What hurts more,
The times where the pieces placed themselves
Or
The times where the pieces were nowhere to be found  
?

Things will get better
I whispered to myself

& I still wait
Until
That day it will

But you see
You are missing everything
That passes you by
Because you won't stop
Thinking about that day
You wish would come

you keep thinking & thinking
About life getting better & wanting more

That you forget to
Look at the things you have already
& you have to remind yourself
Things are the best it could be
At the moment
Because there are those
Who have it worse

And the things you wait for
May not come
But you will receive other
Things that not everyone has

Things that you didn't wish for

Things that get you through
Without you realizing it

**& that's what everyone seems To forget

I'm going to forget
All the times you made me
*Cry

Listen,
Don't  let it eat you
Your stronger than that voice inside
Let it slowly die
It's time you begin to really live


                                                         ­                            ♥

R** emembering
A ll the drops whenever
I would look outside and wondered,
N ever thought I would hear my own

I loved everything about today
Because I was with  **You

Her tired mind aches for what she still struggles with
Everyday is silent chaos,
Silent because it’s all in her mind
Silent because it slithers and it destroys her internal
She lives her life running from everything
Trying to hide but no matter where she goes
Her mind knows her best
some days are filled with happiness
Yet she always wanted Joy

Having
Everything bottled up inside
And
Remembering
The times it couldn't take anymore

Suicidal thoughts,
Overthinking,
Cutting,
I
Eventually let
Them get to me, don't let them get to
You

Say something
Because the Silence
Is roaring with the Echoes,
Your Presence
Makes my heart weak & heavy
I can hardly breathe
Your scent,
Burns my eyes & they start to tear
As of the rain on my window
After a beautiful shower
Your lips,
I wish I felt
The Bittersweet taste
That stays in my mouth
Every time I see you

And I'm sorry
But I can't wait any longer
My Love would never be enough
Let me know what will

We risk our hearts to love
And to love again,
Some are scared
But they risk it anyways
Hoping there will
Be something beautiful
In the end

People will be:
scarred
broken
sensitive
depressed
hurt
in pain

And still want to
Love again


Because the Spark
Is no longer there

Trying to create
Something more than a Spark
Something more memorable
Than the last
   *                   *                   *
I want something that Sparks
And never loses its fire,
Never dulls
But becomes more  Vast

Within the days that pass
Knowing I've found You

You look for comfort
When your most not
And seek for better
when it seems not
Looking to feel that escape,
falling in love each and every time
You seem to lose yourself
Once again

Sometimes  I wonder
Sometimes  **I cry
For way too long

THE DEMONS YOU CAN’T HIDE
I KNOW YOU HURTING DEEP INSIDE
I KNOW THAT FAKE SMILE
HOLDS A LOT
I COULD TELL BY YOUR EYES
YOU NEED HEALING
I COULD TELL BY YOUR MIND
EVERYTHING FOR YOU IS MISLEADING
TRYING TO PIECE PIECES ON TOP OF PIECES
WHILE MIND SPEEDING
MIND ALWAYS RACING
ONE THING TO KEEP IN MIND IS TO
ALWAYS HAVE PATIENCE
HAVING WITHDRAWALS TRYING NOT TO GO
BACKWARDS
SO YOU UP
THINKING TO YOURSELF
LET’S SEE HOW FAR I CAN GO
BEFORE I CRASH
HOPING I MAKE IT FURTHER THIS TIME
I CAN’T LOOK BACK NOW
I MADE IT SO FAR
FEELINGS IN DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS
GOING THROUGH DIFFERENT EMOTIONS
PIECES WITHIN MORE PIECES
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MESS
I CALL ART
A MASTERPIECE IN THE MAKING
WHEN I EXPRESS
I BREAK DOWN
EVERY SO OFTEN
THROUGHOUT MY NIGHTS
THROUGHOUT MY DAYS
THIS FEELING HURTS
I AM HAPPY FOR MY FUTURE ENDEAVORS
I DESERVE THIS
AND SIMULTANEOUSLY
DEEP DOWN I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN
INTERNALLY
AND AS I FOCUS
I FEEL EVERY BIT OF
EVERYTHING
I AM LIVID
I AM DISGUSTED
WITH MYSELF
FOR ALLOWING THINGS TO ALTER
LOOKING AT MY REFLECTION
AS I SPIRALED
I WENT COMPLETELY BLACK
I SUNK
I WASN’T ME
I WAS IN A DARK PLACE FOR A YEAR
FOR THE TIME I SPENT THERE
IT MADE ME STRONGER
NOW IM DEFEATING MY DEMONS
IM WARRIOR
IM BECOMING EVERYTHING I WANT TO BE
THE BEST VERSION OF MYSELF
SCULPTING EVERY BIT OF ME
STARTING WITH MY MIND
THIS JOURNEY ISN’T GOING TO BE EASY
WE BOTH ARE AWARE OF IT
YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS IMPORTANT
YOU ARE IMPORTANT
YOU WEIGHT
YOU MATTER
EVEN WHEN YOU SINK
EVEN WHEN YOU THINK YOU CANT
YOU CAN
AND THERE ARE GOING TO BE
DAYS
EASIER THAN OTHERS
NIGHTS
HARDER THAN OTHERS
AND WHEN YOU FALL
FROM SUCH HEIGHTS
DON’T GIVE UP
STAY STRONG
LOVE YOURSELF
FORGIVE YOURSELF
EVERY SINGLE TIME
TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
WHEN NEEDED
FIGHT FOR YOURSELF
LIKE YOU FIGHT FOR OTHERS
THEY NEED YOU
SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF
BE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BECOME
DON’T LET THE PAST HOLD YOU BACK
OF YOUR BLESSINGS
LET GO OF ANYTHING THAT’S HINDERS YOU
THE ONLY
THAT CLOSURE YOU THINK YOU NEED IS JUST TAKING
STEPS FORWARD
AND NEVER LOOKING BACK
A DAY AT A TIME
WE GOT THIS
THROUGH TRAILS & TRIBULATIONS MADE 
FOR LESSONS LEARNED
AND SO MUCH MORE TO GAIN
❤️‍🩹

