to love and not be loved in return
what a curse
that hurts
which makes my heart burst

These days have been have felt like I am stuck in a Stanley Kubrick film
Just normalizing the traumatic events
I am looking for someone who is heaven sent
Who would let me vent
And sit in my tent of emotions
Dealing with all this commotion
Of the world falling
I need something calming

if anyone knew how much i cry
they would see that my tears would
fill up oceans
because of my pent up emotions
it’ll make waves and have them crash
causing a commotion of distress
or maybe even creating a hurricane
out of all the pain
but when life’s a mess
what’s there to gain ?

i wish i had some guidance
someone to take me the right way
give me directions
i'm stuck in this maze
i'm in a daze
counting down the days
to get over this phase

at times i feel like i'm going to erupt
like a volcano
or crumble like the berlin wall
or be like humpty dumpty
and take a fall
or break into pieces like the berlin wall
but instead i stand strong like an oak
not this time i will not choke

my heart yearns for a place
where i get to call "home"
it'll be my own
just me all alone
where i can learn things and make things
be home grown
somewhere i won't feel unknown
where i can be sitting on my throne
and nothing will be destroyed like a cyclone

these days i have realized that loneliness is underrated
i have become it's mother , nurtured it
maybe even sister and brother
i have learned it's innocence
loneliness and i have grown so fondly of each other
it loves me the way no one has loved me before
it clings onto me
like a new born holds onto its mother
maybe even become it's lover
crashing into each other like rapid waves
or even drowning , maybe even dragging each other down
oh sweet loneliness
such a bitter sweet feeling
it has learned me in ways no has ever done
i wonder when will it be gone
but will this be the end
or have we become one ?
have i become lonely or has loneliness become me ?
are something? have we become a "we"?