star - Hello Poetry

14h

lizie

i wish you were here
so i could tell you everything
without trying to make it sound okay.
just talk,
about things that matter
and things that don’t.
about why the sky feels too far away today
or how i’m tired for no reason.
i think if you were here,
the words would come easier.
or maybe i wouldn’t need so many.

star 3d

i like you

i like you 6.17.25 (8:36 pm / 10:36)
i like you
not that kind of like, i just like you
i liked you when you said hi to me
i liked you when you smiled and it looked real
really real
i like you because you care and you remember and you seem to know everything

i liked you when you said
this gives me hope for our future
i liked you when you told me it would be alright

i liked you when you laid beside me on the woodchips
my head on your shoulder
and we stared at the sky

i like you
you know what it is to be sad
and you remember kindergarten
feeling alone
afraid to ask for friends

i like you
can we be friends?

[playing: rain by cavetown offline]

hehehe

#love #friends

star 3d

goodbyes

goodbyes 6.17.25 (8:32 pm / 10:32)
goodbyes are never really slammed doors
they’re slipping away
walking away
willingly even though you still can’t understand why

they’re looking back over your shoulder
knowing that is the last you’ll ever see of them

goodbyes for me are never crying
just standing there
staring ahead with dry eyes
wondering what just happened

maybe i’m saying goodbye wrong

[playing: marjorie by taylor swift]

#goodbyes #loss #depression #sadness #love

star 3d

happy [tw]

happy 6.17.25 (7:35 pm / 19:35)
it’s so hard to learn to be the old me
a person who’d never seen the dark
and never touched the edges
and never been drowning

it’s so hard to learn to be better
so hard to forget the razor in the bathroom drawer
if you tested it
there’d be my blood

it’s so hard to stop
so hard to keep wearing long sleeves in the summer
so hard to ignore your strange glances
you’re right,
you were right when you said i’ve changed

it’s too hard to be happy

[playing: 2 hold u by clairo]

#depression #sh #death

3d

lizie

do not fall in love with people like me

do not fall in love with people like me.
i will destroy you
so beautifully
yet so quietly
that you won’t even realize you’re gone
until you are.

not because i want to.
because some part of me thinks loving me
is something you have to survive.

i will pull away
when all i want is to be pulled closer.
i will freeze
when you offer warmth.
i will try to disappear
just to see if you come looking.

and you will.
and that will break me
more than it ever breaks you.

so do not fall in love with people like me,
unless you can love someone
who is still learning
how to be loved.

3d

Kyla

searching for better

better is the biggest fairy tale of all time
the mirage in the desert before
a promised land i’ll never reach,
predestined to dwell in the wilderness
with my gloom my doom

i run i move in search of better
i cut i purge i cry
i therapy i forgive i help i give
i try
yet still better eludes me

#life #death #depression #hopeless #pain #sorrow #dark #light #better #live

star 3d

untitled

untitled (7:22 pm / 19:22)
i don’t want to live i want to die
what’s wrong with me
what did i do
it’s all my fault isn’t it

it’s so hard to go on
and for no reason
no reason other than myself

looking up overdosages of pain meds on incognito
or even antidepressants
but doctors, they’ve made sure i can’t do that

i want to die because then it’ll be peaceful
quiet
nothing
darkness
no one

#depression #sh #death