tough as nails,
you’re so inspiring.
the way you bottle up emotions & hide your pain behind the strength you gained from running away. every single time.
you occupy yourself with a facade of who you wish to become, i think it’s working..
is it working? i don’t think it’s working.
maybe it is working,
maybe you just need to stay positive.
it’s simple.
all you have to do is listen to a million motivational speeches & tell yourself that everything will be ok eventually.
but will it?
try shutting everyone out of your life,
mask all of your feelings.
did that work?
have you tried drowning in your emotions & re-visiting your past?
maybe if you actually speak about what’s going on in your head.. wait, no!
a victim should never play the victim, not a good look.
be silent.
show emotion.
be strong.
raise hell.
never let them see you frown.
uhhh?
why are you so hard?
do you have emotions?
have you tried crying?
have you tried venting?

sit your innocent little,
14 year old body on my lap.
not so sure where i will take you,
let me draw you out a map.
down the roads of mere destruction,
little bird just sing a song.
lay still,
lay silent.
i promise i won’t be long.

innocent little, 14 year old
broken & disturbed.
you cried for help,
your cries were loud
yet still nobody heard.
you’ll be okay,
just keep a secret,
14 year old girl.
i changed your life,
i changed you,
i changed your outlook on the world.

it’s like a never ending maze. & maybe i **** at making the right choices, maybe i am a ******* *****-up that does things in heats of moments completely neglecting logic. maybe i am still haunted by my past, running rampant because i so badly want to escape that person, those feelings.
trying to stay sane is a full time job that does not pay enough.
my attempts to find a love is near impossible.
i will never be good enough, will i?
i am but a girl, traumatized by disadvantages that stole my innocence way too early.
it’s hard explaining why you’re ****** up in the head while trying to outrun the demons that drag you back into hell.
so i close my eyes,
i close my heart,
i close my mind.
i was always the victim.
i always stayed silent.
i never fought because i could never win.
i no longer fight because i will never win.