The heat the summer sun brought
to your skin makes me so jealous,
for she touched you and you
welcomed it willingly before me.
She left her mark and it’s all I can do
to keep from screaming- I wish I could
touch you, myself, but I am left standing
in the shade, watching your sunburns
come and go.

I laid with you until time carried
me away and then again, as I dreamt.
But, when I awoke, alone and no
longer in your arms, I cursed the universe
for not letting me stay with you a little longer.

beneath a blanket of stars
thicker than salt in the sea,
I sat and sat and sat watching,
stargazing and telling you
all my secrets and all my dreams
you took my face in your hands
and looked me in the eyes and said
by all means, “go, do, be.
“just so long as you change you to we.”

I was never one for the daylight,
rather a soul made for
the nighttime.
Stepping out
on the cold concrete, barefoot
to see the stars
was more my schtick than
was watching the sunset.

How could you ask me to sculpt for you a
poem out of pure stardust
only to turn your ear to the soft
humming of another?
I poured my heart out on the page for you and
you crumbled it up and tossed it off the bridge.
I just want to know, why?

Spacetime
underneath a veil of perfect midnight
velvet, you kissed me,
had me thinking I’d lost my mind
growing dizzier, dizzier, even dizzier,
I felt myself spinning out somewhere
lost in spacetime

Call it love at first sight, or even lust,
but know it for what it is - familiarity.
You see, the second I first locked eyes with you,
I realized I was missing an integral piece of myself.
I realized, you and I were made from the same stardust
and no matter what I do, I can’t shake the feeling
that the universe put us in this one spot in
space and time so that we could come
together to set fire to the skies.

My shoulders measure no more
than a foot across, left to right.
Your hands wrap around my wrists,
your fingers curling 'round with
length to spare.
You stand a whole head taller
than me, with an ego to match,
and a superiority complex,
if I've ever seen one.
But being smaller than you
doesn't make me anything less.
Being smaller, doesn't  make me
incapable, inferior, or insignificant.

I just take up less space.

You, however have proven
your worth time
and time again with every
remark you make
that belittles someone else
and it's all I can to
keep from saying how much
of a waste of space you are.

He sleeps with the air on, the sound in the background
somehow d r o w n s out the chaos around him.
She sleeps with him, beside her because the sound of
his breathing does the same.

Magnolia, delicate, debonair,
and dressed in shades of pink, white, and green.
Like a blushing bride, so fragrant, fair
and fragile, a very feminine queen.
You’re timeless and beautiful beyond words.
Others stand in awe, yet you do not see.
To think that you don’t know would be absurd
surely, you are aware of your own beauty
Let me tell you, Magnolia, one truth:
one day, you will grow out of that allure,
your petals will fall, and you’ll lose your youth.
A love for yourself, now, should be procured
For once it is gone, it will not return.
What once was should not be a flower’s concern.

perfect
hide
burning
breathe
dying
flinch
run
disappointment
usel­ess
wrong

These are just some words
that come to mind when
he does.

As it turns out, despite his
opinion, I was always the
first word and he was always
the last.

There is some kind of soft magic
in the way your hands glide
across my skin, half knowing,
and half discovering,
deciphering,
decoding all that I am.
The way you go straight to the heart
of the matter, yet in doing so,
you're perpetually awed both by
your new findings and by the
remnants of stardust you left
behind, last time.

I’ve known you for years,
never known you in person,
but I’ve known you.
Despite the fact that I am
madly in love with another,
despite that he very well could
be my soulmate,
despite how incredibly happy he
makes me,
I can’t help but smile when
I think of you.

Listening to those new songs brought
back old memories and future thoughts.
I remember slow dancing with you on
prom night and again at each banquet.
It felt like it was just you and there,
The rest of the world fell away- the music,
the lights, the rest of the room fell away
And it was just you and I.
There’s no need for thinking
and overthinking now.
The answer is crystal clear, even though
you have yet to ask.
Yes.

