,
Development in the mind happening,
Why does it have to change the availability gauge.
So you have been holding back your true feelings,
and you broke some news to me.
You weren't too happy with the relationship,
It didn't feel equal on account to a collective sort of people.
Change.
That's a big word.
We all change,
And it all means something.

'Keep your chin up kid',
shake hands with your shadow,
the gum that sticks to the bottom of your shoe is the stuff your stuck with.
Don't go picking it off because once it's gone you have nothing to stick to.
It's simple.

I will muffle tears behind colored speakers, image is everything.

I 'am' happy
there is just some parental tension and stress and a constant struggle on trying to momentarily please people who are sticking there two cents down my throat slots.
Cha-Ching goes Maddie and they've hit the jackpot of hurling cold hard attitude.

I think I'm crazy.
The space by me is *spinning,
and I'm seeing stars.

© Matthew Harlovic