there's more to life than back-rubs,
hip smacks
and arm tugs.
so much more than tongue kisses,
one nighters
and catfishes
who claim to love.
-

i made a friend out of fire,
fire burns without desire
and yearns for no companion,
its okay alone.
i see how it moves,
i see how it sways,
and seeks to destroy if it is betrayed...

i dont wanna be like them;
miserable,
losing touch with who i am.
losing hope
more and more as the days go by.
living a lie.
i dont wanna be lost,
searching for something thats not there.
i wanna be here
with no worry or fear
of whats to come next,
or whats never to come.
i dont wanna be broken
by words left unspoken.
i wanna be whole,
in tuned with mind,
body,
spirit
& soul.
i dont wanna be just another being
living to die,
living to buy,
questioning why.

i remember smashing windows & starting fights to prove my love,
while you stand there watching me make a mess of whom i thought that i was.
like the 'what' we could've had
& all exchange was mediocre;
coulda' done better,
man i wish we were genuine.

tough as nails,
you’re so inspiring.
the way you bottle up emotions & hide your pain behind the strength you gained from running away. every single time.
you occupy yourself with a facade of who you wish to become, i think it’s working..
is it working? i don’t think it’s working.
maybe it is working,
maybe you just need to stay positive.
it’s simple.
all you have to do is listen to a million motivational speeches & tell yourself that everything will be ok eventually.
but will it?
try shutting everyone out of your life,
mask all of your feelings.
did that work?
have you tried drowning in your emotions & re-visiting your past?
maybe if you actually speak about what’s going on in your head.. wait, no!
a victim should never play the victim, not a good look.
be silent.
show emotion.
be strong.
raise hell.
never let them see you frown.
uhhh?
why are you so hard?
do you have emotions?
have you tried crying?
have you tried venting?

uninspired yet still so inspired.
-
moving at a reasonable pace but sometimes i start to wonder if im moving..
or moving fast enough.
left my faith in the hands of the universal decider;
& im not worried
i just need reassurance.
then a message so timely,
on the walls in the sky brings awareness to the questions of who, how and why.
"you are here, you exist.
all that you seek is in the midst of all that surrounds you.
feed your spirit,
let it ground you.
bring you back down to the earth,
no need to question or search.
divine timing and plans
are in motion and stands with the forces that were sent here to guide you.
for reassurance take another look inside you."
thank you!

drown in heavy metal,
with desire to be isolated.
-
disgusted corners my disgrace,
disappointment files for restraint;
all while cell towers flashing lights
try to grip my mind tight.
-
they cant control me,
im untamable;
they cant reach me,
who would they call?
names are for particular things.

expectations turned desolation,
you knew initially nothing more could be found.
still,
you allow tears to form
as your stomach turns
at the harsh realization
that nothing more can be found...
-
stop pouring yourself empty
into the cups of whom has no intention to replenish.

at the sound of a click,
that is lighter releasing flame
to ignite my insane nature of psyche.
-
with the ground rolled up,
i keep searching for height
and i keep finding it...
-
though,
im afraid
ill lose my way
back down to earth.

totems come as eagles
captures snake,
as great change
& mystery takes place,
on display as common interest...
its always deep beyond the surface.

i could just pass on,
or pass up
or put up for adoption.
i could place reliance and dependance,
i could **** well place the blame
and i could place my being everywhere else,
but home.
-
i choose home.

doors opened to the tenth dimension,
the god in me knows
i've earned it...
-
obstacles throw themselves at me,
testing my patience
& im learning
to trust the timing...

i start to think i need to be the type of poet,
that resonates well with all sorts
& connects at first glance.
-
it drains me to want to be someone that i already am...
-
there's no right or wrong way when you're so introspective
that you only see the vastness of your being;
you only see far & wide,
endless possibility
& endless truth...
don't lose yourself,
just embrace your point of view.

i know that you're happy...
most days.
& i know that you're cautious
looking out,
both ways.
i see that you're focused,
on a path,
you seek wealth.
& i know that these days you rarely feel like yourself.
i know that you're human
& if not human then,
i know that you were here long enough
so you're conditioned
to the nature of the human &
humanly conditions.
i know that your position makes it hard to go slow,
im listening and watching all the actions you show.
a glimpse of where you can go,
and where you can grow.
i see you,
i know
that i cant judge a book by its cover
or by another.
& i know we're distant by ages,
i know i cant predict the story
by only reading two pages.

images on walls,
so vivid i can see every pixel merged to form symbols
to change words into the original state of
nothing.
-
imagine walls cleared out
at one shout of word spoken,
one stroke of pen,
one strike of thought.

sometimes eloquence acts as child-less,
way too grown,
too great an experience with worldly things.
but are they simply,
just worldly?
-
inter-dimensionality & whole-ness make me see all things as all things.
-
i mean,
you can heal hearts
and seek revenge
in the same breath;
you can gain more,
while you feel less;
you can make what's close enough,
exact
when you're diverse enough.