I want to feel like it’s just you and I forever.
I want to slow dance with you forever.

I wasn’t gluttonous, but for you, ravenous.
It was always lust, never true love.
You gave everything, I was greedy, still.
It wasn’t something for others to envy.
I took pride knowing you were mine.
How could I know that being a sloth,
I’d lose you to my heart’s wrath.

I never expected there to come so
much work with a breakup, but now, I
have all these things to dispose of
and all these memories to forget about.
I must patch the hole in my heart.
I must fix the calendar where it
says September 12th and I must figure
out something to do that day since there
is no anniversary without
you.

Sometimes I sit seaside
and think about you.
I think about the warm,
sun-kissed sand clinging to
my skin, and how much
warmer I’d be if it was you
instead of the sand.

Sometimes I sit seaside
and I think about you.
I think about the cool
breeze and how it tangles
my hair, slightly, and how
I’d rather it be you
leaving knots there
instead of my
heart.

Sometimes I sit seaside,
and I think about you.
I think about the smell
of the beach and it always
smells like you, saltwater
and sunscreen, and how
I’d give anything
to keep that scent in
a jar, in a candle,
just so I can be
reminded of you
even when I’m not
seaside.

In all my years,  I've heard only a handful of people say, "What doesn't **** you makes you stronger."

It might be because it's only half true.

It might be better to say, “What doesn't **** you makes you harder."

What doesn't **** you makes you harder:
-to tear down
-to betray
-to lie to
-to leave
-to forget

But it's a two-sided coin.

What doesn't **** you makes you harder:
-to get to know
-to trust
-to understand
-to get close to
-to remember

Don't be a wall, be a sea, for walls can be torn down, by raindrops alone,  and water is the strongest force on earth, yet gentle to the touch.

Your sapphire eyes rival the deep
morning sky, the abyssal depths
and the richest royal blue ever
hewn from the earth.

When I look into your eyes,
I see a sapphire sea, a sapphire
sky I could get lost in for years
if only, you’d let me.

Oh how bittersweet a moment such as this is, knowing never again
will I lay my lips on yours, cup my hand in your hand and wrap myself in your arms, only because you said, somehow from this
we can both be happy.

I do not understand, I will never understand.

I only said that if you were unhappy, I wouldn’t make you stay.

You must let go of that which you love, for keeping it and loving it will not make it love you in return.

I suppose sacrifices such as these are humbling.

They hurt, but remind me I am still human.

I kept the roses you gave me
on our first Valentine’s day
Even though they’re dried out now
and crumbling away
Somehow they smell even sweeter
even after all this time
And every whiff reminds me, I’m still
yours and you’re still mine.

Day after day,
sun after sun,
moon after moon,
you and I become one.

Grown together like roots,
our strength runs years’ deep.
I promise you my heart,
for yours to keep.

Entangled in your arms,
you I wrap around,
like roots of a great tree
deep in the ground.

Not the wearing of water
or the roaring of wind
could ever break us
in two again.

I get it, being in the driver’s seat means that you can do nothing but
stare forward, the whole way.

But I’m in the passenger seat and I’m just along for the ride.

I find calm in knowing even if I let the universe move me, I’m still moving.

I’m watching the orange skies and purple clouds pass overhead
without a worry in the world.

I wish you could see them, too.

Spring came and went with
the sweet smell of flowers
and the sound of chirping swallows.

Summer melted away beneath
the sun’s beating rays.
We watched her go slowly like
a sunburn fading to tan.

Fall flew by, like a leaf caught
by the autumn wind, gone without
so much as a whisper.

Now that winter is here, I am
left waiting for the next repetition,
but the days drag on, the cold lingers,
and time stands still beneath the snow.

Repetition everywhere
in bookshelves and tiled walls
and the yellow striped down the street.
Repetition everywhere
in staircases and stitches
and cornstalks.
Repetition everywhere
in tree-rings and theater seats
and blinds and whitened teeth,

Repetition everywhere.

