There are days when my limbs don't cooperate when I tell them to move and leave the bed.
My pillow seems to be made of quicksand slowly swallowing up my head.
My mood is nothing; I'm not happy, I'm not sad.
But the day certainly isn't starting well, it's actually quite bad.
There are thoughts inside my head that I'm trying not to think.
I don't want to face my lover's problems or his propensity to drink.
If I did, I would have to let go of a dream I've just begun to dream.
And then I would have to admit begrudgingly that things aren't what they seem.
All I want is to be happy and to have someone in my life.
Someone who cares enough for me to one day make me their wife.
You would think that wouldn't be too much to ask but it keeps eluding me.
I'm beginning to think the happy ending I've been dreaming of just isn't meant to be.
I've dealt with all the horrors that have been thrown my way.
All in the hope that love would find me and things would get easier someday.
Maybe I would find someone who could share the responsibilities and the strain.
But so far all I've found are those determined to cause me even more pain.
I keep trying to find that one to sweep me off my feet.
But each time they hand me the broom the second that we meet.
I'm tired of being the breadwinner, the one to always provide.
When will I be the one taken care of instead of taken for a ride?
I'm getting tired of being let down, I'm just about ready to quit.
Because each man is worse than the last and my heart can't take anymore of this ****.
It's been picked up and put back together, only to be thrown back on the floor.
But a lack of self worth and insecurity keeps me going back for more.
It's been stomped on, cursed at, sliced up and burned.
And a jaded, untrusting woman is what all this abuse has spurned.
No wonder my body doesn't want to rise to meet another day.
It knows all too well what hurdles will be standing in its way.
I wish I could be more optimistic and force myself to move.
But I'm starting to give up on love and life, they have a lot to prove.
They've disappointed me so far time and time again.
Everyone says not to give up, but the question I have is WHEN?

Babies, babies everywhere
Usually it's your opinion I share
We're too old, too tired, too busy
But the babies all around me are making me dizzy

I'm rational, realistic and levelheaded
It would be enough for me if we were just wedded
Barely in our forties, but our youth in the past
But I feel that the baby window is closing fast

We each have our own and have been down this road a time or two
But they're all growing up so fast, and I've never gotten to have one with you
Robbed of that chance, I feel like we missed out on what should've been our life, our destiny
But I feel blessed for the boys we have and I will be happy if that's all that's meant to be

Babies are loud and they're too expensive
And, truthfully, I really do like the way we live
So many obstacles stand in the way
A vasectomy, decreased fertility, how to pay

It all gets so technical and sterile and void of romance
I wonder if there is even the slightest chance
All the procedures we'd need to endure
So with this decision, we both must be sure

Will we regret it and wish we had chosen a different path
I don't want to end up in the poor house for not doing the math
I'm so busy, would a surrogate be the way to go
A nanny is fine for after, but with a surrogate, can a bond grow

Then there's the smell of their hair
That special bond that only you two share
The way they hold onto you as if you hold the key to their heart
The look of total terror in their eyes whenever you must part

A small piece of me and a small piece of you
Someone we create together, something we chose to do
The one we were supposed to have years ago
The dream that neither of us quite let go

Here we are, decades later, together again
Has too much time passed, too much life been
Or was it always meant to be this way, We're older and wiser and more ready today

It may never work and I need you to know, that I'm happy with just us if that's God's plan
But if this is possible and my last chance, then I know you are the perfect man
They'll all talk about us and say we're too old and crazy
But this is how I chose to tell you, I'd like to try to have your baby

I abide
Sunny
Inspite
Of agony
I caress
The Aurora
Inspite of cloudburst
I show the globe
Stupendous adoration
Inspite Of distress
My heart
Abide
Unclouded
Inspite
Malicious
I have this fire
Burning in my soul
I
wasn’t born
For the cold

She’s
a
Beautiful          piece
Of  
                  broken
roses

One        thing        I’ve        come        to
  Observed   A   Rose  flowering   Plant
Always    Grows  back     Stronger
Blossoms Evermore  Beautifully
Regardless How many
Times   It  has been
Step  
On  
Or  
S  
  C    
  O  
    R  
          E  
                 D

I watch you while you're sleeping
You don't even seem to know
I watch your chest rise and fall
First quickly, then oh so slow

My thoughts turn naughty quickly and I wonder how much it would take
As I rub my naked ******* against your chest, to ****** you awake

I start to touch you and hear you purr
Then I feel my own familiar warm stir

I turn my back to you and feel your
poke
I reach behind me and with my hand, I stroke

You're awake now in every way
And you sense correctly that I want to play

I push back against you and guide you between my thighs
You rub against me and feel my heat and wetness and hear my sighs

You know I want you inside me, I can't wait
You decide to artfully tease me, prolonging our fate

I moan in protest, but your mouth covers mine
My breath is warm in that mouth as I beg you to take me from behind

You smile and take one ****** and start to softly bite
Then you're under the covers and out of sight

I feel your mouth on me licking, *******, tasting
You lap up every drop of me, never one for wasting

Then I feel your fingers expertly start to explore
Coupled with your mouth on me, it's more than I can endure

I'm quickly sent over the edge, my body shaking with pleasure
And then I feel your tongue inside me collecting all your treasure

Slowly I come back to reality as you slide your perfect nakedness back up to meet me
You kiss me long and hard and I taste myself on your lips and inside me is where I need you to be

You're pushing against my wet entrance and inside me you begin to slide
To the place that's silently screaming for you so very deep inside

You're so big and long that it takes a few strokes and a sharp intake of breath, before I can take you all in
The mixture of the pain your size causes and the pleasure of my sated desire, the very definition of sin

You entice and explore parts of me never touched before
I push up with my hips rhythmically, wanting and needing more

You growl and moan into my ear and I say breathlessly, "I am all yours"
Your movements increase with speed until you're pounding against my pelvic floor

This sends your body into a series of ****** convulsive jerks
And this is a feeling I can never resist, one that always works

As I feel your powerful release deep inside of me
My ****** meets yours pulling you in where you were meant to be

We collapse together, bodies intertwined, shaking and covered in sweat
We can't help but smile in exhausted happiness now, with all our desires met

Our breathing is ragged, your back marked with the red lines of my claw
I am throbbing and aching and I know that later I'll be sore and raw

None of this matters to us now as we drift off to sleep in a naked embrace
Because we both know we'll do it again even before our hearts return to their normal pace

Every night I try in vain
To stop hearing your name
But you follow me from room to room
Filling my mind and heart with doom
I can't stop the thoughts as they come
Sleep eludes me even though I need some
You chose to leave me in the most final way
Memories will haunt me forever from that awful day
So, since it was your choice to leave and not mine
It would be great if you could give my mind some time
It needs to rest, to stop, to sleep
Please let tonight be the one I don't weep