How long will I weep bitter tears at the side of empty caskets?
Until I fall in one of my own to bed in a sleepless sleep.
And on the day that you find my empty eyes crying no more,
Who is it then that will have to weep?
Because as I stand now, you do not see that I am dying.
As I stand now, to you , I may as well already be dead.
You see the hollow in my smiles and you ignore it.
I fear I will lie alone when I lie in my eternal bed.
So take my body and feed it to an unquenchable flame
To signify all of the times you wished I would burn in hell.
Spread my ashes over the deepest ocean trenches,
When I sink, I know you will find bliss in my farewell.
Oh, how I have loved you all of these years, so blindly.
The secrets I've shared, the vulnerabilities I've bared
I thought you were the one person who would never hurt me
Indeed, I was youthfully naive and violently scared.
In my last moments, please, pull your dagger from my back
restore, at least partially, any dignity I have that may remain
Even now that I die, I cannot hate you entirely.
Part of me wishes to blame this on your need to inflict pain.