For hours we have driven
down dusty, dirt roads passing
one after another, the rotting animals,
flattened to the pavement.
I count them, one, three, seven, ten.
It’s a means of passing time and
getting you off my mind, momentarily.

You sit in the passenger seat with the
map flattened against the dash and
your navy ball cap pulled low.
The roadkill becomes sidelined when
I realize, the dead animals are not the
ones running from something,
running from another greater animal,
a predator, only to meet death on this
decrepit highway.
I am the one running, driving seventy-five
miles an hour from a predator I cannot
escape no matter how fast I drive.
I am the prey.

The scenes outside the window no longer
tell a tale of death, but one of freedom,
freedom from the hunt, the chase.
You’ve mentioned before what you feel
for me, and though, we’ve known each
other for years, anything more than
friends would surely ruin us.
This little trip we took for summer
fun leads nowhere good, leads to a place
from which I doubt we will return the same
as we left.
I know once we reach our destination,
you’ll go in for the ****
and I won’t stop you.

Velvety soft and rich in color
they shiver ever so slightly
at your touch, they’ve unrolled
themselves for you
just look, won’t you?
there’s no need in
destroying their soft beauty.

There is something profound in the way that just a singular thought of you can take me to another place, another universe, another eternity. Here, there is no hate, no violence.
Here in this place, there is perfection and there is you.

Often, I cannot tell the difference.

You have a gravity about
you that I have not yet
become accustomed to.
I feel I will never become
accustomed to it, to you
or to the way you push
me in and pull me out,
the way your gravity
keeps me orbiting, just
within reach.

I still remember the taste of
orange fanta, sticky and sweet
on your lips.
It’s as nostalgic, as it is painful,
remembering you.
I swallow a bit easier, with each
coming sip.

It’s been days, weeks, months and an eternity since
I’ve done something useful with these hands.
I make no exaggeration, I’ve been stagnant for so long
now, no motivation, no drive, no power to turn over within myself.
I wish I could keep my spirits lifted on my own, so it wouldn’t
have to be your duty, love.
But every time I put my lips on yours and lay eyes on your face,
I remember what I was put on this earth for.
Only you can reignite the flam within me.
Only you can stir me.
Only you can make waves within me, love.

Speak in tongues,
wear only yellow from now on,
cover the street in paint,
lay naked on the lawn,
shout loudly in my ears,
pour out your soul,
roll around in all your fears,
help me lose control,
forget what I’ve become,
make me feel something, anything,
as now I am nothing
but numb.

“Love hurts”
“Love *****”
“I hate love”

That is not love, my dear.
It is but part of the journey in finding it.

Sneak out, sneak in
let me join you
when your nightride
begins.

Breathe out, breathe in
pull me closer
take me places I’ve
never been.

I’ve found that I don’t mind
the difference between trees
and flowers.
They are all appealing to me.
And being the honeybee, I am,
I’ve found I enjoy the sweet sap
from logs, as much as the flower’s
nectar anyways.

Of all the shoes
and shirts
and skirts
and hats
and pants
and socks
and coats
and every article
of clothing I own,

somehow, I am
still naked
without
you.

Constantly, I am
searching for you beneath
overcast skies and between
the iron-wrought, and beautifully
woven, poetic words of others, but
all along you’ve been beside me,
my whispering muse, and
the love of my life,
gently guiding.

As I stood on that mountain alone and windswept, I realized something.

I realized with the quilted land below me and the fiery painted sky above and with the sun coming up to kiss the new day, I wanted to be anywhere but there.

Despite the beauty I faced on that mountaintop, I felt incomplete.

Like the moon without the sun, I felt incomplete.

And I realized, I’d trade the entire world to be in your arms.

the moon chased me through cities
growing more as days go by

I could not escape its gaze
through foggy curtained windows

I always thought I was made for
the night but as it turned out

the moon burns in me more
than the sun ever could

For eight long years, I’ve known you and during all this time you’ve
been but one of my best friends.

