you don't have a home
you create a home inside of others
you built a home in me, you made me your home
to you home was wherever i was
in order to build a home you need an empty space
if theres no empty space you have to destroy, abolish, demolish everything in sight
[why so selfish?]
but i didn't mind
i let you destroy every part of my being
i let you build a home inside me
i let you replace my memories with lovely memories of us in that home
you never gave me the key to the front door
you knew my trembling hands could never pick the lock
the door was locked for a day
a week
a month
my heart pounds, my hands shake
[ youre gone, youre gone, i need to find you, you need the key, i need you]
my hands begin to feel weak
i fall to my knees
my heart beats faster
[i cant catch up]
you're gone
my ribs are bruised
my knuckles are sore
her home is an abandoned building
my soul is a ghost town

I am turning 18
On a cliff edge

I see nothing before me

If take one step forward I'm afraid I will fall
into a vast, empty desert

no path, no directions, no map to keep me safe

As a child I looked ahead, thought I'd known my way,
have it all figured out for the arrival of the day
Doctor, teacher, lawyer,
writer,
It seemed simple at the time

But I am turning 18
On a cliff edge,
and I'm terrified.

There's a craving in our skin,
a rhythm in our hearts
Our eyes flash, excitement sparks

when they meet
we are forced to smile

and I've felt this way for while.
First caught sight of you,
noticed how your eyes were blue,
your skin like milk, cool on the breeze,
your voice soft in the wind

I can't look away

Isn't this perfect, paradise?
Or merely a desire,
passing, blind, fading, physical,
Quick to melt with the sun
When the winter of our love
comes around?