You...
Are not easy to appease and quite unsweet
(Special to me)

You...
Are the red ball my mother said it is dangerous to play with
(A world unrevealed)

Yet, I'm drawn to your bitterness
It makes me feel canny.

There's nothing more I love than candy
I mean I would be dandy with an outstanding quantity
Somehow still unequal to the flavor of you

You...
Who pulls my tail and teases my senses
(Convince me my pain is not real)

You...
Are the personified insatiable
And complacency is dullified when you are on my mind

This is my inept attempt to explain
I want to drown in the aroma that is you

Lose my fingers in your skin
Awakening your phobias in hopes I'll forget, my own.

Smear my lips near your hips
And you'll remind me
I only want you because I am not supposed to

You...
Are the olive taste I can not replace
I want to spit you out like gum,
But it would be so futile to.
(For I love you)

This is a story begun
Never ended

Everytime I try
Just shush, just listen
It's all fuzzy, glitching

I can not seem to find my motivation in anything
Unless prompted by a grade

I can pass your course, yet I'll fail my life
I'd dream myself to be something other than a student
If your class didnt take all my time

If I did not spend my nights trying to find a reason why ...
Knowledge makes me want to die
Consume my mind

A few more credits to accredit my worth

Unassisted, a lack of support tore my nature to explore
and gave me the power to put on a wry smile and lie

Mutter, "I'm fine"

"... I am sunkissed,
Dropped from the sky above like a raindrop

I shine like a star
Made out of what was once nothing

I am the reason light exist.
I am the lonely uncertainty
That sits within darkness.

I cry out to my opposite,
Longing to attract it."

Please fill me with love before I flatline
Filtered and withered,
I sigh

Masks are a cancer flooding my blood stream
Staining my skin
Leaving me philosophizing
Over why I'm still living

It feels like I have to end me
Because nothing will mend me

I tried to speak, but the ambivalence outstretched to my throat before it could connect
The message to your screen

Drifting from myself
Forlorn shreds
I won't scream

I only know how to suppress
I've been submerged into thoughts of depression
Due to all I have been neglecting

This is the pain express
Toot my horn and come aboard
If you have the qualifications your reward granted
Is beyond explored

You'll wield power beyond any galaxies in space
Knowing what exist and how to get to what is sick
In order to remedy it

I stopped carrying life the second you dropped that glass
Emptied out
The vacancy poisoned my plasma to vast degrees

Attempting to finally earn a little more than lack of words from the past
The bruises are firm but the alert fluctuates in my brain  
While I wait
To find a cure for what I hate

Oscillating between extremes
I'm not sure who I want to be in this story.

My soul seeps through the floor boards
I pray to the lord he'll take me with a flaming sword

The chords have wrapped around my wrist and feet
My fingers bleed like mold dripping from my missing ceiling

There's not a scream left in me
Not a voice
You drown it out when you create voids
Digging past my surface planting hurtful words and poisoning purity

I took all the mirrors down
They reflect the mildew of grief
Anguish supreme
Reign of anger and hate

I mourn for what was torn out of me
I cannot write what is intangible
Unforeseen
I just want to forget what's happening

Which is why I'm done writing

I can't speak so I can't use words to truly express anything
The chords around my wrist and feet are on my throat in my mouth

Weep
Vocal chords vibrating from the shaking of cold rigid fear

Fear I find when I awake mid-night crying out for
No one and nothing... nowhere.

You can not cure my intoxication
If all you know is CPR
You're trying to do the heimlich
I'm not even aware of where we are

And to think you think you can help
Ignites the rushing blood in me

I swallowed all the poison
So I would not see

As it pours out my mouth
And my life is choked up

The sun rises over the bay
As my eyes flutter I know

I will never have to see her again
That's all that matters

As I lie on the ground
And feel the cold earth I will join

I cannot speak
Everything hurts
This is the most my pain has ever been worth

One tries to save me, but it's too late
I ate off the feasting plate

I ate at the queen of the festivals table
I love her and long to be able

To be in the moment once more
I know it won't happen.
So here's my reaction

My action to the action
Of her death in my life.

My heart is a calamity containing calidity
I condone my situation because of what I view as justification... validity

I commence in feeding an ego that soon will be too immense for my own body

To lobby for draining more of who I was to satisfy a condition that should cease in existence...
(Who I am)
Has no point.

It's chronic to my health and as I continue to comment
I wish a cosmic allotment would hit me

I close my eyes and fade
Hoping to capture my reveries, but instead
I capitulate to the reality bleeding through my eyes

My insides dwell under a crimson sunset sky
How can the sun dare to shine on a place frozen over?
Ineffable and sublime

I attempt to open my eyes
Stopped by my bride, clinomania
She lies next to me in bed
I'd try to get out, but the only thing left is my head

Even then the dessert sand interior never fails to blow right through my hands
Binding my bones
Paralyzing my stance

I might be on Mars
That was never the plan

Yet, here I stand
Tongue in hand
Heart full of blood

Why is nothing ever enough?