forget me.
if you're leaving then don't expect to
be welcomed back
whenever you decide you want me again.
i did everything i could.
i can't wait until you realize
that you miss having me there.
i can't wait for you to know
how it feels
to miss someone who
doesn't miss you.
i can't wait until you come back,
only to be pushed back out.
i can't wait until you feel
like i do.

i wish i didn't notice
the girl who smiles too big
and i wish i didn't see her
clenching her fists
i wish i didn't feel her pain
i wish i couldnt see the dried up tears
i wish i didnt share the fears
i notice when she pulls down
her sleeves a bit
and winces when something hits her hip
i wish i didnt see the bruises
on her soft cheeks
week after week
i wish i didnt see her breathing quicken
i wish i didnt panic too
I can see it! Can you?

it's difficult not to notice
the interconnection
of everything that is
the blades of grass
transcend into a lovely
girl's hair
and the ocean becomes her
tears
and the harsh air of winter
becomes her upset sigh
and the sunshine
becomes what he sees in her eyes
and the flowers
become her potential to
be happy
its hard not to notice
the interconnection

but i will always remember
your hands in my hair
and all over the rest of me
i'll never be able to forget
the feeling of a first
not ****;
but love.
i'll never forget
the way you anchored down
into my chest
the last week of summer
i'll always remember the first
week of fall
when i was not strong enough
to pull you out

i need to accept that my notebooks
don't need someone else's name
scrawled on every page
to be filled.
i need to write my own name
first
in my best cursive,
with hearts over the i's.
i need to write love letters
and list everything that i adore about
myself
i can hold my own hand.
i can stand alone.

i told her not to be lonely when i left,
"i'm never lonely,"
she said.
"when you leave,
my demons will come back."