i used to be independent
making every move on my own.
but now i seek help/guidance on everything i need done.
i wanna say i lost myself
but i don’t know where.
it’s almost as if the further i get away from you i slowly disappear.
it’s been years since i’ve even seen you, or heard your soft voice.
but i know you still think of me because you’ll check on me every few months.
i tell you i’m doing great because in reality i am.
but beneath the layers there’s pain that i don’t think anyone knows that’s there.
i try to stay busy and keep people near
but i have so much emotion that it’s hard to conceal.
i still run from my problems if you ever wondered
i don’t have the strength to face them head on.
i lost that in you and never regained that.
but one thing you did teach me is how to love deep and that is something i’ll never forget
just like you
i’ll never forget.

if i wrote my future
all would be changed
from the way i was raised
to the thoughts in my brain
if i wrote my future
no love would be lost
so i’d stand right beside you
no matter the cost
if i wrote my future
i’d bring nothing but peace
and save you from sorrow
and the darkness that creeps
if i wrote my future
you’d still be here
but you wrote my future
and i did nothing
but stare

look up,
you’ll see the stars
look down,
you’ll see the grass
look back,
you’ll see your past
look ahead,
you’ll see your future
me,
i see you
in every direction
you are there
always

you are not mine,
but sometimes
i pretend that
you wish you were

i created this dream
that you secretly
wanted me

but i often forget
its just something
i've made up

i look to the sky as if it has all my answers
the sunrise, the sunset, the stars
but what if it lays further then the eye
what if its what you feel when you look into the sky.