Distance has never been a challenge to us, we always remain within reach.

It is one of my greatest privileges and honors to even know you.
I hope I get to know you for years to come.

I know one thing for certain, if I ever did come face to face with such a spectacular human, I fear, I’d die.

It is easier believing that this entire time I’ve been asleep, dreaming you up, than to face you and have to leave you behind, miles and moons once again between us.

In a world full of darkness
I become your midnight sun.
I’ll wrap ‘round you in warmth and light.
I promise to keep you safe, by my side.
Even in the dark of the night, I’ll be the one
who stays with you through the thick, through the thin,
your loving guide.


Found poem in Tinashe's "Aquarius."

Last night, we were closer than two people could be,
skin to skin, heart to heart, soul to soul.
You made love to me in the darkness, and when we
were done you pulled me as close as you could and whispered
that you loved me with teary eyes and in that moment, I knew
I’d have to fight to keep my heart from exploding within my chest,
because I loved you so much and being so sinfully close to you
awakened the magic within me.

Lust is a tricky mistress,
dressing herself as love,
like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.


Haiku (1)

A tricky mistress
Lust is, dressed herself as love.
Wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Haiku (2)

Tricky mistress, lust,
dressing herself as love —a
wolf in sheep’s clothing.

I lost your necklace
the one you gave me
dropped into my palm
even before we were dating

I lost your necklace
somehow left it behind
on the hospital bed after
my E.R. visit late last night

I lost your necklace
it probably didn’t cost much
but to me, it meant the most,
‘cause when you’re not around,
it reminded me of your love

I lost your necklace
and only just now did I realize
that I lost your necklace
and since this discovery,
I’ve cried, and cried, and cried

I know I don’t need a necklace
to know that I am loved
but I wish that I still had it
because when I held it,
it’s only you
I’d think of

How can I be so completely, head-over-heels in love with you and still dream of another?

In my dreams, I see a man, an old friend, what might have been.
But he isn’t the one that steals softly the breath from my lungs at the very mention of his name.

That is how I know he is no more than a shadow, and I am where I am meant to be —in the light of your love.

I  w a n t  y o u
i n  l a y e r s

L i e  d o w n  o n
Y o u r  s k i n

P e e r  d e e p
d o w n  b e l o w

S e e  w h a t  
L i e s  w i t h i n



I  w a n t  y o u
I n  p i e c e s

T h e  w h o l e
I s  t o o  m u c h

T o  a d m i r e  a t
O n e  t i m e

F o r  n o w,  j u s t
a  t o u c h

She sat among the irises,
her irises ringed with
irises, the flowers swaying sideways in the wind

a flower child in the wild
her inner wild growing
wild and even more wild the more she sat in them

a soft magic called from the earth
as she sat upon the earth and
among the earth, it whispered her name from deep within

Laying beside you is my greatest fear
and my greatest dream,
for both you and I can hear
the rise and fall of my chest,
fighting to keep my breath
in tandem with yours, I could almost scream.

You hold me so close, the air between us
heats up, like a lovely inferno.
I’m pained, being kept from turning
over and over in your burning
grasp, but to be without it would pain me more so.

The melancholic, nostalgic feeling you get while watching her dance, it’s like you’ve stopped breathing and she’s carbon-monoxide, but you remember what your last breath was like -without her, and you’d rather suffocate.

It's like standing at the edge of a cliff watching everything you've ever loved and hoped for fall to the rocks below.

It's like being the smallest soul, the loneliest one in the world with enough hurt in your heart to rip you apart because your skin can't hold the nuclear bomb being detonated inside you.

It's standing beside your soulmate, watching them carry on without you as you slowly implode.

Black coffee, beer
—two things that are
absolutely disgusting
and I won’t pretend
they taste good.

What’s more?
I won’t pretend you
taste good, either.