You're a ticking time bomb with a tight grip on my arm
We sunk down into the deepest end of the ocean
It's only seconds until we blow up
I can't breathe
And your eyes look like they're falling asleep
Two different creatures finding the nothingness at the bottom of the ocean
In the silence of the water, we will perish
And the rest of the world will hear nothing

I’m not sure if I’m making sense anymore.
I keep looking up how to feel
Feel happy
Happy is no longer a word
Words don’t mean anything unless you give it a meaning.
Meaning that I can’t breathe
Happy means I can’t breathe
You make me stop breathing
Breathing means that I am alive
So, happy means that I am alive.

sm

You have my bones in a choke hold
Even they’re brittle enough
I’m grasping at your ribs
Though I’m not sure if they’re bone or dust
The dust has turned into a sand in an abandoned desert
I am lost
I am so involved in your dissolved bones
I have buried myself deep
Yet this is not a place
But yet a small unhindered body that I can no longer find myself in

You were the boy who always kept his head down
Looking for the cracks in the pavement
and the lost constellations in the dirt
You never glanced up, and I never caught your eye
Because you were too busy trying not to trip
But what if I promised to catch you
And what if I promised I'd watch for those cracks
and when I found those constellations lose within the depths of the ground
We could share it over the stars and a few lost nights
of tossing and turning as our hearts beat
together over no sleep

Stop telling me you miss me
and saying how much you love me
because its not love anymore
its twisted and an upside down mirror
its like knifing your love
and thinking it’s okay
your bones are broken and so are mine
aren’t you tired of those nights?
aren’t you tired of tearing out your soul?
I know I am

How many times
Does your chest have to burn
And rot and bleed
Before someone notices
How happy you are
Rather than how sad you are

Thinking about the bruises
And the emotional digs
And the late nights
Of heaving chests and screaming
Screaming in my sleep while you slept with another
Take me away from you
And never let me see you happy
Because I wish you were rotting