Sometimes when our minds
Is too sour
We need something*  **sweet

☽

The dark blue opened sky
Just the way I pictured to see it
And You being with me
Made everything complete
Because you were next to me
And I got to tell you right then,
Looking up trying to find
Hidden gold stars *☆ ,
I spotted a few with you
☆ As we walked to the park at night ☆

The November weather is here
Making our hands cold
As we sat on a single bench
Under a big tree
Which gave us shade
Looking at all the leaves on the ground
Makes me smile for some reason
There's just so much of them

As you were getting closer to me
I saw a yellow leaf between Us,
And I put it under my wallet
So the wind won't
Sneak up and take it,
The leaf was the only thing
Keeping us apart
An unfinished puzzle piece
It was,  &
When we finally connected
It felt complete
I love being close to You

Kissing you with the music
You play
Is a good different &
Kissing you three minutes plus
Is always a nice feeling
It turned me on
When you ****** on my tongue
while my tongue was folded,
Every time I ****** on your tongue
It felt like I was taking a part of you

Our random talks
Makes me see life in a different way
Its interesting how people think
I find it very different

I love that I'm open with You
You hardly find people
You can be open to
Which *****
But I'm thankful
I have you to be open to

I look forward to more of our talks
I look forward to learn great things about You
I look forward to laughing with You

In between,
Thank you for being You,
With me,

Cooper :

     **♥

The words forever soaked in
The repetition was different
Every time I thought about it
Nothing was ever the same

With every thread reminding me
The pain I've felt within the early pages
Its all I have ever encountered
Its all I know

Listen
I 've heard
E nough
S o please, say nothing

I'm  obsessed  with the  canvas
We created
Above us  two

&
I'm always searching for  You
When I'm looking up into the sky

the warmth of your lips touch upon mine
Reasons why I always went for more
maybe if I sip this I can let go of every memory of you
I should have known you weren't any good

They come & go
Just Like People

Sometimes things are  felt  without words

Sometimes things without  words  aren't felt

Even when bad things occur
We always forget about
The good things we still have.

Things came apart
But
When it came back together
Not every piece
Was put back in its place

Tears rush down one by one blinding me;
Every one of them
Are different
Reasons why they
Slither

Gonna go on a drive with you,
I don't know where
But let's go some where
far away from here,
Setting our eyes on seas we've never seen,
Setting our minds to travel the unseen,
Let's take a journey, you and I,
Traveling trails of a mountain
That lead us into the sky, and
When we find our way back down
We can sit in the sands of the sea
Watching the waves move up shore
Kissing our toes, and when night falls,
I'll remind you how much I love
The stars and the moon
While we are looking up at the sky,
I'll hold you, watching you
Fall asleep in my arms,
Realizing, --that every moment
I've spent with you on our
Journey has made me
Love all of what we do
Together--  *as a whole

He knew what she's been through
& he did the things
He said He wouldn't

                                          Even when he
                                                            ­                 Promised
                                                      ­                                                 **Not to

