He knew
he could melt me
with a touch
Dipped his fingers
into my darkness
Burnt his hand
with the pieces still on fire
With a tarred finger
in his mouth
He declared me
sweet

I built myself a home in places
That people called temporary living space
Taped pictures in the walls
While they kept clothes in suitcases

I nestled my heart right in its corners
Nevermind the boxes left unpacked
Stayed there even as the lights turned off
Hopelessly waiting for someone to comeback

I hate that it takes
so little to break me
That I have to struggle daily
to rebuild every small piece
Becoming more fragile
with each attempt
Knowing that every effort
will not make me unbroken

I am certain
that we will find each other
in our next lifetime
and the ones after that
But **** the Gods still
for not giving us this one

I was promised
too many things
all at once
That when they broke it
one by one
I didn't notice
until it was all gone

I was raised learning
that an incredible love
amounted to an equally
incredible guilt
towards the choices
that are made in our names
the opportunities missed
and the dreams abandoned

I was taught to apologize
to that love
long before I understood
what I was apologizing for
never once asking
where the limits of my
incredible guilt stood
when to stop nor if I could

You should have just taught me how to smoke
Instead of things like how to drive and cook my favorite food
That way I could’ve simply tried to give up a bad habit
The same way you gave me up