i'd say wipe out the whole 'humanity',
flood the land,
clear the trace,
clear the mind,
the hidden space
where they placed fear through nano-bytes,
not black or white;
illusion.
-

by decree & declaration;
all in alignment
& accordance
with cosmic law & principal,
universal flow &
the balance of the whole;
shall come to be,
infinite.

nothing makes sense anymore...
how can one be ever so strange?
is your mind too expansive?
is your vision too vivid?
have you had a great awakening
or some strange attempt at mystic.
-

there's a law that says i cant always be powerful
so somedays my sway may seem a-lotta bit off.
you'll see me smile while claiming sanity,
the next day im concrete stiff.
i know i must
but if
i had to choose,
i wouldn't...
-
something about balance.

i built dreams within dreams,
surpassed 3 levels.
-
now, i cant tell
dream from reality,
i created my own devil...

sometimes im here,
sometimes im listening,
sometimes im hearty,
sometimes heart-broken
by the hands of myself.
-
sometimes i take the blame,
most times i place it elsewhere.
sometimes i channel fear &
destructive energies
then level up.

they said "suffer consequence to every action",
is that consequence bitterness &
inability to connect?
-
i'm unable to connect,
i think i cursed myself
when i found comfort in only myself.
-
when i became too attached to my own outcome,
my legs became lazy to move
to contemplate any other resolve.
-
i refuse to take anything less than i might offer.
dismiss me now,
or i might come off too strong.

is it so strange to want nothing so badly
that you think long and hard to solely serve others?
are you at such complacency with your own being
that you desire of only nothing more than
setting inspiration free by word of mouth
or words at one click of a keyboard,
on someone else’s behalf.

uncertain statements,
unshaved reactions to
unthought of movement;
its silly to think that nothing you do holds affect.
-
its a reason why you'll silence your mind
then ramble on again
through means of another source...

you're 500mph,
where does it lead you?

mouths moving,
still not sure what you speak
or why you speak...
-
no one seems to agree with me,
shut the **** up.

make a home in your chaos,
embrace your inner madness,
it is better to light a candle
than to curse the darkness.

you stroke all of my weak spots,
true colors are a bleak,
emitting radiation
to reveal what's underneath.
your love is like a drug,
so bad
but
yet
so good.
your lips
are worth me dying,
destroy me like you should.

funny enough
i don't give a flying ****...
yet i still do,
strange enough...

my nerves wreck upon confronting,
i'd rather stand back
at the back of the room.
find me at the nearest exit,
off-setting the center of attention.
avoiding conversation with
dismissive head-nods
& wondering why i came...
-

they say the same walls that block out fear will keep the happiness away.
so these days im roaming freely,
seeking all in vast array.
-
letting walls down,
opened for trespassing,
unlocking doors now.
-
no longer watching my steps,
i may just trip the alarm.
i may just take over the world,
i may not ever make a sound.
i may not ever come around again,
i'm feeling lowly,
im in search of
higher ground again.

he says emotions are my down-fall...
then i show him
how destructive words can be.
-

like a flower in May;
open.
til the next day,
closed.
with a caution
no entry,
there's no crossing
my mente.
to the love that wants to hold me forever,
& the arms that wish to hold me together:
once you've reached to the point of consideration,
consider waiting.
consider me broken,
searching for comfort.
hoping for consistent lover.
trying too hard to give the time and day,
giving my time away
to those that see no value in depth.
the ones that see my mystery as threat,
with no intentions of exploring,
a waste of space and so annoying.
no words left to be spoken,
keep me open.

make clothing, if you love to.
do fun things with your hands.
tell jokes or
make some music,
if you love to sing & dance.
-
write words,
share stories,
create new culture,
new expressions.
-
do anything you love.
do everything you love.
find happiness in all that you do.

from ratchet to reasonable,
thought i told you i was diverse.
-
meeting ends with all,
in-tune & awe.

the first of its kind,
look closer you'll find
a hint and a sign
of a brilliant,
divine
work of art.
far from usual,
and so far apart
from the ordinary.
tell me,
where else have you seen her?
the true face of god.
so much strength,
her demeanor
shines,
glistens like the jewels in a chest
but she's buried underground,
beneath the mark of an x.
which lucky seeker
thats hunting for treasure
-
will get the privilege,
be blessed with much pleasure?

behind a mask,
beyond the veil.
i shield my honor.
i restore balance within mine energy field,
in face of whom has no sense of whatsoever.
-
you see,
i try my hardest to be invisible
but somehow they still see me.
-
they still trace me back to somewhere they might have known,
they still gain an illusive perception that they know all that there is to me by just one look upon my face.
-
now,
what is there to see?
-
if you grace my presence for reasons likely,
you’ll be sure to greet only eyes that see through.
eyes with glare that doesn't stare or stay for too long.

with respects paid to physical reflection
or 'seemingly'.
-
if i don't take breaks,
i'd have broken glass
for many years to come.
i see more reflection
when i do gaze
in face of the sun.

do you think its natural for someone to search for love?
or is it like some sort of forced perception
that we randomly fall into
because its so common to have that sort of connection?