Hottest Summer turned to the coldest Winter
Drinking all this liquor, it keep me burning ruining my liver
Oh I can’t sleep
Hell is loving you in my sleep and waking up alone
I met you in my dreams
Stories were untold
Told me
We were going to have better days
Oh how much I love sleep
Oh how much I can’t sleep
Can’t accept that you only exist when my eyes closed
Time ran fast when my eyes closed
Thought we were close
I would wait for you
You never showed
After that heated argument
You never showed
Now I have  no one to hold me while I sleep
Now I hate sleep
So tired I lost track of time
Time ran slow without you
Parts of me feels like I can’t do this without you
So many letters I lost track of that too
Days ahead still not over you
I want to continue dreaming
I want to Dream forevermore
& now I drown my body in caffeine
Trying not to dream
Knowing that the farther I am
The weight becomes light
And I can breathe again
Blurred vision with tears blinding me
Ever felt heavy heart
Ever felt distorted thoughts ruining you
Tearing you apart
Knowing you kept me whole
Connection bond through body & soul

☾  I am the moon  ◯
And you’re the sun    ☀
You always have a way of
Filling my days & my nights
With light
I feel so warm when were together
Whenever were close to each other we create
A beautiful sunset with
Our thoughts that we share together
                                                                                                  
☀   You light the sky during it's darkest hour                         ☄
You have stars that twinkle and shoot across the sky
We look up to find shapes in the clouds and stars that align
Looking at you with that pretty face
I feel good knowing I can kiss you at anytime

☾  Every time I see something beautiful
That the sky holds
I want to share it with you

The night comes with so many things
We yet have to discover
The sky is the canvas

The:     ☁                   ✮               ✈            ☁        ✮                    ☁
   ✈                ✮                     ☁         ✮                        ☁         ✈          ✮
                            ◯
Stars –shining up above in space–
Clouds –moving over our heads–
Airplanes –flying above us–
And the moon –seeming so close we can touch it–
It's within everything you picture it to be
Creating our own sky
Creating our own canvas
Making two skies,   –One–
Blending them together
Making a beautiful picture
So breathtaking
Silence starts to play a part
We let our minds wander

And I'm Staring at you
Until our eyes  finally  meet
That’s when you would smile
When you catch me looking at you
And I would just smile back
Me being next to you
Wanting to kiss you within the next
Seconds
I get so bubbly inside
And I can't help it

I love your presence
You Amaze me
**♥

Have you ever thought
Our
Memories would be held here
Everytime I think about it, I can't help but cry

sometimes you have to be vulnerable
and embrace everything
in order to live again
||

**Don't ever think your weak

A person can be  insane
And love you to bits

A person can (also) be  sane
And not love you at all

If you ever thought you made me smile
You did
If you ever thought you made me laugh
You did
If you ever thought you made me feel good
You did

If you would've just think a few more seconds


Have you ever thought if you made me
Sad, cry, depressed
Because you also did

& you'll never know
**Because you never cared to ask

Perfecting the pictures of us
Remembering the times we had spent together
Overly thinking about the pain I've once felt
So many memories held in one single photo and I can't
Even think about putting it away

Everything
Just
Started
To
Fade
&
I wish I could have
**Darken Us

Why is my presence needed
When my mind is
Elsewhere?

Plenty of memories
And
Someday I will learn
To let go

I look straight into the sky
And I think about You
Knowing your looking
Right back at me
Or making myself
Believe that you are
You know the little things
We convince ourselves
So we can get through
The day and night
We both share the same sky
We both shared so much
You adore me
I adore you
And even if things
Shift left and right
Just know that the sky is up;
Look up Joe
Because I'm staring
Thinking you'll be doing the same

She writes down:
Her thoughts
Her Memories
Her Experiences

Sips on some strong alcohol
Because it makes her forget
*Every negative moment she encountered
And there comes a point where
She starts thinking about her life

Waking up next to empty bottles
With more regrets
So she grabs another one
To start her day

So
Much joy
It brings
Let it show;
Eventually someone will fall in love with it

Sometimes when I'm looking for something
I don't know what I'm really looking for
But when I'm done looking
I end up with something
That either brings a tear or a smile.

I tried to hold everything together
And seconds later, the tears seem
To fall down

And I am under
drowning

The pieces of my heart
Is scattered

And trying to
Find the pieces
Is like trying to count
The stars in the sky at night
With tears rolling down

would you love me

                                       if I were sane;

I'll wake up
&
I feel like
I'm still
Dreaming

Darkness was all there was
Darkness was all I seen

Give me light
So I can be on
My way

Just a little light
Just a little light
**Can help

Learning as the days go by,
Finding the things that fit us best
& letting go  **of what starts
To rot within

Please,
I** ask you to hold
Every bit of my heart with
Care because
Every bit of my heart is
Sensitive

Lies
          After
                      Lies
           ­                            & as much as I wanted to
                                         Believe  You
                                               ­                                                              **I couldn't