i fell in love with
the idea of you.

your dark, messy
unkempt hair.
your black eyes that
curve into
crescent moons
and are guarded behind glass.
your endearing laugh,
your unusual talents
and fearlessness.

but perhaps if i
peeled back the
layers of secrecy and humour,
your front,
i'd find a
vulnerable you,
a lost and afraid little child.
maybe that's why
i'll only fall for
the idea of you, and not you.

maybe i'm only in love with the
train rides and
inside jokes and
candid moments unseen by you but
ingrained forever in my mind.
those little quirks that are so you yet,
not.

and if you ever knew this,
you'd combust into a million pieces.
you'd fall into the deep abyss of
uncertainty, curiosity
and the world around you
would get even more crazy.

but i can't seem to let you go,
you're a burning field i'd want to lie in still.
right now,
you're the adrenaline in my body.
it's like you're pulling me into the depths
yet pulling me out
and i don't know who is stronger.

brittle bones cracked but not broken
bruised battered bloke but not dead yet

If I were to speak I would stutter
From fear, from tears, I couldn't utter -
A sound
In my head, that I never heard
Gunshots, gunshots
Hanging on every word
****** fountains
Mystery
Don't think there'll be more school for me
Raining on my brothers wedding
Crying, crying
Sun is setting
White dress -
Hoodie, stained with red
New life begins
Another ends

1417

How Human Nature dotes
On what it can’t detect.
The moment that a Plot is plumbed
Prospective is extinct—

Prospective is the friend
Reserved for us to know
When Constancy is clarified
Of Curiosity—

Of subjects that resist
Redoubtablest is this
Where go we—
Go we anywhere
Creation after this?

I wish this **** would end
This mass destruction
This mass corruption

I wish Pandora's box could be resealed
Not concealed
With rumors and lies

I wish that it would end
It's getting worse and worse
Pandora's box is blasting
The corruption is spreading and causing destruction
The terrible truth concealed With rumors and lies

I wish to grant my freedom with these bottle of pills
As I sit from the top of my prison hill